Here Is How White Lies Can Ruin Lives

1. Telling small lies makes you prone to lie more often

Image Source: Reddit

According to most experts, a lie is a lie, no matter how big or small. By this theory, small lies or white lies are not as harmless as we might think. The reality of it is that if we allow ourselves to become comfortable with telling small lies, it will become easier to allow ourselves to tell BIG lies! Then our moral and ethical obligations become distorted. If you want to be a person of integrity, then you should practice telling the truth at all times. Scientific experts say that white lies actually desensitize the part of our brain that makes us feel uncomfortable when we lie!

2. They make you a less authentic person

Image Source: Reddit

Being authentic and genuine is something that we value a lot in friendships and partnerships. When you tell small lies, even if they seem trivial, you are living part of your life in dishonesty. While it might not seem like that big of a deal, you're actually sacrificing part of your true self. Even in that small area, you are wearing a mask rather than presenting your true beliefs and opinions. This small inauthenticity will begin to pour into other parts of your life and create a disunity of self. This will slowly erode your relationships.

3. It makes the truth a shade of grey

Image Source: Reddit

When you bend the truth for your small lies, it implies that the truth can be bent, and it isn't a black and white thing. It implies that we can manipulate it to shape it to be whatever we want it to be. This erodes the integrity of truth. While it won't always be comfortable, and it will sometimes even be painful, we should be exemplifying how we bend ourselves to the truth rather than the other way around. Otherwise truth is soft and malleable, instead of what we should look to as the north star.

4. Everything you've said before will be called into question

Image Source: Reddit

When people start to realize that you tell small lies consistently to get through life, not only will they start to question what you say in the future, they will also replay EVERYTHING you've said and done in the past. This is especially true of close family, friends, and partners. They will do a play-by-play of things you've said before and call them into question to scrutinize whether or not you were being truthful then. Telling a lie and keeping up with the lies is essentially a full-time job that you don't want to have!

5. AND, your relationships will be called into question

Image Source: Reddit

We'll be talking about various components of this throughout this list, but one of the wildest things about small lies is the way people begin to question the entirety of their relationship with you. We don't just mean whether or not you're telling them the truth, but rather, is the entire relationship a lie or fabricated. It becomes impossible for people to figure out which parts of you are authentic and which parts are lying, so the entire relationship will be called into question. Was everything you experienced together fake?

6. Your partner might fall out of love with you

Image Source: Reddit

The harsh reality is that when lies exist, it makes it virtually impossible for true love to grow. Unconditional love requires truth and vulnerability. When you're caught in lies, you're not being honest, and it becomes difficult for your partner to be honest with you because the trust is broken. Whenever love stops being real, then it's no longer benefiting either person in the relationship. Your lies will only quicken this process, because it will quickly erode the trust that the two of you once shared.

7. White lies flaw your character

Image Source: Reddit

Similar to what we touched on in regards to being an authentic person, when you tell small lies, it affects the nature of your character. This is a big deal! Your character is made up of all the virtues and integrities that you possess, and dishonesty takes away from that value. This goes beyond your perceived personality into the core of who you are and the measure of your character. Why would you want to degrade who you are to tell a trivial lie that could have easily been avoided with some thoughtfulness?

8. Lies can damage your reputation in the workplace

Image Source: Reddit

Even if you think that a small lie is inconsequential, if the lie is found out, it could really end up damaging your reputation in the workplace. When it comes to matters of business, even if you think you'll never be found out, business partners look for integrity and honesty above virtually anything else! So before you tell that small lie to perhaps cover up a small mistake you made, be sure to rethink your actions and choose to take the road of integrity rather than the one of convenience. It might be uncomfortable, but it will serve you well in the long run!

9. Truth is vital to maintain the integrity of our society

Image Source: Reddit

That may sound super heavy or even over the top. But according to experts, honesty and transparency are critical to maintain the morals of our society - regardless of the situation, you should be bringing truth to the table whenever you can. Transparency, especially in business, is one of the top things that consumers look for. As soon as you've lost their trust, everything else goes out the window. And research shows that once that trust is gone, it's almost impossible to get back without a major rebrand.

10. It makes you into a selfish person

Image Source: Reddit

Lying, whether the lie is a big one or a small one, is virtually always done to protect your own interests above everything else. You might tell yourself that it's to avoid hurting someone's feelings, but in reality, it's to avoid you having to say something in a way that is truthful but respectful and having a real conversation with that person. So every time you go to lie, you are basically asking what it does for YOU and how it benefits YOU and no one else. This will inherently make you more selfish in all aspects of your life, because you're always looking out for you.

11. We lose our sense of boundaries

Image Source: Reddit

The truth brings boundaries into our lives whether we realize it or not. It provides us with a moral and ethical code. Did you know that it's actually EASIER to live within boundaries than to have none? Think of a playground near a busy road that is unfenced. You'd probably be worried for your child's safety, but if there are guardrails up to protect your child from the road, you'll feel more at ease with them playing. When we take away the boundaries of truth, it becomes harder and harder to put them back up.

12. You'll leave people feeling betrayed

Image Source: Reddit

Those close to you will be incredibly hurt when they find out that you have not been genuine with them. While you may have saved yourself some discomfort in that particular moment, overall, you have made those around you feel sad or dumb for believing what you told them. What a horrible way to make someone feel! These feelings will eventually lead to holes in the relationship that are impossible to mend. It's way better to be open and honest with how you're feeling, even if it may cause some emotional conversations at the time.

13. You'll stop growing and building in your life

Image Source: Reddit

When your friends or family or partner might be feeling insecure or vulnerable, they're looking for transparency and truth from you. If you messed up, they're hoping for some accountability and responsibility to be shown from you. When you choose to lie instead, you will no longer be a reliable source for that person. You will be taking bricks away from the building blocks of your relationship rather than adding to them. It really comes down to what type of life you want to lead... one of building and growth or one of destruction.

14. You never know when it will catch up with you

Image Source: Reddit

The thing with small lies is that they create a false sense of security for you. You feel like you've told a half-truth, and more importantly, that you've gotten away with it! If no one got hurt, then it can't possibly be bad, right? But the reality is, you might find yourself starting to live in anxiety and fear with the more lies you tell. Some have said that their lies didn't catch up with them for over 20 years. Can you imagine having to live your life in constant fear that you're going to be found out?

15. It will be hard for people to take you at your word

Image Source: Reddit

It makes sense that if you tell a lot of little lies, it will become hard for people to trust you. Every time a lie comes to light (and trust us, it eventually will), even if the lie seemed small at the time, it serves as an indicator to other people in your world that you are not true to your word. It means that you are willing to bend the truth if you deem it acceptable in that circumstance. So then, no matter what you say, big or small, people will start to question it. This is not a good place to be in!

16. In fact, the truth becomes hazy to you

Image Source: Reddit

Every time you choose to compromise or manipulate the truth, it just means that the truth is slowly starting to slip away. As we mentioned, even little lies trick your brain, so over time, you start to lose track of what is the truth. Being dishonest brings a toxicity into your life and eventually you start to view this as no big deal. It takes away the shame and embarrassment that often comes with disregarding the truth. You will find yourself becoming indifferent towards truth and lies, and that's a scary place to be!

17. This will cause people to doubt you

Image Source: Reddit

To expand on this even further, when trust becomes a problem, then the doubt starts to build. If you are found to lie about small things, people will begin to question you in all areas, even when you ARE telling the truth. Once this starts, it will slowly eat away at your relationships, because the doubt has been put in their minds. You will find yourself becoming more and more isolated as the lies continue to build. You might find that they take away responsibilities from you at work, because they doubt your follow through. It will start to snowball and become a big issue.

18. Even positive words will be brought into question

Image Source: Reddit

Perhaps one of the saddest parts about becoming someone who tells small lies often is that even your positive truths will no longer be taken at face value. While we've already discussed how it will be harder for people to take you at your word, this pours out even further into your relationship with your partner. Your words slowly become meaningless, so even things like "I love you" or "You look beautiful" are called into question, because your partner doesn't know what to believe from you. Sad.

19. You'll have no problem asking others to lie for you

Image Source: Reddit

You might be thinking, "Wait a minute! I would never ask someone to lie for me." But we've probably all been guilty of asking someone to say "Tell them I'm not here" or "Tell them I can't come to the phone." Oof, definitely guilty. It might seem so insignificant, but you're actually asking others to be dishonest for you. While these lies might not harm anyone in the immediacy, it's sowing bigger seeds of dishonesty! You don't want to have others bend the truth for you. There are ways to be honest and respectful.

20. Everyone will eventually find out

Image Source: Reddit

Maybe you think you can get away with one little lie at work and your personal life will not be affected. Or maybe it's the other way where you think you can lie to your partner, but at work, you'll be the utmost respected person on the team. It unfortunately doesn't work that way. In today's society with access to social media and mobile phones, word tends to spread fast. Our personal lives affect our work and visa versa, even if we don't want them to. This means that you could quickly find your life in shambles if you start telling strings of lies.

21. The foundation of your life will start to crack

Image Source: Reddit

Let's talk about trust a little more in depth for a second. The reality is that trust is fragile. It can be broken relatively easily, and it certainly doesn't take much to start chipping away at it. White lies, even if you think you're really good at them, start to give way to suspicion and then mistrust. You are telling the small lies because they benefit you. The foundation that you've built with work or your partner or any other aspect of your life will slowly start to chip away until you have nothing left.

22. The term "white lie" is problematic

Image Source: Reddit

When we use the term white lie for those small little lies that people tell, it suggests that white lies are not as wrong or somehow more justifiable than a BIG lie. This enforces the idea that whiteness and goodness are one and the same. We know it seems wild to link this term to racial implications, but it's worth mentioning, because these "trivial" lies are anything but, and this term needs to be retired! Just tell the truth in a respectful way and everyone in your world will be better off for it!

23. It will be basically impossible to get things back to normal

Image Source: Reddit

This is one of those situations where the lie seems small at the start, but all the sudden you find yourself in a place where everything is crumbling. While you may realize the error of your ways, it will be practically impossible to build things back up to the way they were. People no longer look at you as a safe space or someone they can depend on. When that trust is broken, it's incredibly hard to restore it to what it once was, and for some, it may never be able to be mended. Telling lies, even small ones, is a very lonely way to live.

24. It creates a slippery slope

Image Source: Reddit

We've touched on this a bit already, but to expand on it, when we choose to rate the lies we tell by how big or small they are, it's always to benefit us. The sliding scale that we use might feel harmless, but we promise you it's not. Where is the line between a small lie and a big lie? Does it depend on how much it benefits us? When does it slide into the "bad" lie territory? The scale is biased to our own outlooks on life, so it's easy for things to go from seemingly small to big very quickly, and there's often no turning back.

25. It could lead to a break-up

Image Source: 

Twitter

Based on the things we've already discussed, it's not surprising that being caught in little white lies can cause the end of your romantic relationships. Perhaps you started telling small lies because you thought it was in the best interest of your partner, rather than finding ways to be truthful with love. But the reality is, these lies will have the opposite effect and put distance between the two of you. Being with a liar is exhausting, and respect and trust are vital to a healthy relationship.

26. You're showing people you value dishonesty

Image Source: Buzzfeed

This is especially important to be mindful of if you have children. But when you make trivial lies acceptable, you kids will take notice! Not to mention your work colleagues, family, and friends. It shows people that you would rather avoid discomfort or inconvenience by choosing dishonesty. This isn't a great example to set for your kids, because you're essentially telling them that the truth will bring you discomfort, so it's okay to avoid that by lying. Not exactly a strong message to leave with your kids!

27. Your partner won't look at you the same

Image Source: Reddit

This maybe goes without saying based on the other things we've talked about, but when you start to tell small lies, it will deeply affect your romantic relationships. If your partner finds out that you are telling these half-truths, they won't be able to look at you the same way. It is a breach of trust, because they feel like you were one person at the start of the relationship, and now they view you as a liar. This could eventually put the whole relationship into question, because relationships are built on trust.

28. They make values less... valuable

Image Source: 

Twitter

Not to sound super old-school, but it seems like this current culture is to do whatever makes you happy regardless of how it might affect others. Values aren't as valuable as they used to be. When you degrade the truth by telling small lies, it's yet another way that you are taking away the value of your values. Is your mind blown, haha? It just means that you are making morality something that you only choose when it's convenient, rather than a foundation for your way of living. You're choosing to put your own convenience over that of others' well-being.

29. A lie is a lie is a lie

Image Source: Reddit

We can assign a color or cute name to our lies, but that doesn't make them any less of a lie. As we've stated, when you tell small lies, it makes a habit out of bending the truth. Why justify dishonesty in any shape or form? Because, at the end of the day, do you really believe there's a moral difference between someone who tells one big lie once compared to someone who tells small lies throughout the day every day for their entire life? White lies are a virus that take away from who we are and devalue those we care about.

30. It's better to be truthful and respectful

Image Source: Reddit

Sometimes, you feel like you have to tell a small lie in order to not hurt someone's feelings. But the reality is, even these types of lies can end up to be harmful. Being truthful and respectful IS possible, it just requires more effort and creativity than lying your way out of something. For example, if someone makes something for you that you don't like, all you have to say is "thank you for thinking of me" or "it was so nice of you to give me this." That way you will not be hurting their feelings nor will you be proclaiming to love something you don't. You don't have to be mean, but you can be truthful!