Divorced Women Reveal The Moment They Realized They Married The Wrong Guy

1. When he admitted he'd never even found me attractive

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I'd been married to my husband for a few years. We were out for an event one night and for ONCE I looked in the mirror and actually felt good about myself after struggling with this for a long time. I told him how amazing he looked and didn't get anything in reply. I then realized that in all these years he never complimented me. I told him and he shrugged. So I asked outright whether he even found me attractive to which he replied 'not really'.

2. When he deserted me during my fight with cancer

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So I was diagnosed with cancer and it was a really hard few months going through treatment, completely alone because he basically shut me off. After one year of cancer free, we divorced as I realized they would never be there for me when I needed them most, as he deserted me in my time of need. Now I'm husband free and have a boyfriend who couldn't be more supportive.

3. When I found out he'd been having an affair with my best friend

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There aren't many moments more poignant that could make you realize this marriage isn't for you. So when I found out that my husband had actually been sleeping with my BEST friend...I knew. It had been going on for several months right under my nose, and even in my house. This guy wasn't who I should have married, in fact, he wasn't even someone I should have ever been involved with in my life.

4. When I lost twin babies and he took me to the hospital and drove straight to a party

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Me and my husband of 3 years (we'd been together for 5) had been trying for a baby, so when I fell pregnant and realized it was twins I was elated. But tragically I lost my twins and I had to go to the hospital to have my miscarriage surgically removed. My husband dropped me off at the hospital, left me, and then went to a party. I was so sickened and I realized immediately that this man wasn't right.

5. When my husband complained the dishes were dirty after I had nearly lost my life

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I'd been seriously ill and ordered by the doctors to stay in bed for at least a week so that I could recover. Instead, I'd been at home looking after our child whilst my husband went to work and expected to come back home and have his clothes washed, ironed and dinner made. But it was the night he came home and swore at me for not washing the dishes that it truly dawned on me how horrible this man actually was.

6. When I finally realized I had become a shell of my former self

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I knew my marriage wasn't perfect but I hadn't actually realized that I was in an abusive relationship. I hadn't felt good in a long time and I never really associated it with him. It just kinda hit me one day that I had literally become a shell of my former self and it was because of how he was constantly emotionally beating me down and making me feel worthless and insignificant!

7. When my friend told me she found him on dating sites

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I was blissfully unaware, thinking that I and my husband were totally in love in our fairly new (only 2 years) marriage. Until one day my best friend hit me with a huge bombshell that my husband had been on dating sites - more than once. And these were not old profiles, it turned out he was a seasoned dater and had never stopped during all this time!

8. The very day after the wedding

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There's nothing worse than when you wake up the day after your wedding with a huge tonne of regret. What had I done? I don't want to be married to him! Is it too late? This man who had love-bombed me for a year before I agreed to marry him had finally taken off his mask. I had married a narcissist and now he wasn't even trying to hide his behaviour behind a façade.

9. When he said our children had not earned his love

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I already knew my husband was deeply flawed, but our children came I didn't believe that he would be the same with them as he was with me. We got into a conversation about the kids because he could be so cold with them and he told me that our children hadn't EARNED his love. Children don't need to earn love - it should be immediate and unconditional.

10. When he told me I wasn't ALLOWED to exercise anymore

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My husband actually turned to me one day and said to me that I wasn't allowed to exercise anymore, in fact, he said 'I've decided you're not going to exercise anymore' because it's taking too much time and you have to look after the kids - instead of taking out 2 hours a week for yourself. I was speechless and instantly knew I had made a terrible mistake.

11. When he wouldn't allow me to buy a crucial piece of medical equipment, and spent it on himself

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I had been diagnosed with diabetes and there's a medical piece of equipment for around one hundred dollars (which we could comfortably spare) that allows you to keep track of your diabetes safely. My husband refused to allow me to spend this money on something that could save my life. A couple of days after refusing this he spent a lot more money on video games for himself.

12. When I discovered his affair six months after our wedding day

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You would think wouldn't you that someone having an affair wouldn't choose to get married? But we got married happily (after a couple of years of being together), or so I thought. It was only until 6 months down the line, after our wedding day when I found out to my complete shock and horror that my new husband had been cheating on me this entire time. Just why?

13. When I realized that I wouldn't even be his friend if I weren't married to him

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There wasn't really one singular moment in which I realized I'd married the wrong guy. Or at least, there wasn't a huge incident that happened. But it did suddenly occur to me that I was married to a man who yes I may love or at least have loved but I didn't LIKE him or who he was. I realized if we weren't married I wouldn't even want to be his friend!

14. When he deserted me during lockdown telling me his 'real' family was more important

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Lockdown happened and we had to stay in our family bubble. My husband turned around and told me he had to go and be with his REAL family because they were more important. He meant his mum who was only 50 years old, and totally fit and healthy. I was married to the guy (or mummy's boy) for many years and he still didn't consider me to be family or at all important!

15. When I wasn't even mentioned in his wedding speech at OUR wedding

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Sadly (or thankfully, who knows?) we realize immediately that we've married the wrong guy. And I'm talking during the wedding day. My husband stands up to give a speech and I'm waiting for him to mention me. The speech concludes he's thanked friends and family and me, his new wife sitting next to him, didn't get a single mention. I realized right there and then that this was the wrong guy.

16. When he left me alone being sick in our room during the honeymoon

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Unfortunately, I realized straight away that I had married the wrong guy and I cannot explain the immense feeling of regret. We were on the honeymoon and I'd got really sick so I was in the room, stuck in bed feeling unwell. My very new husband on the other hand was nowhere to be seen, he was by the pool all day and didn't try and look after me at all he was more concerned about me ruining the holiday.

17. When he always put me down and I started hiding my good news

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The moment that I realized I had married the wrong guy when I realized what I was doing; I was keeping the moments I felt proud or super happy to myself and hid them from him because I knew not only would he not reciprocate them - he'd put me down. Your husband is supposed to be your biggest support and the person cheering you on and I had precisely the opposite.

18. When he took out his bad moods on our kids

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Having extreme mood swings with me, his wife, was one thing that I knew wasn't acceptable, but when he started doing it to our kids I knew it was time for a divorce. He would refuse to speak to them when they had done something 'wrong' and sometimes if our kids went for a hug he would refuse, telling them that he gave them one earlier in the day and that was enough!

19. When he'd patronize me for not doing HIS jobs right

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I married a guy and quickly the romance of the honeymoon phase fizzled and burned out and the reality of married life with him took over. He expected me to cook and clean for him and look after him. And not only that, but when I didn't do it exactly the way he wanted me to he would give me extremely patronizing instructions on how to do HIS jobs better next time. You know what, do your own jobs when we're divorced...

20. When he'd been sat at home playing games all day whilst my new puppy had nearly died under his neglectful watch

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We'd just bought a puppy together and I was at work all day whilst my partner who was pretending to attend community college was sat at home playing video games all day. Our puppy had chewed through a cable and started a small fire and could have died. I noticed the burns on the carpet when I arrived home and he hadn't even noticed because he'd been glued to his PlayStation screen.

21. When he invited his friends on our honeymoon with me and was horrible

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So it raised a huge red flag first when he asked his guy mates to come on our honeymoon with us! And then when we got to our honeymoon after the wedding day you assume it's going to be romantic and everything you'd dreamed of, but he was absolutely horrible to me and left me for his friends. He's say nasty things and I'd be sat alone in the room while he was out drinking.

22. When I came out of the hospital and my husband left me with the kids to go out drinking

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I came out of the hospital and my husband hadn't really visited me but I'd not thought much of it because he was looking after the kids at home. But then when I came out of the hospital and got home, he IMMEDIATELY left the house and said it was my turn and he needed a break. He headed straight out to a bar, with me at home still recovering and struggling alone with our children!

23. When my husband told me that he wasn't sexually, or mentally attracted to me

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We used to have some fights in which things got nasty, he would say hurtful things to me and then apologize as if it wiped the slate clear again, but I'd always remember everything he'd said. This one time he turned around and told me that he wasn't sexually or mentally attracted to me in any way. I could tell he was telling the truth and he didn't even care to deny it after the fight this time.

24. When he told me that she'd met the love of her life...and it wasn't me

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We'd been married 5 years and personally, I felt that I was totally in love with my partner still. Then one day he came into the living room with a bag packed and he told me he's met someone, the love of his life and it wasn't me it was another woman. A childhood sweetheart from his college days. And that was the moment I realized I had married the wrong man, but it was too late because he was the one to tell me.'

25. When he spent all of my money on the wedding, even when I asked him not too

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I was marrying my husband and I was very well off, he wasn't so much and it's something I didn't think was important at all. But when we were planning the wedding he wanted to spend SO much money on completely unnecessary things. It was my money that he was spending and eventually, I asked him to stop. I said we do not need a firework display at the end of the night so he agreed. Anyway, it hits midnight on the wedding day and the fireworks start.

26. When he called me stupid for pressing the wrong button on the remote...then I knew

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My husband could be so patronizing and he constantly mansplained to me. I'd basically do everything too, so how he had the cheek to complain I don't know! I literally pressed the button on the remote and switched to the wrong channel and he seriously said to me that I'm stupid. After everything I did to him, he had the nerve to insult me for the most minor things. As soon as he said it that time I knew.

27. When I found him messaging another girl on our wedding day

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I literally found him messaging another girl ON our wedding day. I'd heard him on the phone during the reception and asked him who is it, seeing as all of his family and friends were right here with us so I thought it was strange. And then after a couple of hours, I leaned over his shoulder when he thought I wasn't looking and saw it all for myself, during the wedding reception.

28. When my husband let our baby fall because he was so engrossed in his video game

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My husband spent hours of each and every day playing video games, even when we had a baby. Our baby was on the bed with my husband and I gave specific instructions to watch the baby in case they rolled off the bed - but I never thought he'd let that happen. He did. He was too engrossed in his game and then I realized that I'd made a massive mistake marrying this guy.

29. When he told me he was embarrassed by me

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Something that truly cuts deep is when you hear your husband tell you they're embarrassed by you. Not by something you did that was out of character, but by you in general. This is what happened to me and it was the moment that I knew I had married the wrong guy. He said he was embarrassed to be seen with me and preferred to go out alone without me.

30. When I finally realized he'd been sabotaging our chances of getting pregnant and pretending he wasn't

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We'd struggled to get pregnant for a while so we got fertility tests from the doctors and we basically found out that he had low testosterone which could be easily boosted by a daily tablet, without side effects. So he told me he was taking it and we were trying for a baby - he pretended he was desperate for me to get pregnant. And then I found out he wasn't even taking the tablet he's been pretending to.

31. When I found about the emotional affair through text messages

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"6 months after our wedding... He had sent his affair partner screenshots of my texts to him in which I was begging him to talk to me and tell me what was wrong. They both proceeded to make fun of my desperation... the moment I read those words I realised how big of mistake I had made".

32. When Covid hit

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"Lockdown was announced and he said he had to go look after his "real family", i.e. his mother, a healthy and capable 50yo who treated him like a child. I had those words ringing in my head for months. Real family. How TF was I not his real family? But I slowly realised that the big old handbrake was off".

33. I may as well not have even been there

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"When he didn't mention me in his speech at our wedding. He thanked everyone else, commented on the bridesmaids, talked about our daughters... First night of our honeymoon, I got horrendously sick, and he left me alone in our room to go watch something on the big screen on the beach".

34. A smaller version of myself

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"One day I realized I had become a smaller version of myself". You should never sacrifice who you are as a person to make a relationship work, or for the one you love. And one day it can just hit you like a bolt of lightning that you've become less than you were because of them.

35. I wouldn't have wanted to be his friend

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"When I realized if we weren't dating I wouldn't have wanted to be his friend". This one just sums up what a lot of people go through - it's something so simple, but if you don't like the person enough to be friends with them before anything else, there' isn't really a future.

36. He started lecturing me

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"We'd been married several years and the marriage had gotten increasingly worse... He only ate out of those stackable plastic plates with the dividers... He saw them in cabinet and was outraged because I hadn't stacked them inside one another... He started lecturing me... I stared at him with hatred... I'm happy to say I'm out of the abuse marriage".

37. Ignoring our puppy

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"I came home from a long day of work to find burn marks all over the carpet... My then husband had spent the entire day playing games on his PC... he had been ignoring our puppy who had managed to somehow get ahold of a phone battery, bite through it, and cause a small fire. Thankfully, the dog wasn't injured".

38. He absolutely lost his mind on me in public

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"It was actually almost immediately after getting married... while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public. I had wanted to go see a beach on the island... so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came. He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how could I ruin his vacation like this".

39. When he called me incompetent

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"When he called me incompetent for taking literally less than 15 seconds to turn off subtitles on Netflix. In that moment I realized that I had been living in fear and pain for so many years but that the things he was willing to put me down and call me names over were becoming smaller and smaller and I was already walking on eggshells".

40. When he was messaging a side chick

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"When he was messaging a side chick on our wedding day and boy did it go sideways from there". Wow, as if messaging somebody else wasn't bad enough... on your actual wedding day?? At the very least, we think it's better she found out then than years down the line...

41. When he told me I was low on the attractiveness scale

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"There were a lot of red flags. Things like him telling me I was low on the attractiveness scale, and embarrassing to him because I was intellectual... so came across as a stuck up snob to everyone. He also did other stuff like spending money on toys for himself that we had allocated for remodeling".

42. After the kid was born

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"After the kid was born. Total shift. Turns out only I wanted to be a parent". It has to be heartbreaking when you plan to have kids with your husband as a team effort only to find out after the baby is born that he never wanted to be a parent in the first place... Poor woman!

43. He only did things for how he would appear to others

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"He threw a surprise birthday for me, and towards the end I was inside near the food table... I affectionately called him over to have a moment, he rolled his eyes and walked on. Anyone, even a stranger on the road, was always more important... He only did things for how he would appear to others".

44. When I asked for the most simple thing

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"When I asked for the most simple thing, please get up off your chair from playing video games to greet me when I'm home from working a 12 hour day. He never did it". Sometimes you find out the true colors of a person when you need the simple things they aren't willing to give!

45. When our child was three months old

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"When our child was three months old and I had the absolute worst case of mastitis. I was so weak I couldn't even pick up the baby. I asked him to please stay home from work and help me. He told me to call my mum, then left for work. I stuck it out for another 4 years... but finally found the courage to leave".

46. The moment I had to "adjust" my boundaries

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"The moment I had to "adjust" my boundaries, I knew I'm with the wrong guy. The worst happened last year, when after being together for 11 years, he chose to cheat with my niece... It just kept getting worse from there. All the gaslighting and psychological trauma and abuse".

47. I didn't even know what he thought of me

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"I had no idea how he felt about me... He didn't propose, I did... He never shared his energy or emotions with me... I would share myself with him. My thoughts, interests, humor. I'd get nothing in return... I felt unseen, unheard... I didn't feel special... I wanted our souls to meet. He seemed incapable".

48. His controlling behaviour just got worse and worse

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"We had just moved out from my parent's place with our daughter... the yelling and swearing got worse. His controlling behaviour just got worse and worse to the point where if I had a shower without permission he would bang on the door while screaming at me..."

49. When he brought his friends on our honeymoon

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"He went swimming with his two friends who he insisted come with us on the trip. I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry". It has to be biggest red flag in the world when your new husband actually wants his friends to come on your honeymoon so he can spend time with them instead!

50. The kicker for me was when it came time to have kids

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"He swore he was all in, but when we weren't getting pregnant we both got tested. Turned out he had borderline low testosterone and some other issues that were solved with a simple over the counter daily medication... Turned out he had been sabotaging the process the whole time. Intentionally not taking the daily meds and doing some other stuff to ensure we would fail".