Daily Struggles Only Grandparents Will Understand

1. Disagreeing with the parents... it's the worst!

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Being a grandparent is the best job in the world. But looking after grandkids comes with conditions and even in the most loving families, there’s a clash between parents and grandparents on what they think is best for the kids involved. It’s HARD not to overstep boundaries, you don’t want to, but it's just that your way is the right way, right?!

2. How to say NO to babysitting

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One struggle that certainly makes it to the top of the list is the uncanny ability to say no to babysitting.  It's like there's this unspoken expectation that you'll want to babysit them every single weekend when the reality is quite the contrary!  And it dominates the latter part of the week!  As soon as you're over the hump of Wednesday, the weekend looms over you like a heavy thundercloud ready to reign chaos in your home...

3. How do I remember ALL their names!?

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When they do come over though, there's no doubt that their little faces and personalities bring you a bucketload of happiness.  However, being able to actually name those little bundles of joy is a whole other story.  You know what we're talking about here.  They probably get everyone else's name, including the cat's name, before you finally arrive at the right one, by which time, they've gone home...

4. Accidentally sending endless voice notes on the family WhatsApp

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Come on, admit it!  You're the one in the family WhatsApp chat who sends accidental voice notes in response to messages.  And they're not even relevant, are they?  In fact, you've pressed the voice note button instead of send and your family members have basically just received the sounds of your surroundings, or your conversation, or your pocket, and they're still none the wiser on what you meant to say.

5. EVERYTHING has changed since I was a parent!

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YES! Like with everything, things have moved on SO SO much! Thanks TikTok! From sleeping advice, to eating habits to advice on how to care for your kids, it has literally ALL changed. So be patient and take into consideration what the parents say to do, remember it's important to follow their rules and stick to what they think is best. Trust them!

6. Following the rules

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Now one thing that lots of grandparents struggle with is stepping back a little from the parenting role they once had with their own kids.  And now their kids have kids, it can cause a bit of tension when they don't respect their kid's own parenting rules, especially if they are different from their own.  As a parent, you probably enforced certain rules on your kids, but now they have parental responsibilities of their own, it can be tough to change your role and approach.

7. Keeping the hard-boiled candy jar full

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If you're the type of grandparent with a jar full of hard-boiled candies, you'll know of the uphill struggle of keeping that jar full.  The grandkids love coming over and every time they do, you know that they're going to raid the candy.  And no matter how much you try to limit it so you don't get into trouble with their parents, you just can't say no to those butter-wouldn't-melt faces.  And you can't hide it either because they're bouncing off the walls with the sugar by the time they go home.

8. That 'butter-doesn't-melt' look

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That butter-doesn't-melt look your grandkids give you (usually when they're asking for something) is completely impossible to resist and certainly up there on every grandparent's list of daily struggles.  Because no matter how hard you try to resist that heart-melting look in a bid to follow their parent's rules, you know that you're never going to be able to contend with it and it's you who deals with the consequences!

9. Giving parenting advice

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You have been a parent before, and now your kids have kids, it's probably going to feel completely impossible to refrain from imparting your wisdom on parenting.  But the thing is, they're not going to listen, and probably won't appreciate it if you stick your oar in and start telling them how it's done.  And it can feel hard to sit back and allow them to do it their own way and only offer support rather than taking the reins.

10. Keeping up with the kids!

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Do you consider yourself a Grannenial?  Yes, cheesy as it sounds millennial grandparents SAY they are keeping it fresh and keeping up with the kids.  But in reality, your millennial kids having kids only widens the generation gap and you might be left far out at sea, desperately trying to navigate this new generation's fashion trends, technology, and lingo.  And you're still none the wiser as to WHY low-rise jeans are back in, or how on earth death metal can be considered musical genius...  And you can't really tell them all of this if you want to remain seen as a hip grandparent, so your only response is: "It's different".

11. Understanding the alien world your grandkids live in...

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Sometimes, it can feel like the younger generation has come from a distant alien world, filled with TikTok dances and chunky sneakers.  And no matter how well-equipped your space rocket is, it feels like you'll never reach their faraway planet and you'll be trapped floating aimlessly in the vastness of space forever and ever.  Yep - a bit of an exaggeration, but you know where we're coming from...

12. What about the competition?

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If your grandkids are lucky enough to still have grandparents from both sides of the family, you might feel like there's a bit of competition.  They buy them a balloon, so you buy them their very own bounce house; then they take them to the carnival so you book a trip to Disneyland.  And where does the quest of being the 'best' grandparent ever end?  With you bankrupt?  Probably... And you don't want to be labeled as the 'jealous grandparent'.

13. The juggling act

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As a grandparent, you're probably quite familiar with the struggle of the juggling act.  And there are probably quite a few things that you have to juggle as you adjust to life as a grandparent.  But there is one thing that has been reported as a daily struggle, and that's trying to strike a balance with how much help you offer.  You don't want to be overbearing to your kids and grandkids but at the same time, you also don't want to be absent without offering support.

14. Ending up with sticky notes everywhere

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Being a grandparent probably means that you're not as young as you used to be, which means your memory might not be as sharp as it once was, especially now you've got grandkids too!  So what better way than to write down what you need to remember on sticky notes and decorate your home with them?  The only thing is, though, you've forgotten where you've stuck the sticky notes with everyone's birthdays on them!

15. Parting with their vinyl records that are now considered "vintage"

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It might be a surprise that vinyl records are all the rage again, even in the age of digitalization.  And you knew they'd come back, that's why you kept all of your old vinyl records in storage, ready to listen to for a trip down memory lane.  The problem is, though, your grandkids now want to 'borrow' them, because they're what they call 'vintage', which means that you'll probably never see them again.

16. Sharing your wisdom

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When you've been around for a while, you might feel like you've got plenty of wisdom to pass on to your grandkids.  But despite how helpful you think it might be in shaping well-rounded and content grandchildren, you might have a huge task ahead of you because getting them to actually listen is another thing.  And this is especially true during those troublesome teenage years.

17. Keeping the fridge well-stocked

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When you have your grandkids over to visit, you're probably wondering how all of the food in your fridge disappeared so quickly.  You only went shopping for groceries this morning!  But, as predicted, those bottomless pits that are your beloved grandkids have devoured it all already.  And the most surprising thing is that they've only been at your house for an hour!

18. Kid-proofing your house

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When your grandkids are young, the endless struggle of kid-proofing your house can be a bit of a pain.  You go to open the fridge, and it's jammed shut with some sort of safety device; then you go to get a spoon out of the drawer and the same thing happens.  Everyday tasks that were once a piece of cake now feel impossible to do.  But at least the kids are safe, right?!

19. Understanding new parenting norms

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It feels like the parenting norms and styles of today are a long way away from what they were.  And when you see your grandkids being weaned by the 'baby-led weaning' technique, or take the 'attachment parenting' approach, you might wonder what these new parenting terms are!  But in truth, they've probably always been around, they've just been given fancy-sounding new names.

20. Honoring boundaries

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Boundaries are super important for any relationship, and when it comes to your kids having their own kids, you have to honor the boundaries that they set.  That being said, it's also important to set your own boundaries with your kids and grandkids.  Any violation of your or their boundaries can really put a strain on your relationship which nobody wants!

21. Meeting expectations

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A struggle that many grandparents face is being able to meet everyone's expectations within the role.  This might include anything from how often you are expected to see your grandkids to providing childcare whilst their parents work, as well as even how much money to spend on them.  If you are not able to meet all of these expectations, but you try to because you think you should, this can prove to be a huge struggle and perhaps put a strain on your relationships.

22. Brushing up on your skills

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When you become a new grandparent, just because you've done all of the 'baby stuff' before, doesn't mean that you're still an expert at it.  We mean, who even is?!  So it might come as a shock to you when you tie yourself into a knot when trying to change a diaper, or when it comes to burping the baby or even pureeing some carrots!  All of these, you've probably forgotten to do after 30 or so years!

23. Providing childcare

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If you're retired, you might be expected to provide daily childcare for your grandkids whilst their parents go out to work.  And it's true, this will help the parents to both return to work whilst saving them a bit of cash on expensive childcare bills.  But this is a huge commitment that costs you so much of your time and probably your cash too.  And it's so difficult to say no, even if you don't feel like you have the resources!

24. Being honest

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Being honest with your own children, the ones who have given you wonderful grandchildren, can be really really challenging at times, especially when you need to tell them that you can't babysit or provide childcare whilst they work.  And being honest about your own finances and time and setting boundaries around them can be such a struggle too because it's clear that you want to help, but it's not realistic to meet all of the expectations all of the time.

25. Managing cash

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Having grandkids is such a fulfilling experience and they can bring you so much joy and happiness.  But for all the joy that they give you, you can also feel the strain on your finances.  Especially if you are prone to treating them to gifts and days out.  And not to mention all the food that they eat when they come over!  So that struggle of managing cash definitely makes the list!

26. Breaking the rules a little

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As a grandparent, you're allowed to break the rules a little.  To be honest, some small rules are meant to be broken from time to time, like letting them have an extra scoop of ice cream and staying up a little later than usual.  And besides, the energy it can take to actually enforce ALL the rules can be too great and not really feel worth it.  And breaking them every now and then can make your grandkids think you're the coolest!

27. Accepting that you don't really have a lot of control

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As a grandparent, you have to accept that you don't really have any control over the ways your grandkids are brought up by their parents.  And this can easily become a bit of a struggle, especially because you've got their best interests at heart.  But trying to take some control can be seen as interfering, and it's likely that you don't actually want to be labeled as "the one who oversteps the mark so we don't get in touch too often".

28. Geographical distance

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If you live far away from your grandchildren, missing them can be quite a significant daily struggle.  You might wonder if they'll forget you if you don't see them often.  And trying to rectify this can only make your daily struggle worse as you battle with technology to make video calls with them, often filming your hair, and your feet, zooming in too far on your nose, or appearing as a potato because you've clicked on the filters setting.

29. When they start drifting away

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You might remember this happening when your own kids started growing up but as the troublesome teenage years loom over you, you might notice that your beloved, once super cuddly grandkids (who you once called your 'shadows' because they were by your side all the time) start to drift away from you as they get more interested in being out with their friends rather than visiting you.  And it's hard to remember that it's totally normal!

30. "The Empty Nest"

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When your children move out of your family home, some describe the feeling of an empty nest, and this can feel a little quiet and lonely.  And after a few more years of energy with the patter of your grandkids' feet running through the house, you might feel this again when they also start to do different things with their lives as they grow.  This might be a daunting thought, but at least you can enjoy a little peace and quiet and take pride in them as they live their lives.  Besides, they'll be back to visit!

31. Things you only see at your grandparents house! An impressive thimble collection

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No grandparent's house would be complete without at least one thimble collection - and how does your grandparent display those? On the side in a box, on a shelf in the kitchen, or do they have a whole gallery wall filled with 1000 of them that you're so scared to knock off?

32. Skirts on every chair/couch

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Couch and chair skirts are actually a great addition to furniture if you have a growing family, especially young children with sticky fingers! But when it comes to a grandparents house, it's almost like they chose the skirts voluntarily because they think they look good?

33. That one handmade patchwork quilt

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Which was definitely either made by your grandmother or passed down to your grandparents through generations of quilters! And the quilt is most likely on the guest bed which you sleep in when you go over, which is for decoration only, you've been told a million times.

34. The patio furniture that's all brown cane

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If your grandparents' house had any sort of outside space, even a tiny porch, you best believe it has a dark brown wooden cane set on it. It's likely there was a flowery pillow or two thrown on them, too, to take the edge off. And they 100% creak when you sit on them, too.

35. Lace curtains

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Curtains are supposed to either keep the light out, let a small amount in, or give you privacy - or, ideally, all of the above. So what the heck are lace curtains trying to achieve? Ah, yes... it's so your grandmother can spy on the neighbors, of course. Easy to see through, easy to twitch!

36. Their collection of china

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Every kitchen in a grandparents home has to have at least one kitchen cupboard dedicated to overflowing china. Either that, or this was a prized collection that was out on plate shelves or stands for all to see - and you were terrified of smashing a plate every time you went to visit...

37. Did anybody order more chintz?

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What is it about chintz that grandparents love so much? It's everywhere! Sure, it has a certain... old-fashioned charm, but it basically makes you feel like you're trapped in a big fabric chintz box every time you go round. Counches, chair, wallpaper, curtains... it's everywhere!

38. At least one antique clock

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Depending on how big your grandparents house is, this could be a mantel clock or a huge grandfather clock - and if the latter, it's usually placed at the end of a creepy hallway in your grandparents huge, dusty abode. And nothing kept you awake at night more than the ticking of the huge antique clock!

39. 70's throwback electric fire

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No grandparents house was missing a fireplace - it just happened to be the most old-fashioned thing you've ever seen, complete with electrics that only worked half the time and a grim grey surround. With a mantelpiece that had pictures of the grandkids on top, of course.

40. A collection of garden gnomes

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Did you get a jump scare every time you went into the garden? Yep. Did they have 10 new ones every time you went round to visit? Yep. You know that every grandparent even named each of the gnomes, too, or tried to put them in different positions to make up their own scene from the director's chair.

41. A serving hatch in the kitchen

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There was nothing like sticking your head through one of these when you were a kid to give your grandmother a fright when she was cooking! Although it was pretty old-fashioned, there's no denying this one is actually fun. And it's the ideal place for peek-a-boo, let's face it.

42. For some reason, a barometer

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Back in the day, barometers could tell you weather warnings and forecasts before the time of digital apps, but even in this day and age, your grandparents still refuse to get rid of the one they have hanging on the wall between the kitchen and living room. And you can't help but stare at it as you go past.

43. Framed cross stitches on the wall

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If there's room left after their thimble collection, china display and random barometer, then you best believe they had completed cross-stitch patterns in fancy frames all over the wall. Either one - or both - of your grandparents have this as a hobby, and most definitely want to show it off.

44. Crystal glassware no one's ever allowed to use

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Some things are just meant to be seen and not touched. You'd think with glassware they bought it for the very purpose it was made for, but nope - not when they're this beautiful, heavy and expensive. It wouldn't be surprising if their collection was also locked in a display cabinet!

45. Kinda creepy knitted toys

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Knitted toys are a go-to item for grandparents, whether as toys or just to keep in their own home. At least one of your windowsills or shelves in your grandparents house had a few knitted dolls on it - all slightly off, all slightly weird, and all most definitely staring at you when you come out of the bathroom.

46. A huge stash of vintage board games

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Games night at your grandparents house was in a different league when they got out these bad boys! You definitely didn't need to take your own board games to your grandparents when they had this pile ready in the cupboard, or under the bed in the guest room!

47. Doilies, doilies everywhere

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When your grandparents aren't busy making cross-stiches, they're definitely busy making doilies instead - if they even have room left for any. Every table, coffee table and shelf in this house is covered in homemade doilies. Oh, and you even get one to use as a coaster, too!

48. Window pelmets

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Why does every window need one of those pelmets? Why have your grandparents happily left them up - embraced them, even? It might have served a purpose one day (we have no idea what that purpose was) but it's just a pointless, impractical dust catcher these days.

49. Wallpaper made to look like something else

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Ah, yes - the wallpaper made to look like anything except wallpaper. Although you can get modern industrial designs like brick these days, in your grandparents house it's most likely to be very old-fashioned wooden boards, slats or anything that comes in shades of brown.

50. Fluffy toilet seat cover

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Seriously, what are these for? Who thought they were a good idea? If they were thinking about keeping your behind warm while using the toilet, they obviously didn't think about the germ potential. For grandparents, it's usually a seat cover and floor mat matching combo!