Signs He Is Keeping A Secret

Avoiding eye contact

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People keep secrets for a variety of reasons, and it is not always a sign of something suspicious/negative. Below, is a list of signs that your partner may be keeping a secret from you. They may avoid looking you in the eyes, as maintaining eye contact can be challenging, when keeping a secret.

Increased defensiveness

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He may become more defensive and/or evasive, when you ask him questions about certain topics. This kind of behavior can vary in severity, and reactions may be unpredictable (dependent on the questions you are asking). Again, this may not be a sign of suspicious/negative behavior, but it is important to take note of.

Changes in communication

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Changes in your communication with him may alter slightly, and he may become more vague/reserved within your day-to-day conversations. He may withdraw slightly when certain topics come up in conversation, avoiding the need to answer specific questions, or he may shut-off completely.

Inconsistencies in his story

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When he does answer more probing questions, you may find that he is inconsistent with his stories/answers. His stories and explanations may not add up, or they have a tendency to change frequently. The stories will typically alter at different points, and when he is conversing with different people.

Overcompensating

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Overcompensating will consist of him trying too hard to convince you that everything is fine, when in reality you feel that something is askew. This can be done in a variety of ways, including: attempting to distract you from necessary conversations, and trying to win back your affection.

Excessive nervousness

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Excessive nervousness is a common tell-tale sign that someone is lying, as they will become anxious and fidgety, at the mention of certain topics. He may start pacing around the room, bouncing his legs, playing with his hands and avoiding eye contact (among many other things).

Sudden secrecy

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He begins to keep certain aspects of his life/activities hidden from you, and refuses to explain what he is doing. This sudden secrecy will happen unexpectedly, and can be pretty easy to identify, once you notice a change in his general behavior/actions.

Avoidance of certain topics

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Avoidance of certain topics is extremely common with people keeping secrets, as they will do whatever they can, to avoid discussing particular topics and issues. This avoidance can be subtle or painstakingly obvious, dependent on the person's personality and situation.

Increased privacy

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He will become more protective of his phone, computer and personal space, refusing to give you any sort of access to them. This is highly suspicious behavior, but it doesn't necessarily signal negative actions/outcomes e.g. cheating, adultery and lying.

Changes in behavior

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His behavior may change (noticeably) when he's around certain people, or within specific situations. This change can be brought on by potential stressors and impactful factors, such as: the mention of certain topics, the presence of certain groups of people and unfamiliar settings.

Deflection

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Deflection is a common tactic used by people keeping a secret, and they will try to divert the conversation's focus away from themselves, or the topic in question. This is a common occurrence within a group setting, as there are more potential questions being thrown at them.

Unusual patterns

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Unusual patterns, refers to him behaving in a way that is completely out-of-character. This will vary from man-to-man, and is not something that can be identified quickly/straight away. It can be much more gradual, and can worsen over longer durations of time.

Lack of enthusiasm

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If he is showing a lack of enthusiasm or interest in topics he used to be passionate about, it is possible that he is keeping a secret from you. It can be difficult to identify this, but it will typically present itself via a withdrawn attitude, and dismissive attitude.

Changes in routine

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His daily routine or habits may alter without explanation, which can link back to increased secrecy and need for privacy. These changes will typically be quite subtle, but they may have a negative impact on your relationship and shared interests/activities.

Frequent secrecy

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He will frequently have whispered conversations or phone calls, when you're not around. This means he will wait until you're at work, or away from him in general, to speak with particular people. These people may be people you know, or more commonly, people you are unaware of.

Increased sensitivity

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He will become more sensitive or defensive, when you question him about his actions or whereabouts. This links back to an increase in generalized defensive actions, and a more secretive attitude. He may retaliate with anger, or emotional outburst that are completely unpredictable.

Unexplained absences

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He may have unaccounted-for periods of time, when you're not sure where he is or what he is doing. This is something that can start off gradually, and progress into drawn-out durations of time, where you are unsure of his whereabouts and/or activities.

Hesitation

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When asking him certain questions, he may begin to hesitate before answering. This development of hesitation is often associated with excessive nervousness, but it can be due to a range of contributing factors e.g. who is asking questions, if they're in public, the general setting and the topic being discussed.

Avoiding physical contact

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Some men may begin to avoid any sort of physical contact and intimacy, if they are keeping a secret from you, and this is normally associated with him being unfaithful. This lack of physical contact is rooted in their feelings of guilt, and inability to be truthful.

Guilt/discomfort

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Linking back to the previous point, is an increase in guilt and discomfort when you are together. He may start displaying signs of guilt and discomfort, after keeping a secret from you; for a prolonged duration of time. These signs will vary from man-to-man, and can be surprisingly subtle.

Increased secrecy about his devices

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Going back to the topic of increased privacy, he may start displaying signs of increased secrecy, regarding his devices. This will typically consist of him starting to use passcodes on his devices, as well as changing pre-existing passwords. He may also refuse to allow you any sort of access to his devices e.g. phone.

Closed body language

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Closed body language is a clear physical signal of someone keeping a secret, especially if a sensitive subject is being discussed. This kind of body language is used to create a physical barrier between you, including crossing their arms, turning away from you and lowering their head.

Emotional distance

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Emotional distancing is another common sign of secrecy, as they attempt to distance themselves from you, and become increasingly unavailable (emotionally, mentally and physically). Over a long period of time, this sort of behavior will worsen, until the relationship completely breaks down.

Frequent trips/outings

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In order to avoid any sort of confrontation, and/or questioning regarding changes in behavior, a man will begin taking frequent trips/outings without providing details. They can go so far as to disable their device's location, so you're unable to track their precise whereabouts.

Selective sharing

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He may only share certain aspects of his life, whilst withholding others, especially if you're consistently probing for answers. He can be reluctant to give away specific details of his life, as it could lead to him revealing information that he doesn't want/need you to know.

Over-explaining

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When questioning about his actions and behavior, he may resort to over-explaining his actions, and attempting to justify why he has behaved in that particular way. This can be triggered by several stressors, increased anxiety and excessive nervousness.

Changes in spending habits

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Changes in his spending habits, especially without clear reasoning, can be a clear signal of secrets being kept from you. This is pretty common with bigger purchases; which are usually made from a personal account, not a shared account. You may see an increase in his use of a credit card as well.

Increased secrecy with friends

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When interacting with certain friends, he may become more secretive about their interactions. This is especially common, when he is spending time with his friends, away from you e.g. nights out, day trips and friend-only vacations (bachelor parties/birthday trips).

Avoiding social events

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Avoiding social events can be a clear sign of your partner keeping secrets from you, especially if they are consistently making excuses to avoid social gatherings. The excuses will vary to begin with, but you will often find that they opt to reuse certain excuses e.g. feeling ill, busy with work and overly tired.

Lack of trust

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If you have a gut feeling that something is off, and you don't fully trust what they are saying or doing, is a pretty strong signal that your partner is keeping secret from you. There are many ways you can confront these feelings, and it is important to use a method that will be the most effective, for the benefit of yourself and your partner.