30 Reasons That Somebody Might Be Shy

1. They are self-conscious

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One of the biggest reasons that people are shy is because they are self-conscious. Self-consciousness can stem from so many different reasons. It could be that they are conscious about how they look in terms of their appearance, or they could be conscious of their social status. A person could be self-conscious about their personality and not feeling as good as other people. As humans there are SO many different things we analyze about ourselves and critique about whether they are good or look good enough.

2. They put too much pressure on themselves

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It's a natural thing we do as humans, to place pressure on ourselves in so many different aspects of our lives to always be the best or perform the best we possibly can. We also place pressure on ourselves to be seen by other people in a certain way or be liked for example. We also feel huge pressure from other people and society in general to be a particular kind of person. These pressures can build up and actually deter people from wanting to be social because of the sheer amount of pressure they feel to be or act a certain kind of way. And so all of these pressures can result in them feeling super shy.

3. It's what they're used to

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Sometimes it is as simple as you get to know and you get to like what you are used to. For example, if a person feels more comfortable in smaller social situations or being alone, they will do this more often because it feels good to them. Then, the more they act like this, the more of a deal it becomes for them to step outside their comfort zone. So essentially, somebody who is shy may make themselves even more shy by getting used to being alone or in small groups rather than getting used to being more confident.

4. They have social anxiety

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If a person suffers from social anxiety then they will by default, be shy. Social anxiety is a mental health condition in which the person who suffers from it will feel majorly overwhelmed and uncomfortable being in social situations with lots of people. Even the thought of social situations can send them into a panic. It can really take a toll on general life as the fear can be consuming at times. So when a person has social anxiety they are shy and will most likely avoid social situations if possible.

5. They may have low self-esteem

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Another very common reason that people are shy is that they have low self-esteem, which may make them feel too nervous to be social or to speak to too many people. When someone has low self-esteem they do not have confidence in themselves (for various reasons which depend on the person) and so they feel very uncomfortable being around too many people or in social settings. They may not feel confident enough to do social things as they may believe that other people are looking at them with the same view that they have of themselves.

6. They have a fear of rejection

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Fear of rejection can prevent us from doing a lot of things because naturally, we do not like to get knocked back. But some people have a deep fear of rejection which prevents them from getting to the stage where they could get rejected because it affects them so much. It can be self-sabotage in some situations, where someone rejects something or someone just so it doesn't happen to someone else. This can lead them to being shy because they are avoiding a situation in which they could find themselves being rejected.

7. They overthink things

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Overthinking things can make you dwell on every tiny little detail. These little details are probably insignificant things that other people wouldn't even remember, but our brains sometimes spiral into a habit of dissecting everything and as the saying goes...' making a mountain out of a molehill'. So when someone is prone to overthinking, it means that they may dwell on every detail of their interactions including reading negative things into it and pulling apart every word apart which can make them shy as a result.

8. Genetics

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One reason that explains why some people may be shy could be that it simply boils down to genetics and what's in their blood. It may be wired in their DNA that they are a shy person and do not particularly enjoy super social situations or environments where they have to be around many people. Sometimes it comes down to nature, and how we are hard-wired. And genetics may determine whether somebody is shy or not and how they act or feel in social situations - and it's hard to change how we act when our DNA says otherwise.

9. They're an introvert

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Being an introvert doesn't just mean that you are categorized as shy or as not enjoying social activities or situations. But as an introvert, you may react to stimuli and interactions differently in the way your brain processes them. For example, it is believed that as an introvert their energy is created from alone time or being in situations where there are few people. And so, an introvert may actually be more shy because they may have a preference for more quiet time in environments with fewer people.

10. They may have had bad past experiences

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Often how we act in the present depends on our past experiences, just as our present experiences depend on how we will act in the future. Each and every experience shapes us, even if we do not consciously realize it. When someone has bad experiences it will alter how we act in certain situations. For example, if a person has had bad experiences with people or in certain social settings it can make them feel shy as they are protecting themself from getting hurt in the future and they will not want to relive it.

11. They worry about being judged

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Most of us fear judgment in one capacity or another, whether it's judgment from close friends and family or judgments from strangers or even ourselves. Because people make judgments subconsciously all of the time (even ourselves) even if we do not realize it. When someone has a strong fear of being other people's judgment it can cause them to be shy because they do not want to put themselves in a situation where they could be judged, and where they may expose themselves to people thinking badly of them.

12. They are highly sensitive

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When somebody is highly sensitive it can mean that they perceive any slight jibe or criticism, or even what was intended to be a joke, in a negative way, They may take comments to heart and feel personally attacked by someone, even if that may not have been the intention at all. So if a person realizes that they are very sensitive they may avoid putting themselves in situations with others where they feel that they could possibly get hurt and so they may feel shy and retreat away from social environments.

13. They had super overprotective parents growing up

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Anyone who grew up with super protective parents knew that it was like being wrapped up in cotton wool. Someone with overly protective parents probably led a very sheltered childhood and they may not have been exposed to as many social experiences or events as an average child may usually be. And so growing up they may have felt that they lacked the experience of other people, and it can sometimes lead them to feel shy and out of their depth in social circumstances as they are not comfortable in these situations.

14. They have trust issues

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Trust issues are another big reason why some people are shy because they do not trust people. This lack of trust could be for a variety of reasons, but it will usually always affect how somebody views or responds to people in the future. If they do not trust people then being shy is a way to avoid too many people or situations in which they feel that they could have their trust broken again or that they could be betrayed in any way. In this case, being shy is a prerequisite to a lack of trust or it is a defense mechanism.

15. They were bullied

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Being bullied understandably leaves someone with traumas and mental scars that can affect how they view and interact with people for the rest of their life. When someone has been bullied it can be very difficult to have the same level of confidence around people. Their trust in people may have been broken, and so they may be shy as a result of being bullied in the past. Therefore, they may not be super outgoing or confident and may retreat into themselves because of what has happened in the past.

16. They constantly compare themselves

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Comparison has very wisely been dubbed 'the thief of happiness' due to the fact that when we compare ourselves to somebody else we are simply putting down our own self-worth by making unnecessary contrasts and placing more value on the things we don't have than what we do have. When we compare we are usually doing it in a way that undermines our own self and attributes, as though we are not as good as the person we are comparing ourselves to. When someone does this they can become shy as they feel inadequate in comparison to other people.

17. They don't have good social skills, such as being able to small talk

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For some people the thought of having to engage in small talk makes them cringe even just thinking about it. It takes a certain set of skills, specifically social skills, to be able to actively engage in these kinds of conversations. It may not sound like a skill, being able to talk about the weather or ask how someone's doing, but it is and certain people either have this ability or they don't or they may have to really work on it. When someone doesn't feel that they have the correct social skills it can make them shy as they do not know how to interact with many people.

18. They have shy parents

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When we're young and we're growing up it is our most impressionable stage of life. What we see and what we experience will change us forever. Our behavior at this stage is almost all learned by the people around us. And so, if our parents are shy as we grow up we will imitate that behavior, and we will adopt it too. Also, parents who are shy may not expose their child to social settings or social situations as much as is considered usual, due to their own personal preferences which may also make them more shy.

19. They focus on times they embarrassed themselves or felt embarrassed

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Every introvert ever will have a time that they look back on and cringe about how they once embarrassed themselves in front of someone, or even someone embarrassed themselves and they felt it second hand. Those memories stay with some people and cannot be 'brushed off' or laughed at as a funny memory and experience. For some people, these kinds of embarrassing experiences haunt people and make them feel shy in the future as they never want to put themselves in a situation where they can embarrass themselves ever again.

20. It's how their brain is wired

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There's the age long question, nature and nurture. Usually it's a combination of the two. But sometimes being shy really does have something to do with your brain. Some people are truly wired different when it comes to being an extrovert versus introvert. Studies show that being shy has something to do with how we are and how our bran works. For example, those with natural shy tendencies react differently to situations and react less positivity to social situations. So, perhaps some of us are just born shy?

21. They weren't socialized as a child

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Some kids are socialized very early on with play dates, days out and kids parties. Others aren't due to a variety of reason. Perhaps they have busy parents who don't have time to organize many social events. And, sometimes by the time a child goes to school they have already developed shy tendencies due to the fact they haven't been socialized as much. The first initial years are super important in helping our brains develop and establishing our social skills and even what we like and don't like.

22. They have a fear of performing

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We all know those people who were just BORN to perform. They instantly pull the attention to them as soon as they walk into a room and they know exactly how to work a crows. On the other hand, some people just aren't this naturally performative and it is difficult for them to act in a certain way around people. Things such as parties can be a nightmare for people who do not have these outgoing traits and have a fear of performing in front of people in case they are required to dance or sing or anything of the kind

23. They're just not a people person

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Look, of course, everyone likes at least some people, for example, their nearest and dearest that are close to them and they love. But not everyone is a huge people person or interested in meeting and engaging with new people. So someone who is shy may just not seek out the company or people as much as someone else might do. These people may prefer to be alone, to just be with their close circle, or to be with animals! They may be shy simply because they don't like a lot of people or they are more fussy about who they want to spend their time with!

24. They feel inferior

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Some people have an inferiority complex where they for some reason just don't feel good enough or they don't feel as good as other people. Although this is never the case, as nobody is better than anybody else, the feeling is just as real and impactful. It can prevent someone from being outgoing and bubbly because instead they might act shy and restart inwards as they feel inferior to others. It can inhibit someone's confidence massively and the way they act and engage with other people which can deter somebody from forming as many relationships with people as they may want to.

25. They may have a physical or language barrier

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Sometimes people are shy because they feel that they have a barrier of some kind. For example, they may have a physical barrier or a language barrier which makes them find it more difficult to be able to communicate and therefore socialize in larger groups. People with language difficulties may find it easier to converse on an individual level, but feeling as though they can't communicate with a larger group may make them feel shy because it feels a lot more difficult for them to join in conversations.

26. They get easily overwhelmed

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Some shy people find that they get very easily overwhelmed or more easily overwhelmed than other people in social settings. For example, for some people, certain sights, sounds, or loud noises and exposure to a lot of stimuli can lead some people to feel drained and overwhelmed which in turn makes that person feel shy being around too many people. Being shy isn't a choice for people and it is usually caused by something that makes a person feel uncomfortable in social situations which can make them retreat.

27. They do not have many social connections

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Often, being shy can mean that you have fewer social connections because you may be less outgoing as a person and less likely to go up to new people and start chatting or mingling at social events. And therefore you may have fewer social connections. But also, sometimes people feel shy because they do not have many social connections or a large group of friends. And so they do not feel as though they have the support of others and they may feel as though they are less confident and more shy because they don't have a huge social group!

28. They feel like they don't fit in

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Being shy can be a result of someone being in their head about who they are and how well they fit in. Fitting in doesn't matter as nobody has to be the same as other people. But, for someone who feels different or doesn't feel that they don't fit in, they may avoid social situations because they feel that they will stand out in a negative way or they may feel like they will not have anything in common with other people. As a result, people can feel shy because they do not feel the same as other people!

29. They are a perfectionist

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For somebody who is a perfectionist, every little thing has to be done right and exactly the way they wanted it. For a perfectionist, they will not rest until everything is 'perfect'. But this places such huge pressure on every element of their life. Because not only do they want to perfect projects or work, but they also want to perfect themselves. And nobody can control what anybody else thinks. So a perfectionist may be shy because they feel other people not seeing them in the way that they want to be perceived.

30. They have a fear of being vulnerable

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Sometimes people feel more vulnerable being in social situations and environments because they feel more exposed. They may feel as though they are making themselves more open to vulnerability whether on a personal level or social level. Because really, when we open ourselves up to new situations with new people we are more vulnerable in many different ways; from judgment, from being disliked, from being hurt. And some people want to protect themselves from this and it leads to them being shy rather than super outgoing.