12 Ways To Tame A Naughty Child

By Juliet Smith 1 year ago

Treats and rewards

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I think we can all agree that as children some of the best days were when you were given something you wanted for so long. This is why even if your child is showing difficult behavior, treating them to a fun day out or a toy can be beneficial. It helps stop the boredom and means they’ll be happy for the reward of something out of their daily routine.

The naughty step

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The naughty step may sound like the ultimate harsh punishment for a child when they are having a temper tantrum, but it can be a good way to calm them down. Basically, taking time away from the situation allows the child to relax and also reflect on what they were crying about originally. It also gives you time to calm down before speaking about the issue.

Assertive words

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It is important that your child respects you and listens when you have something to say about their behavior. This is why your tone of voice can be beneficial for the child to understand they have done something wrong. It also gives you the opportunity to say, in an assertive, clear way, exactly what they have done wrong and move forward with this issue.

Time away from electronic devices

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Electronic devices, such as iPads, are a great way to give you time to get household chores done without being distracted by your child. It’s also something that lots of children enjoy and crave during their day at school. This is why bringing down the time on the device is a great way to punish bad behavior and make them realize the consequences of their actions.

Grounding them

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Using grounding can make a naughty child realize what they miss out on when they are naughty. You are stopping them from enjoying the activities they usually take for granted. Grounding can be done on your rules and adapted for anything you think they should still be allowed to do at this time. The main aim is for them to feel like they have missed out on something.

Calmly talking through issues

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Calmly talking with the child when they are in the mood to do so is a great way to reflect on why their behavior went that way. This will allow you to find out what triggered them and ensure it doesn’t happen again. It's also a good time to make them realize the effect of their behavior and the impact this has on you and your family. It's important to do this when everyone has calmed down though.

Reflecting on what they have done

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When a child's behavior is bad it's easy to think of all the worst things they have ever done. Attempt to reflect on what they have done and the environment they were in when they did it. This will allow you to see any triggers and understand better why the behavior happened. It also allows you to see the naughty child's side and understand their reaction better.

Time away from the child before punishment

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With a naughty child, you may feel very heated after a day of bad behavior from them. This is exactly why having time away from them before giving punishment is the best way to combat it. By doing this, you can reflect and work out the most realistic punishment for them. This is because, in the heat of the moment, you may say something you can't actually do.

Conversations from other family members

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When you are continuously speaking to a child about their behavior, you can unfortunately begin to feel unlistened to. This is why using family members, such as grandparents, to have a chat with them is a great way to get your point across. They might start to feel a sense of authority if somebody they respect a lot speaks to them about their issues. It's not a bad thing.

Excluded from fun activities

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It can be quite disappointing for you when you have planned a fun trip for the whole family and you have to cancel it because of bad behavior. However, by sticking to what you say and not allowing the child to go, it can have a beneficial effect. This is because they will understand the effect their behavior has on the fun things you do and will then stop them from doing it in the future.

Be consistent with rules

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When creating rules, it's important to make sure they are realistic and that they're something you can continue on a long term basis. You must make sure you stick to their rules and never bend them. By bending the rules, your child will think that they can do this when they want to, and this is where the naughty behavior will spark from. Be consistent and stick to the plan.

Make sure your child knows the consequences of naughty behavior

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Following on from the last point, not only is it important to be consistent with rules, but it is also important to have them. If your child does not have outlined rules, then they will not know that the behavior they are engaging in is bad. Sit down with your child and go through the house rules that they must follow and the consequences of not doing so to ensure they know.

Praise the good things they do

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It's easy to get caught up in all of the bad things your child does and never see the good. Take time to see any positive things they do and give them the recognition they deserve. This will make the child learn that they gain attention for the good things they do and not the bad things they do. This then encourages the child to do more positive things rather than the bad behavior they used to get a reaction for.

Do not give in when it gets hard

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If you’re having a bad day with your child, it can be so easy to give in to the rules that you made. By giving in, you are ruining the work you already put in and showing what bad behavior can do. It's important in these times to give yourself time to reflect and stay focused on the long term goal. By not reacting badly, you have a better chance of changing the behavior.

Do not scream when being assertive

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It's easy to lose your temper when dealing with your child, especially if they are screaming too. However, if you begin to scream at your kid, they will start to believe that this is the way to communicate. Always ensure you speak to them in a calm voice so they understand that screaming or yelling is not the way to communicate effectively.

Look into developmental stages your child might be going through

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Growing up there are a lot of different milestones that your child will go through. In these different stages, they are learning a lot about themselves and figuring out how to act in life. This is why it is so important to be clued up to what milestones your child is heading towards. This will allow you to help them and understand their behavior better.

Show affection to your child

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Sometimes all a child needs is a hug from their parents to know that they are loved. If they are not getting this attention enough, then they will begin to act out to get attention another way. Affection can be shown in many ways such as making an effort on their birthday or showing up to school events they are part of. A child just wants to be shown love in any way they can get it.

Make goals for your child

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By setting goals for your child, it allows them to be able to focus on what they need to improve on. It can also be a fun way for them to change their behavior and recognize what they are doing wrong. Goals could be a chore chart that they have to follow in order to gain a reward or simply a verbal goal. The goal set gives a child motivation to achieve something.

Focus on specific behaviors you want to change

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If a child has many different behavior issues, it can be overwhelming for you and them to have many different targets to improve. To make it the most successful, start with small goals that are achievable. This will allow you to get the energy from them and continue to add more changes as time goes by. This will keep them motivated to become better behaved.

Avoid any physical smacking

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When frustrations are high, it can be hard to not use the smacking behavior technique to stop your child from being naughty. However, this really is not a good way to make any progress in their behavior. Not only this, it can create mental trauma for the child later which in turn can heavily effect their adult life. It could also mean that the child will hit back.

Be aware of what is causing the behavior

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Although it may seem like your child is being naughty for no reason, there may be reasons for their behavior. Try looking at their environment and seeing if anything could be causing a distraction from being well behaved. Changes in their lives can cause bad behavior too, which could be things such as a house change or a family breakdown. It's important to identify root causes.

Ask at school how their behavior is

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Although your child may have really bad behavior at home, this may not be the case at school with their teachers. It's always good to talk to their teacher about their behavior and the techniques they use when it's bad. This can give you tips and a better understanding of why they’re being naughty at home. There may be some changes you can make at home to mimic what the teacher does.

Give the child a routine

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A routine can be a great way to keep a child focused and understand what they should be doing each day. Without a routine, behavior can begin to worsen and they may feel lost. It gives the child an understanding of what is the right and wrong thing to do and keeps them focused on the task they at hand. Start by writing out their day for them and encourage them to stick to it as much as possible.

Do not overreact

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It's easy to react to everything your child does when the overall behavior is not great. However, it's important to know how much to react to certain issues. If your child has been very naughty then it is important to give high consequences for this. However, if they have done a small thing then they must understand that it’s not okay but your reaction needs to be calm and civilized for it to be effective.

Pick your battles

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Not all behavior needs to be recognized with punishment, and it's important to pick the right issues to address. Many behavior problems in a child are caused by them trying to gain attention. With this being said, you can use the bad behavior by distracting them with something else if the behavior is minor. Do this by showing them an activity they could be doing instead.

Give attention in a positive way

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Following on from the last point, giving attention when a child is being bad can just cause them to continue doing this. If this is the case, it is best to give them attention when they are behaving. Make time for your child to have your full attention and put away any phones that may distract you. Your child wants time with you and only you to make them happy.

Give the child independence

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At times, a child may behave in a specific way because they are craving Independence. For example, a child who won't get dressed may want to be able to do it themselves. Unfortunately, children can't communicate how they are feeling all the time so you need to trial giving them the chance of doing things themselves. This could be laying out clothes for them to put on themselves.

Ensure the child has enough activities to use up energy

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It's easy to leave your child to their own devices when you have a busy day booked in. However, this can be a gateway to bad behavior and mean that the child will begin to show bad behavior because of the lack of routine or activity. They also need to use their energy, so activities that involve physical activity can be a great help for the child.

Be positive around the child

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When you don't feel great about yourself, it can be hard to hide this and even though you may feel your child is too young to tell, they will be able to. It's important to be aware of this and understand that their behavior can be a reflection of yours. Always try to be as positive as possible around your children to help them be as happy as possible too.

Look after yourself

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To be able to do the last point in the most effective way, it is important to look after yourself. If you are in the best shape mentally and physically, you will be able to conquer your child's behavior in the best way possible. Give yourself time alone to recharge and feel like yourself again. This could just be 10 minutes of doing your facial routine before bed.

Common child behavior problems and how to deal with them

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Children are always going to be naughty, and dealing with bad behavior is tough enough. But as children get older and become more aware, there's a lot of other things they could be doing in terms of behavior problems that you need to tackle head on before they get any worse. Here are some of the most common child behavior problems and how you can deal with them!

Lying

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Even as adults we tell little white lies from time to time, and sometimes it doesn't hurt anybody. But a child lying can be a difficult situation because their lies might come with the intention of getting other people in trouble, avoiding trouble themselves or just because they think it's okay. The best way to deal with this is to first find out the reason they feel the need to lie. Question them further and tell them the importance of telling the truth. You should also get into the habit of rewarding them when they do come clean!

Too much screen time

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Screens have made a positive difference to raising children in terms of entertainment on the go and more interactive learning tools, but there's no denying too much time staring at a screen is an issue! It's a good idea to have a firm rule about how much screen time is allowed from the very beginning, and also be a good role model by not spending too much time on your own screen.

Being too stubborn and defiant

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You might be sick of your child stubbornly yelling no every time you ask them to do something, or when they defiantly ignore you when you're trying to talk to them. With defiancy, you have to give them an option and a consequence, such as 'only when you do this can you do this' and 'okay so if you refuse to do that, you won't get this good thing you really want!'.

Being disrespectful

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It's never a nice feeling when the child you love more than anything in the world is being completely disrespectful to you and everyone around them! If you don't address this one, it's likely to get even worse. If they're being disrespectful to get your attention, it's important to ignore them, or they'll just think that behavior gets your attention and keep doing it. Be firm and kind in re-directing them to something nicer to say/do.

Picky eating

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Dealing with a picky eater is one of the most difficult things when you're busy enough raising a family! It might also be that they're always complaining they're hungry, or eating too many snacks. A good starting point is to help your child understand why healthy eating is so important, and lead by example. But don't put too much focus on labels like 'you have to eat your vegetables because they're so healthy' because they'll start to associate 'healthy' food with negative pressure for eating them.

Whining too much

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A child that never stops whining can be one of the most annoying things, and this one needs to be tackled before they whine more and more. Just like if they're being disrespectful, a good starting point is to not give them a reaction when they whine. Only give them a reaction when they're not whining. You should also teach them positive ways to deal with any kind of emotion that doesn't involve whining about it.

Impulsive behavior

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Young children can act very impulsively a lot of the time, especially with physical movements, which could mean they're more likely to hit other things, people or children, or say mean things that just come out. To tackle this, it's important to teach them how to stop and think before they speak, and you can make sure to praise them every time they do so. A lot of this is teaching them anger management, like when to walk away rather than react.

Issues at bedtime

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There are many issues that can happen throughout the day, but nothing can be worse than serious bedtime issues when you just want to rest yourself, and get them to sleep. Your child might jump out of bed after you've got them in, or have a tantrum about going in the first place. The key here is consistency and to never change the routine, and stay firm with the time they need to go to bed.

Dealing with temper tantrums

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Unfortunately the best way to deal with a tantrum is to ignore it, which as we know is very difficult when they're being loud and physical right in front of you. It's important to teach them that whatever they're doing - rolling around on the floor, screaming and stomping - won't get the result they want, and soon they'll learn there's no point to doing it!

Dealing with more aggressive behavior

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A lot of the time, aggressive behavior comes out in children because they don't know how to healthily react to the difficult emotions they're feeling. This is why it's important to spend time with them, teaching them how to deal with emotions in a healthy way, but also be very strict about the consequences of aggressive behavior that could harm other people if they're lashing out.

Lack of attention

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Kids have a very common tendency to let their minds and attention wander, and it can become problematic for parents trying to get them to do something, or learn something. Severe cares of inattention where you've noticed they really seem to struggle might be a warning sign of ADHD, which could be paired with symptoms of overactivity and impulsive behavior.

Getting physical

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Nobody wants their child to start getting really physical with other children and the people around them. Tantrums that are only verbal are bad enough, but you might be dealing with a child constantly lashing out. The first step is trying to tackle it by reinforcement of better ways to deal with emotion, but you may also need to check in with a healthcare professional in case the aggression is a symptom of something else.

Blaming other children

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It's important for children to learn how to own up to their own mistakes. Have you noticed that whenever they're around other people or playing with other children, they blame them for absolutely everything, or begin twisting tales to make the other child look bad? You should address this behavior straight away and speak to them about the importance of taking responsibility for their own actions.

Being antisocial

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Socialising is a huge part of growing up for your child, as they need to learn how to be around others, how to pick up on social cues and engage in stimulation with other children. Being antisocial can be a big problem, and you don't want them to continue to get older with this attitude. It may be that their antisocial behavior is a symptom of some other behavioral disorders. Try to encourage them into comfortable social environments.

Refusing to listen to authority figures

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There could actually be disorders and conditions that are making your child very averse to authority figures and people telling them what to do. If their behavior in refusing to listen to authority figures is extreme and very problematic, you may want to look into whether your child might have ADHD or ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), in which case it needs the proper care and attention.

Separation anxiety

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A lot of children go through separation anxiety, and this can kick in when big changes happen like when they're away from their parent during the day if they start school. It can be a difficult time for both parent and child, and you can start practising at home with short and frequent periods of separation, positive reinforcement and also positive talk about what you'll do together later when you're back together.

Being destructive

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Your child might be going through a stage of breaking their toys or breaking things around the home. Destructive behavior needs to be tackle as soon as possible to avoid your child causing damage to valuable things, and thinking that it's okay. Your child needs to understand how to take care of things, and you can use a 'well if you're going to break your toys, you won't have any at all' trial period.

Using abusive language

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If you've noticed that your child has started to use inappropriate language, the starting point is to find out where they might have heard it, even if you think you might have accidentally said it around the house when you didn't know they were listening. You should then speak to them about how it isn't appropriate language and encourage them to say something different.

Bullying behavior

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Bullying is never acceptable, so it should be acknowledged and tackled straight away. With bullying, it's important to start from an early age teaching them that bullying is wrong, before they even start to exhibit any signs of being a bully. Understand why they feel the need to bully (are they acting out of a place of hurt or confusion?) and work through it with them.

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