30 Things That Are Never The Same After A Loved One Dying

1. Your perspective changes forever

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When you lose a loved one your whole perspective shifts. Suddenly you see life in a brand new way. You've faced the scariest thing of all, someone that you're close to, dying. Now all of the menial things you used to value and the things you worried about seem small in relation.

2. You value your loved ones EVEN more

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It makes you cling to your living loved ones even more because you realize that you never know where life will lead or how long you have with the people closest to you. Your love feels a lot more intense and spending time with them feels even more valuable.

3. You become scarily aware of how fragile life is

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Although we're aware of the cycle of life, it doesn't truly sink in until we deal with a loved one passing away. Only then do you become frighteningly aware of just how fragile life is, that one moment you can be with someone, and the next they can be gone forever!

4. Your priorities totally shift

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The essay you were stressing about, the office gossip you were worrying over, and the pile of laundry you've been thinking about suddenly seem so unimportant. You realize that priorities are looking after you and your loved ones and enjoying time together.

5. Your emotions can feel all over the place

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It is absolutely normal for grief to affect people in different ways and for your emotions to be all over the place. One minute you could feel okay and the next you can be a blubbering mess. This is normal, in fact, your emotions may feel sensitive for some time to come. They could even be changed forever!

6. You may feel like your security has been shaken

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Often we take life for granted until something happens like losing a loved one that shakes us up severely. We then realize that none of us are as secure as we felt. The sense of security we have going through life never feels as stable after such an experience.

7. How you spend your time

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How you want to spend your time will probably change forever after losing a loved one. Where before you may have spent several hours lounging around doing next to nothing, now you'll feel like using your time more wisely. You'll want to go to the place you always wanted to go to or spend your time with the people you value the most doing something fun.

8. Relationships and friendships never feel the same

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One of the only experiences in life that truly teaches us who is there for us is when we lose someone we love. You then see who are the people that are around you, supporting you during your worst time. After that, your bond is solidified in ways it couldn't have been before. As for the people who weren't there... you realize who is a fair-weathered friend!

9. The way you view yourself can change

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Not only will losing a loved one makes you view other people in entirely new ways, but you'll also see yourself in a whole new light. You've gone through such an upheaval and you managed to get through it. Yes, you will have suffered and you won't feel yourself for a while, but you know that you're capable of getting through the dark times!

10. Your communication will be a lot more open and expressive

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So many people struggle with opening up about how they feel. It feels upset and vulnerable to express our emotions. But when you lose a loved one this changes forever because it hits you hard just how important it is to TELL people how much you love them, before it's too late!

11. It's hard to shift the loneliness

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Nobody is ever the same again after losing a loved one. And one emotion that you'll probably feel a lot more than you did before is loneliness. Even if you have other loved ones, there will be a void that can never be replaced that sometimes leaves you feeling lonely.

12. Your dreams and aspirations may change forever

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What you dreamt of before your loved one died may change completely after they passed away. Our dreams are sometimes quite self-focused until we are shaken by the worst experience: death. After going through such an experience our aspirations are often much more family/people-focused!

13. The way you view people

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Sometimes losing a loved one can make us more selective about who we spend time with. For example, the friend that checked in on you to see how you were doing you know value more than ever. The friends that waited until you were out of the darkest moments to ask if you wanted to go for a drink are people you think much less of now.

14. You become so much more compassionate

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Death is such a hard experience but often it makes us into better people. It's like our eyes are opened to the fact that people are all going through something, and we view people in a much more compassionate way. You never know who is dealing with the same situation as you, and that has a profound effect that changes you forever.

15. How you love

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People love in all different kinds of ways. But you'll never love the same way after losing someone because you realize that loving people is the best thing we can do, but it can also cause the most pain. You may love the people closest to you even harder, but you may be reticent about inviting new people to love in case you lose them.

16. What you put your emotional energy into

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Physical energy replenishes itself as soon as we sleep and recover. Emotional energy takes a lot longer to repair and heal. We don't have an infinite amount, and after losing a loved one you realize who it is that you want to invest your emotional energy into.

17. You realize that life's too short to hold grudges

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Forgiveness is SUPER hard to do and it's something that we may have to work at to be able to do it. But after the passing of someone you love, you realize that life is short and holding onto grudges is a complete waste of precious time. The best thing to do is give forgiveness freely.

18. You find a new resilience that you didn't have before

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After losing a loved one you've probably faced things that you never thought you could deal with. And even the times when it felt like the grief was overbearing, you managed to get through it. That kind of resilience is something that you keep with you forever!

19. You'll never have the same assurance in life again

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For quite some time, or even forever, you never feel assured in life again. Everything feels like it's been blown into the air and that nothing is certain anymore. The path you thought you were leading now feels unclear and the  choice you were planning to make feels uncertain!

20. Regrets will become prominent

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No matter how much time you spent (or didn't) with your loved one before they died, there will always be something you wish you could have done. Perhaps you wish you told them one last time 'I love you', or that you had had more memories and time to share together.

21. Memories are so much more precious

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But, the memories that you do have together will be ones that you cherish forever. And they will be so much more precious and important after their death and this will never change. Those memories will become ingrained in your brain so that you never forget.

22. Knowing you're stronger than you think

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You are so much stronger than you think and if you've lost a loved one you've probably proved to yourself how strong you are. Strength isn't measured in how emotional you are. You can break down and cry and still be super strong; getting through it is the strength!

23. Traditions become stronger

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The things you did with your loved one will now become traditions that you do forever. If watching a Christmas movie on December 1st was your thing, that's now a tradition you will carry on. And these are lovely ways to remind you of them and keep their legacy alive.

24. Anxiety may become a more prominent feeling in your life

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Some people find that after death their anxiety increases. The pain of losing a loved one translates into fear of losing another loved one and that is something that does not go away. You now know just how precious life is, and you feel anxious about your loved ones around you.

25. You truly know who you can rely on

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One positive that comes from such a sad situation is really knowing who you can rely on. To be able to know who will be there for you through these kinds of times is really important. It creates a sense of security in knowing who is there to support you no matter what.

26. Anniversaries and dates hurt forever

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We all know the somewhat cliche but nevertheless true saying that 'time is a healer', and there is a lot of accuracy in the statement. But special dates and anniversaries are still going to hit hard every year. With time, the pain will fade but their birthday will always be a painful reminder!

27. You'll no longer want to put energy into meaningless relationships

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After discovering the hard way that life is short, you suddenly become much more aware of how you're spending your time and who with. Meaningless relationships that you don't cherish will fade away as you realize that you don't want to put your time and love into these kinds of relationships!

28. Their possessions become super precious

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When someone is alive their possessions are fairly meaningless, just things that can be replaced. But when the person has gone and possessions are all that remain, these are the things we cling on to as reminders of them. These suddenly become precious and remain that way forever.

29. Future plans feel less certain

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Making future plans has a feeling of uncertainty after losing someone we love. There's nothing that can shake your life more than losing someone you care about. And it puts your whole world into perspective, particularly of the thought that nobody truly knows what will happen, ever!

30. 'If only' becomes an intrusive thought

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If only I had more time with them. If only we hadn't had that fight one time. If only I'd expressed to them how much they mean to me. 'If only' can become an intrusive thought that you have to work hard not to allow it to infiltrate your thoughts, otherwise it can consume you with negativity.