Psychological Tips To Read People’s Minds

1. Are they mirroring what you do?

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There is a scientific term called limbic synchrony, that quite literally means being 'in sync'. Psychologists tells us that mirroring someone else is what we do when we like that person or are interested in them. It's a non-verbal way to show that we are connected with that person and a way to show emotions like empathy. So if you cross your arms and the person sitting opposite from you crosses theirs too, then it tells you they are open and receptive to what you're saying and that they have taken an interest.

2. Pay attention if they fidget

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Fidgeting is one trait that will always give people away if we are trying to figure someone out and read their mind. It is associated with a lack of attention and boredom. It is your body's way of trying to stay engaged when it's feeling restless. If you are in a conversation with someone and they start touching their face or fiddling with their jewellery which is common with women, then it tells you they are not interested in what you are saying or just in you in general! It can, however, also signify stress or anxiety, so use this trick alongside the others to get to the bottom of it.

3. Are they biting their nails?

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Someone biting their nails is a clear giveaway in a lot of situations. Biting your nails = stress, whether you know it or not. We bite our nails when we are uncomfortable, stressed or anxious. A lot of people do it without even realising, so if you clock it happening during a conversation, try and steer it away to another topic. Look out for them stopping the biting as you move on to another topic - it can be very satisfying! Similarly, a clenched jaw or furrowed brow can tell you that a person is stressed too.

4. Look where their feet are pointing

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So it has been reported that the direction people's feet are pointing can actually tell you a lot about how they are feeling! If their feet are pointing towards you then that means you are welcome to be around them and they are subconsciously letting you know that. If you enter a group of people and their feet are all pointing away from you and no one changes their position to point towards you, then you are probably not welcome amongst that group! Psychologically, people will point their feet in the direction they want to go in i.e in the direction (or person) they are interested in.

5. Listen to your gut

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Your gut never lies to you! Especially when it comes to first impressions so you should know to always trust your gut! Before you have even had time to psychologically process any information or cues witnessed your gut will give you your visceral reaction and you should listen to it. Your gut feelings occur pretty must instantly and they are a primal response. It has been described as your 'internal truth meter' which we love as it really does tell you whether you should trust a person or not!

6. Practice makes perfect

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Practice makes perfect in every aspect of life, and reading someones mind is no exception. You should take your time to study people and make accurate assessments and over time you will excel. Using the TV can be a great training tool. You can watch the TV on mute and try using only facial expressions and physical movements to try and get a read on what is happening. You can then rewatch it with the volume on and see if you are right. These training exercises will make reading people in real life super easy!

7. Watch for their legs shaking

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Experts have concluded with extensive research that shaking legs means anxious thoughts. Legs are often the largest part of us, but they generally go unnoticed! Possibly hidden underneath a table a lot of the time, it means we are missing some vital clues about how someone might be feeling. Sometimes people don't even know their legs are shaking and it is a subconscious reaction to anxiety. They certainly won't expect this reaction to be registered and interpreted the way you will now interpret it.

8. Have an open mind

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You are never going to be able to read anyone else's mind if you don't first have an open mind yourself! This involves not letting your emotions influence your impressions and opinions of people. If you judge someone too easily then it will cause you to misread them and then you will end up way off the mark. Experts have said that logic alone won't allow you to know the whole story about someone, so you must take into account all the verbal and non-verbal cues, but you can't do that if you have already labelled someone!

9. Pay attention to people's appearances

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Someone's appearance and the way they present themselves can tell you SO much abut that person. This includes what they're wearing also also how they have done their make up or hair. Are they immaculately well dressed every time you see them? This could mean they are ambitious and dressed for success. Maybe they always wear a pendant such as a cross to tell you that their religion is always at the forefront of their mind. Someone with tattoos has chosen to tell you about them using art of their body - take note!

10. Take note of people's posture

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The attitude of a person displays itself mostly in their posture so this is a great thing to take note of when you're trying to get inside of someone's head. Having their head held high displays confidence, whereas hunched shoulders and an indecisive walk can show you that they have low self-esteem. Never let any one sign on this list mislead you though, as people are also very good at faking it. So that person who looks like they belong on a catwalk might show some other of these traits that actually make you think they are actually quite insecure deep down.

11. Watch people's movements

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Not everyone is very good at expressing their feelings as words, so their physical movements can tell you more about what they are actually trying to say. For example, if we like someone we tend to lean towards them and if we don't like them, we would lean away like we are putting up a wall. Someone who is biting their lips is probably trying to soothe themselves if they are feeling anxious or awkward. Picking their finger nails or crossing their arms or legs are other examples of how you can interpret someones movements to give you a clue what they're thinking.

12. Interpret their facial expressions

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Some people have a really good poker face, but that is rare and generally a skill that's been honed over many years. We display a lot more of our emotions on our face than we probably realise! Frown lines on the forehead tends to suggest that someone is worried or that they are overthinking, but on the other hand 'crow's feet' suggest that the person is genuinely laughing. Someone who is angry might purse their lip, grind their teeth or clench their jaw because of any irritation and tension that they're feeling.

13. Embrace the small talk

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Small talk might not be your favourite thing, but if you want to be able to read someone's mind, you better get on board! It gives you an opportunity to familiarise yourself with the other person and also them with you. It will let you observe how they behave in a normal situation before you start putting them on the spot with some direct questions. Doing it like this will give you a benchmark so you can spot any behaviours that might appear out of the ordinary. Getting this baseline is one thing most people forget to do!

14. Do they cross their legs?

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Crossing your legs while having a conversation with someone suggests that you don't agree with what they are saying. You might be the one crossing your legs, and don't understand the true meaning of why you are doing it, or maybe it's the person opposite you crossing their legs while you're chatting. You might be having a perfectly pleasant conversation or discussion, but them crossing their legs in front of you is a hint that they aren't quite singing from the same song sheet as you in their mind.

15. Do they cross their arms?

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Crossing you arms is even more deliberate and intimidating, would you believe. It is a display of intimidation. Someone crossing their arms while talking to you means that they really want you to know that they do not agree and they are trying to make you feel threatened. Combine this with the way their body is facing and you will get an even fuller picture. If someone crosses their arms over their body and then proceeds to angle themselves away from you - be warned! This person is really not liking what you're saying to them.

16. Observe their overall behaviour

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Like we have said a few times, all these actions and signs must be put together in context. Any isolated action might lead you to the wrong conclusion! You might make an assumption that isn't necessarily true. If you aren't familiar with someone and they look down at the floor, you could assume it means they are anxious and can't maintain your eye contact, but in reality if you were already familiar with their behaviour you would know this actually means they feel relaxed around you, emphasising why the baseline is important!

17. Look out for excessive nodding

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Nodding can almost be like a twitch for some people. Excessive nodding can happen when they are feeling uneasy or anxious about whatever you have just said or asked them to do. In the world of psychology, excessive nodding is a real giveaway to someone's mental state. If you have just given a set of instructions, they are probably doubting their ability to follow those instructions whether that is the true reality or not. You should recognise this sign and try phrasing things in a different way that might help them out.

18. Ask direct questions

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If you give someone a chance to wriggle out of answering your questions, chances are they will take it! So don't give them that opportunity. Always ask questions that can only be answered with a straight answer, after you have lured them in with all the small talk of course. You can take the answer that they give in addition to all the other non-verbal cues you will be naturally picking up on and use it to form your conclusion. This could help you to determine if someone is lying or not in certain situations.

19. Pay attention to the words and tones used

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You should always take a mental note of the words people are choosing to use - they can give a lot away! "This is my second promotion" is a person wanting you to know that they have had a promotion previously and is probably being said like this to impress you. They are hoping you will respond with compliments and they will get a little boost out of it. The tone of someones voice can also give you a lot of information. If their tone is abrasive or snappy, then they might be a little bit annoyed at you...

20. Never make assumptions

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It should go without saying, but we should never make assumptions as it can lead to misunderstandings. We have already said that we need to use all of these tips in context and in addition to each other, never in isolation. You can cause yourself a lot of trouble if you make assumptions about a person without even knowing them. If you have assumed someone is angry, then anything they say or do you will misconstrue as being angry, when in actual fact you might have been wrong in the first place.

21. Feel the goosebumps!

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Goosebumps are another reaction that our body does involuntarily. It happens when something registers with us emotionally. Scientifically, we get goosebumps when we are cold as a response to try and warm ourselves. However, it's not just being cold that can bring them, it can happen when we are moved emotionally and it can be from anything. Something someone said to you or maybe a piece of music. Additionally, we can get goosebumps during a 'deja-vu; situation. Make sure you get the hint if you get goosebumps around someone!

22. Sense the person's presence

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We all have a sixth sense for how someone is feeling, we just don't all utilise it! If you really want to know what's going on in someone's mind then you need to get a feel for their overall emotional state and you can generally do this by reading the aura around them. When you are trying to read people, try to notice if they give off a friendly presence that makes you feel as though you can approach them, or alternatively if it feels like you are hitting a brick wall like they have their defences up.

23. Watch their eyes

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It has been said that our eyes are the windows to our souls - and they very much are! Our eyes can give off powerful energy and huge clues when you're trying to read someone's mind. Therefore, you should take the time to observe someone's eyes. Do they look mean and angry? Or do they look caring? You can tell from someone's eyes if they are lying or telling the truth if you become well practiced enough. Not only that, the size of our pupils get bigger when we like something, so this can give us another clue as to what they are thinking!

24. Listen to those flashes of insight

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By a flash of insight, we mean those 'ah-ha!' moments that you get. Specifically the ones you get when you are around someone. This is another subconscious response from your body trying to give you a clue about that person or another nudge form your 'internal truth meter'. We can sometimes miss these flashes if we move on to the next thought too quickly and they get lost in the noise of your brain. This is your reminder to keep a watch for any insight your clever brain and subconscious are trying to send you!

25. Raising their eyebrows can tell you a lot

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Another act that can be interpreted as quite a defensive move is a person raising their eyebrows. It can mean many different emotions, like being surprised, worried or scared. It can also be used a little sarcastically... and this is what to look out for. Someone raising their eyebrows while you are talking to them can signify that they are not comfortable with the conversations. That could be because of you or the topic and it could be genuine or because they simply don't like you or what you have to say.

26. Look carefully when they smile at you

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Wrinkles tell the story or our lives and they should be embraced! They can also give us a clue as to whether a smile is genuine or not... If someone is faking a smile then it won't reach their eyes. It will be a tight-lipped, fake looking smile. A genuine, happy smile will cause wrinkles around the eyes, 'crows feet' or 'laughter lines', and they will let you know that this smile is real. This kind of sign can indicate whether this person is actually being truthful with you or if it is a bit of an act.

27. Do they clench their jaw?

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A clenched jaw happens subconsciously to everyone, and is generally a sign of irritation or when you find yourself in a stressful situation. When your thoughts are elsewhere and you feel generally 'wound up', you can often clench your jaw without realising. It will need to be consciously 'unclenched' when you do notice and can be a real issue for someone people if they have a stressful job and it happens a lot. Take note of this sign in people as they are telling you how they really feel in that moment.

28. Look at their palms

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Palm gestures are separate to hand gestures and can be less easily faked but more subtle to notice, so will take some practice. If palms are facing upwards then that person is willing and open to whatever you are talking about. If the palms are facing down then they are either not happy with you or trying to assert some dominance. You should try and take notes of people's hands and palms when talking to them as you may be rubbings someone up the wrong way and not even realise. At the very least it will give you a clue as to what they are interested in and what they are not.

29. Look how close they are to you

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Personal space is a biggie. Standing in close proximity to someone that you either don't know or don't like can be very daunting and the natural reaction is the put some distance between you and that person. On the other hand, if you start a conversation with someone and they move closer to you to respond and engage then you know they are happy to continue with that conversation and are intrigued by what you have to say. If you notice someone backing away from you then take the hint that they do not want to be near you.

30. You only need to see half of their face...

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Another hint to determine whether someone is trying to show you fake emotions is to watch what their whole

face is doing. If one side of their face is more active than the other, then they are probably faking that emotion. If it is genuine, their whole face will be alive and engaged and you will truly know where you stand then. The best tricks to reading people's minds is to watch for these types of subconscious reactions that the person being observed won't even be aware that they are doing. These tell us the most.

31. Always consider the context

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There are a lot of general rules about reading people, understanding their body language and trying to get down to their way of thinking. For the most part, generalization with obvious things like 'they have their arms folded and they're frowning' meaning that they're probably annoyed or closed off is a correct assumption, but it's always important to understand the context of a situation to better read a person's mind with it. For example, a person might be staring at you or giving too much eye contact because you have something on your face. It could be a cultural thing where body language gestures are considered differently, or they're folding their arms because they're just cold!

32. Learn a particular person's cues

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If you want to really delve deep into learning what a person is thinking, it's much better to get to know one person's series of cues over time, rather than try and pick up on a million different things at once in a room full of people. This can be best done with one on one conversations you keep having with the same person over time, like a work colleague. You can read people better when you notice the nonverbal cues they always give, as a certain reaction to a certain something. Four cues together, for example, as opposed to just one random one can let you know more certainly what they're thinking.

33. Focus on cues shown in GOOD situations

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When you're trying to read a person's mind or learn what they're thinking, there's a lot of focus on this in bad or negative situations. You can get hung up on a stressful situation, thinking a person doesn't like you because they're folding their arms, facing away from you or frowning etc., so one of the best ways to read someone's mind is to know how they behave in a good situation. Because if they still fold their arms and frown in a positive situation where they're laughing, that tells you more about how they think. You'll then see the 'new' cues they do in bad versus good moments.

34. Look at their home/life

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We obviously mean this in a way that's open, and if you have access to this person's personal life, like if it's a friend you're trying to read better. If you regularly get invited around to their home or get glimpses into their personal life, this is a great way to get to know them when there guard is down and can then help you to know what they're thinking in other situations. There may be clues in their home about how their mind works and what they think about certain things, even down to their choice or ornament or artwork.

35. You have to separate personal feelings

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If you're hoping to clearly read a person and have their mind be an open book to you, you need to be completely objective. That means you can't let personal feelings or bias get in the way of how you're judging a situation, or how they're acting. If you don't like a person, for example, you might be seeing everything they're doing and saying in a more negative light, which can lead you to take their body language cues or anything else as less positive than you might do with someone else - even if they're the exact same cue! So you'll need to let that go to openly read them.

36. Think about how your own behavior is affecting them

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If you're hoping to read a person more openly, chances are you're engaging in a lot of interaction, making conversation or having one on one time. And during this time, it's important to be aware that your behavior can actually be affecting how they're responding, their body language or their cues. So you might think their body language is telling you they don't like you much, or they're uncomfortable, when actually they might really like you in general but you've done or said something in that moment that made them confused.

37. Remember that expressions don't always reflect real feelings

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In learning how to read people and their minds better, know that you shouldn't take everything at face value. While expressions can definitely tell you how a person is thinking or feeling, that doesn't mean they can always be trusted. How many of us have plastered on a smile when we feel stressed or tired? Or have been frowning at something in concentration only for our face to look like we're super angry about something? Sometimes people will put on fake expressions that don't match their real mood, so you can't always take expressions of happiness, anger or sadness at - literally - face value!

38. The voice can tell you a whole lot more, too

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Sometimes people can get very hung up on facial expressions, body language and the words the person is using when they're trying to understand better what that person might be thinking. But remember that tone of voice and how

that person says something can actually tell you a huge deal more. We know, of course, that you can say the same thing two different ways and have it mean two different things, which means it's not always about the words. So pay attention to emotion in  the voice, and - better still - whether the emotion matches the words they're saying, and their face expression!

39. Pauses and speed can mean a lot, too

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And when you're trying to learn to read people better, you can also pick up on their speech delivery, in terms of how long they're taking and pauses they might take. This can all tell you a lot about the way a person's mind works and what they might be thinking while they're speaking. You should watch out for their breathing (quick or slow) when they're talking, whether they take a lot of pauses (it could mean they're worried or upset) and whether they're talking very slow or fast (slow could mean tired/stressed, fast could mean excited and happy).

40. The voice can tell you other things, too

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If you really want to learn more about how to read a person in particular, the more you can get them talking - or overhear them in conversations - the better. This is because there is so much that can be learned by how they're talking. Extroverts, for example, will likely answer a lot more quickly, and at a more excitable tone, than introverts. Lower pitched voices have been linked in studies to certain personality traits, like more dominance. People who are quite judgemental may speak slower and louder than who they're talking to!

41. Pay attention to their choice of words

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This might seem really obvious, but we don't just mean 'listen to what they're saying' as an obvious way to get into their head. We mean specifically the choice of words they use to express a thought or feeling. There's a lot that you can tell about a person based on the words they choose to describe something, whether a feeling or a situation. For example, you're trying to get into your colleague's head who you don't know that well. You ask why they took the job. They say "we thought it would help with money". The 'we' implies they have a partner, and it could also imply they didn't make that decision themselves. 'Help' with money could also suggest they have money issues, or worry about money, rather than 'we thought it'd be a good income', which sounds more positive.

42. Pay attention to posture when they think nobody is looking

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A person can often alter their posture in a way that they want to be perceived by others, like we mentioned earlier about someone walking like a supermodel with a straight posture when they might actually be insecure. For this reason, a good way to read people can be to take a look at what their posture is doing when they don't think anyone is watching. We don't mean in a creepy way, but if it's in a public place like a cafe or in the workspace and they've left a conversation to focus on something else, has their posture changed? Does the person you see walking in with a straight back every morning and a powerful pose suddenly slump over their desk and hold their arms across their chest?

43. The head tilt

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When dogs do it, it's adorable - when humans do it, it can actually be a huge indicator of what's going on in there! How they incline or tilt their head is a huge part of reading body language and can give a lot away through a simple gesture. Tilting can go any which way, really, and you can get a sense of a pattern the more you talk to a person. The general rule can be that people tilt their head up to the sky when happy or excited, and tilt it down when discussing something negative or upsetting. They might tilt their head to the side when confused or trying to listen closer to something.

44. A pattern in the nodding

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We mentioned that excessive nodding can be an indication that someone is anxious about something or worried about the task at hand. Nodding can also reveal other things in regard to a person's personality. A person can often nod more when they're talking to a figure of authority, or trying to 'look up' to someone they respect. So you might be able to tell what they think about people based on how often they see them nodding. If they nod a lot at you when you're talking, but don't seem anxious, this could be that they see you as an authority figure or think of you with respect.

45. Catch them in moments they genuinely smile/laugh

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If you want to get better at reading a person's smile or knowing whether they're actually genuinely laughing or smiling at you, or whether they're faking it, try to pay attention to them in other moments that don't involve you where they seem to be genuinely laughing or smiling. You might spot them on the phone to a loved one like their mom who they always laugh with - it's rare if they're faking something like that. You can then compare this to how they laugh and smile at you, as usually you can tell if it seems forced compared to what you saw them do in the other situation!

46. Look at accessory choices

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Clothing and outfits can give away a lot about a person - but even more so can the seemingly simple accessory choices. Even the choice not to wear accessories at all is a choice in itself! All of this can reveal a lot about a person and about how their mind works. Have you seen a person wearing a ridiculously expensive watch with a ridiculously expensive suit? They obviously think looks matter and have money to show off. Have you seen a person wearing an expensive watch with cheap and frayed clothes? Does this imply the watch came from a time when they had money and they're still proud of it, even if they're going through something different now? A person wearing the same necklace every single day, too, could mean it has meaning.

47. Look at their hand movements overall

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We spoke about the importance of paying attention to the palms specifically - but the whole of the hand and its movements can tell a story, too! You'll want to watch the way their hands move in conversations, and how they're using their hands as they're speaking. Someone more confident is more likely to use their hands in an open way to 'talk with their hands'. Someone anxious might fiddle or even push them down between their knees while they speak. Someone fiddling with something or tapping their fingers might be thinking about something, or taking on board what you're saying.

48. Watch their walk

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This isn't actually about posture this time - it's about the general way a person can walk. The way a person walks is actually controlled so little by the person. We all know that we don't have much control over what we look like when we're walking, and it's very easy to think you look one way and then see yourself on video and think 'Do I really walk like that??' That's also why it's a giveaway for how a person's mind works. Walking fast can indicate an outgoing person, walking slow can indicate an introverted person. How the head is held (up and open or down and avoiding eye contact) can tell you a lot. Where the arms are placed or moving can show an openness or a closed-off person.

49. Legs reveal a lot

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We don't just mean the leg shaking or crossing, but literally every little thing a leg does in terms of how the person chooses to position them, move them, place their hand on them, sit down, stand up... So much can be said by the legs by saying nothing at all, if you want to a read a person! Do they push their legs together under the table with knees locked? It could be a sign of anxiety. Do they lean on one leg when standing up? Could be a sign they're feeling relaxed. Do they always have their hands pressed against their legs when they're standing, sitting or walking? This could be because they're self-conscious about something.

50. Look at their shoes!

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It's amazing how much a pair of shoes can tell you about a person, too! And when you're so preoccupied by reading their facial expression, you might never have thought to look at what they're wearing on their feet! Shoes, down to the size, new-ness, color and material can all say a lot. A casual, comfortable shoe can show a laid-back and stable person. A very bright and flashy shoe can show boldness. A shabby pair of shoes that look very cheap could say a lot of things - either someone who doesn't take care of themselves, or someone who puts money in other places.