Daily Struggles That Only Divorcees Will Understand

1. Divorce Stigma

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When people get divorced, one of the things that they might need to contend with is the stigma and societal misconceptions surrounding it.  These might even be inside your own head leading to that fear that people are judging you, leading to feelings of inadequacy or shame for even thinking about the concept.  But it's important to let that go and always do what's best for you.

2. Adjusting to Newness

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When you divorce, you'll no doubt have to face a few big adjustments to your life.  Many divorcees struggle with huge changes to their lives, including new living arrangements changes to social circles, and more, and this unfamiliarity can lead to a sense of loss and disorientation.

3. Emotional Rollercoaster

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Divorce typically brings a fierce whirlwind of emotions, including grief for the loss of the relationship, anger, sadness, anxiety, relief, joy, worry... And these emotions can be incredibly mixed, unexpected, and ever-changing.  It's completely normal to get caught up in an emotional tornado at first, just feel those feelings and let them pass.  And remember to seek support too as you navigate your way out of the storm.

4. Letting Go

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So there's going to be the relationship that you're letting go of, but it's important to think about all of those strong emotions that come with the situation.  You might have a lot of anger, frustration, and pent-up resentment towards the ex, but letting go of this is a critical step in healing and moving forward.

5. Shared Memories

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Your shared memories have a lot of emotional weight.  These could be memories of places or objects that still radiate the presence of the ex-spouse.  It can be difficult to move past them as they might be quite painful as you try to let them go so you're not dwelling in the past.

6. Loss of Mutual Friends

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Unfortunately, when you go through a divorce, those friendships that you shared with your ex-spouse, or even made through them, might fizzle out.  This can be quite emotional and painful because it might feel like a further erasure of the past life that you once shared.

7. Loneliness

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Divorce can also make those going through it feel isolated and perhaps yearning for companionship.  It might also bring up feelings of loneliness when you try to express your feelings, perhaps believing that no one else understands how you truly feel.  Despite this, it's important to seek support and just know that you're not alone during this challenging time.

8. Rebuilding Social Circles

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So feeling lonely and losing old friends doesn't sound like something you want to go through, especially when you're dealing with so many new adjustments and changes in social dynamics.  However, this is the perfect opportunity to put yourself out there and make new friends and connections.  It's hard but so worth the effort.

9. Navigating the Legal World

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Divorce requires some work and understanding of various legal complexities, and it can feel like a total minefield. Understanding the laws and procedures can be incredibly challenging, making the legal process emotionally and mentally taxing. This might have been something you once relied on your partner for, and now you are navigating it alone.

10. Dividing Possessions

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So if you've built up a life together you might have property and assets that you need to divide between you.  This is part of the legal process of divorce and can be contentious and incredibly emotionally charged.  And it can be so difficult to negotiate and compromise when you are right in the middle of an emotional hurricane with lots of strong feelings.

11. Managing Court Dates

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Unfortunately, part of the legal divorce process means that you have to attend legal proceedings, hearings, mediation sessions, and more, and these can be incredibly time-consuming and mentally draining.  They require a lot of emotional investment which can be challenging.

12. Legal Fees

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With divorce also comes a financial burden. This includes covering legal expenses which can be hugely expensive and substantial. Negotiating these, as well as finding the funds can add yet another layer of stress to the whole unfortunate divorce process.

13. Financial Strains

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With the legal fees, there are other aspects of divorce that impact finances including child support if you have kids, as well as the division of assets. This can of course lead to financial stress and strain, as well as creating a level of uncertainty for all involved.

14. Single Income

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The financial impact of divorce might be felt even more heavily due to the single income that each party has to adapt to.  These financial realities of living on one income might require really significant changes in your lifestyle, as well as budgeting more effectively.

15. A New Home

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Amongst all of the changes you have to adapt to when you divorce, you also have to deal with the likelihood of living in a new home.  Even if you don't physically move to a new property, the house will feel different without your ex-spouse and their belongings present.

16. Co Parenting Challenges

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If there are kids involved, there might also be ongoing disputes over child-rearing decisions, custody arrangements, and visitation schedules.  Working together can feel like a strain, especially if there's hurt and anger in the mix, it can be quite a stressful time.

17. Parenting Solo

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Depending on what your parenting situation is, there might be the possibility that you're parenting solo.  Even if you're co-parenting and not single-parenting full-time, there are going to be periods when you're solely responsible for the kids.  Providing emotional support, disciplining, and other parenting responsibilities can be overwhelming in this period of adjustment.

18. Explaining to the Kids

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With children in the family, there is also the dreaded task of explaining to them, sensitively, that you're getting a divorce.  This can be challenging as you navigate ways to explain to them in a careful and age-appropriate way, as well as offering support and reassurance when you're going through a tough time.

19. Balancing Work and Family

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The difficulty of living as a single person on a single income means that working is essential to keep things going.  And juggling the demands of employment alongside the responsibilities of single parenthood often results in a physically and emotionally demanding balancing act.

20. The Name Change

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Traditionally, people take their spouse's name when they are married, which means that if they divorce, another choice has to be made and this has many personal and social implications.  This decision can be a source of conflict both between the parties involved and within yourself too.

21. Finding Your Identity

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So you've been in a marriage for a period of time, and this has to have made up a large part of your identity.  Getting divorced means that people can rediscover their individual identity and interests that have often been set aside during the marriage.  This can be incredibly liberating but sometimes disorienting as well.

22. Personal Growth

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After overcoming the emotional and financial challenges of divorce, some see the period following it as an opportunity for personal growth.  To some, it might be an opportunity for self-improvement and personal development, pursuing new interests, and setting personal goals.

23. Deciding When to Date

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After a period, it's common for people to wonder when it's appropriate to begin to date again.  It's a tough decision that involves emotional readiness, the impact on children, as well as navigating schedules and the complexities that surround new relationships.

24. Reentering the Dating World

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Once you've decided that you're going to reenter the dating world, when it comes to it, this can bring a whole heap of new challenges.  There are perhaps trust issues, vulnerability, as well as those intrusive thoughts and concerns about repeating the same mistakes again.

25. Coordinating Schedules

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When you have shared responsibilities, like children, coordinating schedules can be an ongoing source of stress and frustration.  The intricacies of managing work, parenting, and personal time, while adapting to a new daily routine AND considering your ex-spouse's schedule if you're co-parenting can be exhausting!

26. Emotional Triggers

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After going through such an emotional rollercoaster, there's absolutely no doubt that you'll encounter some emotional triggers in your time.  These could be places, songs, certain situations, and other things that can trigger memories of the past, leading to yet more emotional turbulence.

27. Uncertainty about the Future

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When it comes to divorce, and the huge adjustments in life that come with it, there is a chance that you'd have to face dealing with the ambiguity and fear of what lies ahead.  This can be in terms of financial stability and personal relationships and can cause anxiety and insecurity.

28. Emotional Scars

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There might be many lingering emotional wounds, such as mistrust, self-doubt, insecurity, and low self-esteem.  These can be triggered by memories, or just be the aftermath of the challenging period.  They might be distressing and might affect your ability to move forward with confidence.

29. Seeking Support

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With all of this change happening, including the disruption to your social circles, it can be difficult to know who to turn to for emotional support.  It's important to know that you don't have to do it all alone and turning to friends, family members, or even professionals to get the help you need for coping with the emotional toll of divorce is important for your healing and growth.

30. Healing & Moving Forward

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The ongoing process of emotional recovery, personal growth, and the pursuit of a fulfilling and meaningful life after divorce can be extremely challenging, at least to begin with.  But finding the right support, prioritizing your healing journey, and moving forward will be ultimately rewarding.