Signs Someone’s Old Friend Needs To Be Cut Out Of Their Life!

1. They ghost you

Image Source: Reddit 

We’ve all been there, you’ve excitedly messaged your bestie with some brilliant gossip or a dilemma that you need advice on ASAP, they read it then... silence. There is nothing worse than that illusive blue tick but no reply from your loved one. If they continue to ghost you on the daily? For your own wellbeing, it’s maybe time to find a new bff.

2. They make you feel small

Image Source: Hub Pages

If your friend is more likely to point out that new pimple on your chin than your gorgeous new top, you need to get rid. Our own internal monologues will bully us enough thank you very much, we do NOT need a friend making us feel self-conscious as well!

3. It’s all about them

Image Source: Reddit

Have you ever tried to tell a group of friends a story and one of them keeps interrupting with their own news or even making your story about them? Annoying right? If it feels like your friend never wants to hear about you and is only interested in making you a listening ear for their own problems, that sadly isn’t someone who is benefitting your life. You deserve to be listened to too!

4. You can’t trust them

Image Source: Reddit

There is little worse than thinking you can trust someone with a personal or strictly confidential piece of information then finding out they have let it slip to people you know. Trust is a cornerstone of all long lasting and healthy relationships, without being able to confide in your loved ones, how can you possibly feel secure? No excuses on this one: if you can’t trust them, they have to go!

5. They're never happy for you

Image Source: Reddit

When you truly love your friends, their win is your win. We all know how exciting it is when a friend that has been working hard for a long time finally gets the promotion they have been dreaming of, it’s time to celebrate! But if your friend seems to never be happy for you and tries to pull you down instead, that is not a friend you need.

6. You don’t share the same values

Image Source: British Assessment Bureau

No one is necessarily at fault with this one, it’s just a fact of life that not everyone’s values and beliefs line up. As much as it is equally true that our differences can be what make a friendship even more exciting and well-rounded, sometimes we just aren’t compatible. If you feel you can’t live a life truly aligned with your core values because of a friend's opposing beliefs – maybe you're just not the perfect match.

7. They drain your energy

Image Source: Reddit

Don’t get me wrong, I was very much team Edward back in the day but there is no room for emotional vampires in our friendships! A great friend should recharge your social battery, not drain it. Whether they're always try to depress you, constantly complaining or battering you with loud, fake positivity, if you leave them feeling you have no energy left, they are not for you.

8. They've betrayed you

Image Source: Reddit

Many of us sadly know the gut-wrenching feeling of discovering a friend has done something purposefully cruel. If it's a one-off, forgiving your friend can be a difficult but ultimately healing decision. But if the betrayal is serious or if it has happened multiple times, they do not deserve your friendship going forwards.

9. They isolate you

Image Source: Business Insider

If your friend gets angry when you spend time with other friends and family or even your partner, that's not healthy. Even the best friendships need breathing space and room for you to do the things you love without them tracking your every move. If you feel trapped in a controlling friendship, be sure to talk to loved ones and ask for help, your wellbeing is the most important thing.

10. They steal your peace

Image Source: Reddit

Everyone has someone in their life that lives for the drama. This person can often be the most fun to be around on a night out- making little things seem exciting and boring gossip seem scandalous. Equally though, if they're starting to make your life into one constant drama it's just not worth it, sometimes you just have to protect your own peace.

11. They're toxic

Image Source: Business Insider

As exciting as Britney made us believe toxic relationships were in the early 2000’s, in real life they're just not worth your energy. If you are honest with yourself and you have a friend that makes you feel so awful that you are happy when they cancel your plans, you already know what you have to do...

12. They're selfish with their money

Image Source: Reddit

Now I know that addressing this with a friend can be a very awkward conversation, but if you're the one always treating them to that coffee on the way to your yoga class or the one to always pay for fuel or dinners out and they never reciprocate, that isn’t a great trait in a friend. We all go through difficult seasons with our finances but if this is the case there needs to be open communication, so you are not left feeling taken advantage of in your generosity.

13. They make fun of you

Image Source: Reddit

It’s a horrible feeling when you've been vulnerable and shared an interest or hobby with a friend and they make you feel embarrassed about it. A little joking around is fun, but if crosses over into bullying you need to make a change. You deserve to be encouraged; your quirks are what make you such a brilliant and unique person.

14. They put you in danger

Image Source: Reddit

A little danger and risk can be what makes life fun but if that is all that your friendship is based on, it sadly won’t have a long shelf-life. If your friend  wants to pressure you into doing things that make you uneasy, they are not a good fit for you. You need to be cared for and if they would prefer risk to your safety, it’s a no from me.

15. They lie

 

Image Source: Reddit

It’s an odd feeling, finding out that something a loved one has told you was a lie, it can leave you feeling betrayed. A one-off white lie can be worked through in a friendship but if your bestie is compulsively lying to you, how can you possibly trust them? Take this opportunity to tell them the truth: that you deserve better!

16. Everything is a competition

Image Source: Berkshire Live

You know how it goes: if you've been to Tenenrife, they've been to Eleven-a-rife. A bit of healthy competition can help us succeed, but that applies on the running track NOT in your friendships! If your bff if constantly trying to one-up you, they clearly aren’t very secure in their own abilities. In a strong friendship, there needs to be encouragement on both sides and if they only want to win, they are eventually going to lose a great friend.

17. They lack empathy

Image Source: Reddit

Empathy is crucial in a healthy friendship, you need someone who is supportive and caring, who tries their best to empathize with your situation so they can hold your hand through it. If you feel like you are boring or irritating your friend when you share personal struggles with them, or they are instantly dismissive when you try to be open, you need to find yourself some better friends my friend!

18. Toxic positivity

Image Source: Daily Mail

We all love to feel happy and optimistic, but have you ever met someone who is so intensely sunshine-y, it makes you feel all rain clouds and lightning? If your friend tries to put a positive spin on everything, even genuinely tragic events in your life, that is just as unhealthy as constant negativity. You need a friend who can share your joy but also sit with you in your disappointments without telling you to ‘just cheer up’.

19. They're a fair-weather friend

Image Source: Happier Human

Everyone has one, a friend that appears when life is good and then becomes untraceable for 5-10 working weeks. These people can be a lovely addition to your life if you are happy to take them for what they are. Keep this flighty friend as an acquaintance, sure, but for your own peace of mind don’t promote them to bestie no.1 any time soon.

20. They don’t respect your boundaries

Image Source: Reddit

Maybe you need alone time after a long day of socializing, or perhaps you want to keep your social life and work life separate Whatever it is, if it's an easy fix that doesn’t hurt anyone else, you should feel confident setting these boundaries up in your friendships. If your friends refuse to respect what you need and repeatedly overstep, they clearly don’t want what’s best for you.

21. They manipulate you

Image Source: Reddit

Have you ever found yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in thinking ‘wait, didn’t I say no to this weeks ago?’. Being persuasive is one thing but if your friend is able and willing to guilt-trip, truth twist and manipulate you into doing what they want, when they want, it’s time to run in the opposite direction.

22. They never say sorry

Image Source: Reddit

Even the best, most caring friends make mistakes and, intentionally or not, can do or say something that warrants an apology. We all know Sir Elton John sang ‘Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word’ but at the end of the day, he’s a multi-platinum recording artist and your friend is just some guy*. They need to learn to respect you enough to apologize.*Unless your friend actually is Elton John, in which case forget everything I've written and tell him I love him xoxox

23. They never remember your birthday

Image Source: Reddit

When we've a lot going on it can be easy for things to slip our minds, But, if someone is repeatedly forgetting things that are important to you (birthdays, Christmas gifts, events that are mean a lot to you)... is it maybe possible they just don’t care enough? And if so, why should you?

24. You have outgrown each other

Image Source: Reddit

It’s a sad fact of life that nothing stays the same forever and people grow up. A friendship that was formed over a shared love of baseball as pre-teens might naturally fizzle once you are both in office jobs and more interested in picking the colour palate for your new kitchen than trying to make a home run. Just because you have been friends for a long time doesn’t mean you have to stay that way if the relationship isn’t serving you anymore.

25. You can't count on them

Image Source: Reddit

To feel stable and secure in any relationship, we need to know that we can rely on the other person. Whether that's to arrive on time when they are the only other person you know at an event, to show up for you when you need that extra support or just being generally available for a chat or some good advice. If your friend can’t be there for you, who can?

26. They disrespect your loved ones

Image Source: Reddit

It’s impossible for everyone to get along with everyone, I get that, but what is possible is to have mutual respect. Your friend should understand that your loved ones are important to you, so they should be respected and visa versa. No friend should be being rude or talking dirt about your family or partner. Repeat after me: ‘I deserve better’.

27. They take advantage of you

Image Source: Bored Panda 

Are you that person who is always there when they need you and will drop everything to care for and uplift your friends? Yep? I’m guessing then that you are also the friend who has to deal with all their own issues on top of that because most of your friends won’t do the same for you? Thought so. If your friends aren't reciprocating your kindness, they are not worth your energy.

28. They try to steal your partner

Image Source: Sussex Insider

Do I really need to explain this one? Sadly, too many of us have had the thought pop into our heads at a social occasion: ‘is my friend really flirting with my boyfriend right now?!’. If your bff’s defence is that they ‘are just naturally flirty’, they need to take a hike. That's your relationship and they need to respect that. And if your partner is flirting back? Well, you are better off without both of them!

29. They just won’t communicate

Image Source: Reddit

You have heard it in every self-help book since the 90’s and for once they have it completely right: ‘Communication is Key’. Every one of these points could essentially be solved by honest and open communication with your bestie. Tell them how you feel and properly listen to their reply. It just might save a beautiful friendship.

30. When you know, you know

Image Source: Reddit

Essentially it all comes down to this, there is only so much fixing and emotional labour you can do before hitting complete friendship burnout. If you know in your heart that a friendship is over, it’s time to put yourself first for once and say goodbye. You’ve got this.