12+ Signs That Somebody Is Hooking Up With People For The Wrong Reasons

1. Low self-esteem:

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Low self-esteem is often one of the most common reasons why people hook up for the wrong reason. Low self-esteem makes you feel as though you aren't good enough or worthy, which instead of leading to lasting relationships can lead to hookups which can make you feel worse!

2. They have not found an emotional connection:

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Sometimes if somebody hasn't managed to find an emotional connection they then try to fill this void with hookups. But hookups can something feel unfulfilling and meaningless which will lead to the feeling that someone cannot find an emotional connection being exacerbated even more.

3. Scared of commitment:

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Another reason why someone may be having lots of hookups for the wrong reason is because they are scared of commitment. They may be scared to fully commit to someone, either because they don't want to get hurt or they don't want to hurt someone else.

4. Suffering from heartbreak:

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We've all been there when we're going through heartbreak and we just want something to alleviate the feeling. Some people try and mask this feeling by engaging in hookups so that they do not have to dwell on the real heartache they are facing. They may even hope the hookup will permanently make them feel better.

5. To make someone jealous:

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Hooking up to make someone jealous is really not the right reason, however, it is one of the most common reasons that people hook up without the right intention! They may have been hurt by someone recently or want to make someone that they like jealous to get their attention!

6. Peer pressure:

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Another terrible reason for a hookup is when someone is adhering to peer pressure! They do it because they feel pressured by friends to do something to keep up or fit in with the people around them, rather than doing it. After all, it is what they truly want to do!

7. Seeking validation:

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If you're seeking validation through a hookup, not only is it the wrong reason to do it, it's probably going to make you feel worse. Some people are looking for external validation and want to feel wanted, hence why they engage in a hookup! But validation is better coming from self-acceptance!

8. They are seeking revenge:

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Then there are those people who hook up with someone because they are seeking revenge....possibly one of the WORST ever reasons to hook up. But, if someone has been seriously hurt by someone they may hook up with someone that they feel will truly hurt that person back!

9. As a distraction from their problems:

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When we are consumed by our own worries and problems it can lead us to trying any outlet we can to try and distract ourselves from what's is really happening. But hooking up may distract you for a brief moment, and then the reality will come crashing back down. First, you need to work through the problem, not just try to distract yourself.

10. Trying to fit in:

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You may have an inkling that somebody is hooking up with someone for the wrong reasons, and one reason could be that they are trying to fit in. If they feel like the people around them are doing the same, they may try to do the same to feel like they are fitting in!

11. Masking how they feel

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Sometimes you've just got to face up to how you truly feel, although we realize that this can be SUPER hard. And, at the time, masking how you feel can feel like a much easier and more appealing option. But using a hookup to mask how you feel will never truly work!

12. To gain social status:

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Some people also hook up to gain social status within their peer group. In some situations, hookups have been portrayed as cool, or there is some kind of kudos attached to hooking up with people. And so for some people trying to gain social status, hooking up may be one way they try to do this!

13. Fear of intimacy:

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Being intimate requires letting down your walls and connecting to someone on a deeper level. Intimacy is emotional and not just a physical thing. So someone can hook up with someone without allowing any emotional intimacy because they may be scared to do so!

14. They are a serial cheater:

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There are serial cheats out there, no matter who they are in a relationship with, whether it's the love of their life or they've been together for years, they continue to cheat and hook up with someone else. They have hookups because they can't have anything else more serious whilst they're already in a relationship!

15. A lack of respect:

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Hooking up is by no means necessarily a bad thing, it's all about the intention behind it. If someone is hooking up with someone because they have lost respect for themselves in terms of not caring about themselves, or they do not respect the other person...the reason is all wrong.

16. Loneliness:

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Finding a genuine connection can be hard, especially in today's society when so much is online. So there are a lot of people suffering from loneliness. For some people, hooking up is a way to momentarily get rid of this feeling - but it may end up making them feel even lonelier.

17. They are bored:

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Boredom can drive people to make rash decisions, including hookups. If someone's sat at home and wondering what to do they may be craving some attention. And when someone gives it to them they may hook up because they see it as a way to cure their boredom!

18. Impulsivity:

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Impulsivity usually means that not a lot of thought goes into the decision because it has been made so impromptu. Hooking up with someone because they are impulsive could mean that they may regret their decision afterward when they have time to really think about it!

19. To flaunt it to somebody else:

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When there's a super hot guy/girl in college that everyone wants to hook up with it can lead to a slightly toxic chase to be the one who hooks up with them. Hooking up with someone purely to flaunt it to people is among the worst reasons to hook up with a person!

20. For material gain:

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Then, of course, there are those not only with the wrong reason but bad intentions. Some people do use hookups for material gain, whether this is to get treated to an expensive date first or to be bought a present. Some people use manipulation to get something to their gain out of a hookup.

21. Out of pity:

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When some people disclosed the wrong reasons they had hooked up with someone there were accounts of people hooking up out of pity for someone. For example, one guy had taken a girl on a date and she had made a huge effort and he had ended up hooking up out of pity rather than for genuine reasons.

22. To prove a point:

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Proving a point is not the right reason to hook up either, but that doesn't mean that that's not why some people do it! It could be to prove a point that they are desirable, or that they can do what they like, or that they don't listen to other people: whatever narrative they are trying to prove!

23. For a competition:

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At certain phases or places in people's lives, they come across environments, for example, college perhaps, where hooking up is created into some kind of competition. Someone may be hooking up because they are trying to prove a point or to compete with other people!

24. Recklessness:

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Of course, there's the explanation that some people are just outright reckless. And this is the case in some situations where people are hooking up. Some people just engage in reckless behavior for many reasons, for example, because it gives them a thrill!

25. Manipulation tactics:

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It may sound super spiteful that people can hook up with someone for manipulative reasons, but it does happen. In some instances, people will hook up with a person so that they can break up with someone or so that they can annoy a frenemy who hooked up with the same person.

26. Ignoring personal boundaries:

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Another way to spot someone who is hooking up for the wrong reason is to try and decipher if they are ignoring their own personal boundaries. You may wonder why someone would do this, but it's quite common for people to do so for a variety of different reasons!

27. Escapism:

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Escapism...to transport us to feeling something different and to take us to a place that's not our reality. We all do it in some form, whether it's through reading or watching TV or for some people, hookups. It takes you away from your life for a moment as a form of escapism, but it's not the right reason to have a hookup.

28. Self-destructive behaviour:

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As humans sometimes we hit the self-destruct button, we intentionally sabotage our relationships in order to protect ourselves. It's ironic that we're so scared of getting hurt that we sabotage it first so that it can never happen...but that still ends up hurting us. For this reason, a hookup stays a hookup and nothing more.

29. A fear of vulnerability:

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Letting yourself be vulnerable and truly exposing the layers beneath the facade can be terrifying. Some people are so scared of being vulnerable that they never allow anybody to get past the surface layer meaning that they may have hookups rather than significant relationships that require vulnerability to enable true meaning.

30. Hiding behind a persona:

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Some people may be scared to reveal their true selves and open up about who they really are which can lead them to acting as a certain persona. Meaning, that when a person is hiding behind a person they may have hookups solely to play up to this character they have created of themselves.