Things All Couples Argue About

By Eloise Heath 8 months ago

1. Jealousy

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The green-eyed monster can be a powerful force- and boy does it rear its head in relationships sometimes. Maybe you clocked your partner checking someone else out, or perhaps they have a bestie who's a bit too close for comfort? Either way, it can cause some serious bust ups.

2. Lack of communication

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Failure to communicate is an absolute classic cause of conflict. How many arguments kick off with a misunderstanding? It's easy to get halfway through a rager of a row, and realise that the entire thing is based on a mix up! Being open, honest, and clear can be work- but it can save heartache in the long run.

3. Not being appreciated

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Is there anything worse than the creeping feeling that your partner doesn't appreciate you? Nothing makes me want to roll my eyes more. If one person pours time, dedication, and devotion into a relationship, and the other takes it for granted, there will almost certainly be trouble in paradise.

4. Chores

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Chores: from cleaning, to cooking, to washing up those pesky dishes. No one likes 'em, we all gotta do 'em. But what happens in a relationship where one person ends up doing much more than the other? Resentment, that's what! This is the kind of issue that bubbles under the surface of a relationship until you find yourself screaming 'TAKE THE BINS OUT OR YOU'RE DUMPED'.

5. Exes

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It's a question that's bamboozled lovers since the dawn of time: can you break up and stay friends? Especially if things end amicably, it can be hard to phase out that special someone once you split. But, staying close with an ex can be a red flag to a new boyfriend or girlfriend, and can end up causing friction.

6. Whether or not to have kids

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Some people yearn for parenthood their whole lives, and others are always destined to be more of a fun-aunt/uncle. And it's worth some serious soul searching to figure out what you both want in this department- after all, having kids is pretty much the biggest commitment you can make.

7. How to raise the kids

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So, a couple negotiates the tricky waters of the 'kids vs no kids' debate, they decide they're pro-procreation, and 9 months later they've got their beautiful new baby. All plain sailing from here right? Wrong! What kind of parents do they want to be: strict? Lenient? Warm? Relaxed? Now they have to figure out between them how to actually raise this brand new person and, boy, can that start some fights.

8. Religion

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Religion can be a tricky topic in a relationship. Faith is so personal, and can often be tied to family, heritage, and culture. What happens if a partner's family expects them to marry within one religion, but they fall in love with someone from another? The strain this puts on a couple can be absolutely immense.

9. Time keeping

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Ok, no judgement here- who's done this before. You get the text "I'll be at the restaurant in ten minutes". You are reading this fresh out the shower, hair in a towel, with no idea what you're going to wear. "Be there in fifteen mins" you reply, knowing this is at this point physically impossible to achieve. Time keeping can be a sticking point for couples, especially if one party is always the punctual one!

10. Reply times

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Is there anything worse than seeing those two little blue ticks on Whatsapp light up, but having to wait hours and hours for a reply?! It's maddening. At the start of a new relationship, lots of guys will try to 'play it cool' by letting reply times get longer and longer, but for us this comes off as cold!

11. Going out vs staying in

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Some people spend lots of their time out in bars, clubs, and other social hotspots because they love the buzz- and others are just going out to find someone to stay in with. That's how they find each other: the party animal and the couch potato. Because, weirdly, these two very different social animals often end up together. That's when they have to figure out how to balance their two very different personalities and preferences.

12. In-laws

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What do 'Rome and Juliet', 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding', and 'Get Out' all have in common? You guessed it: in-law drama. Meeting your spouse's loved ones can be a trying experience. But it's often a package deal: if you love them, the rest of the family are just something you have to deal with!

13. The holidays

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Christmas. According to the song, it's "the most wonderful time of the year". It's also the most frantic, frazzling, and stressful time of the year, but that doesn't really fit as well with the music. From the financial burden of buying pressies, to whose family you'll spend the big day with, there's plenty to argue about over the holiday season.

14. Spilling the beans on their relationship to friends

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We've all been there: girls' night. The cheese board is on point. The wine is flowing, and so is conversation- chatting about everything from crushes to cuticles to careers. All of a sudden, you're halfway through a story about you and your partner that maybe you shouldn't have been sharing- oops...

15. Money

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Money makes the world go around- and sometimes it can make us go round the bend at each other. Got a boyfriend who splashes the cash around like it's going out of style, or a girlfriend who keeps too tight a hold on the purse strings, or vice versa? You're not alone if so, money and spending habits being a big source of contention in couples.

16. Being possessive

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If you love something, set it free. So the saying goes, but a lot of people seem to struggle with this concept. If you love and respect your partner, you just have to trust that it will work even when they spend time with their own friends, pursue their own individual interests, and generally have a life of their own. But possessive partners struggle with this, causing trouble and strife more often than not.

17. Being clingy

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Everyone has different thresholds for what counts as clingy. For some it feels totally normal to be texting back and forth constantly all day, whereas some people find that suffocating. It's all down to personal preference, and when this is mismatched in a pair of partners, it can cause problems.

18. Whose friends get priority

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Friday night rolls around. Your mates are going bowling, but your partner's pals are headed out for a bbq (or the cinema, or skeet shooting, or line dancing- I don't know your life). You want to spend the evening together, but you both want to see your friends. Ding, ding- round one, FIGHT!

19. How often you get down and dirty

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Libidos are funny things. They're like noses: everyone's got one, and they're all different. Any couple who've been together for more than a few weeks have to deal with their sex drives not always matching up, or not being in sync. It's a tricky topic, that requires a lot of love and respect to work through.

20. Snoring

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I think even the best amongst us are a bit extra grumpy after a bad night's sleep. So, if your dreams are being interrupted by your other half's night time rumblings, it's a sure fire recipe for a tense conversation the next morning. Same goes for sleep talking too, anything that interrupts our beauty sleep can be a real bummer!

21. Who's the boss

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Even in the most equal of relationships, it's only natural that one person ultimately feels like are a little bit more in-charge. Who, more often than not, gets the final word on impasse topics? It might not be conscious, but a struggle for power can run under the surface of romantic pairings and lead to simmering tensions.

22. Time spent together vs time spent apart

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Everyone knows a couple or two that are joined at the hip, those loved up duos that where you rarely see one without the other. Other pairs are much more independent- but what happens when one partner expects constant togetherness, and the other wants more freedom? An argument, that's what happens.

23. Boundaries

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Whether it's emotional boundaries, or simply someone borrowing your towel without asking, boundaries are a big source of tension. Some people are over sharers who are comfortable sharing everything from trauma to towels, while others need more space and separation. Bizarrely, these type of people often marry each other.

24. Remembering the important things

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Men, take notes. And by this I mean actually take a note, because I need you to remember when our anniversary is. If the day of the anniversary rolls around and there's no card, no sign of flowers, and no valid excuse, you best believe we're going to fall out.

25. Appetite for adventure

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Sometimes opposites attract. A couple might be made up of one spontaneous free-spirit, and one Type A super planner- just think Jake and Amy from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Partner A brings out the adventurer in Partner B, and Partner B help keep Partner A from getting into too many scrapes. It works, but it means sometimes there will be different levels of enthusiasm for random adventures.

26. Emotional labour

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Emotional labor, the metaphorical heavy lifting we do when we try to handle the feelings of both partners. Like any labor it can be exhausting, and even unhealthy, sometimes leading people to squash their own emotions down to try and keep things afloat. If one person is doing all the work, it's sure to come out at some point.

27. Where to live

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Some people dream of a townhouse: a big kitchen, a garden, near to good schools, a cute bakery across the road. Others would rather convert a van, and have a home on wheels that can tour the world. Some crave the metropolitan buzz of a big city, some would rather live in the woods- or at the beach, or the desert, or a cute little town, the possibilities are endless. But when a couple comes to plan its future, these differences of taste can cause tears.

28. Where to go on vacation

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When you've been working hard all year long and summer rolls around, your vacation can understandably feel like the most important thing in the world. Bad news though: you've got your heart set on sipping a pina colada by the pool, and he's obsessed with a kayaking trip through South America. Or maybe you're hankering for a trip to the snowy mountains, and he's craving soaking up some vitamin D. You can't have it both ways!

29. Time on social media/phones

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Excessive screen time can be a real bug bear in relationships, driving a wedge between partners and impacting massively on intimacy. You can't spend quality time with a SO who's always glued to their phone can you? It's easy to feel ignored by someone who's always scrolling, scrolling, scrolling...

30. Nothing

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This one might sound strange, but every now and then a fight is about nothing in particular. It escalates, going from 0 to 100 real quick, until neither party can remember how it even started. Of course, these fights aren't actually about nothing- it's just the couple don't know what the real problem is yet...

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