Here Is Why Men Never Actually Fall In Love
By Anna Collins
11 months ago
1. They are only bothered about the initial chemistry
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Men often get caught up in the physical attraction. They view physicality as the most important part. If they do not feel the initial chemistry and the sexual chemistry between them, they've already made up their mind that they won't pursue this anymore!2. Once the chase is over...they get bored
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We all know that men love the chase. It's been linked to a man's primal instinct, or is it just the fact that men get bored too easily? Who knows. But it seems to be true that when the chase is over for many men, they stop pursuing the woman altogether!3. They don't get emotions involved for a long time
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Women often get emotionally attached quicker than men. For men, it's a seriously slow burner. They don't get feelings involved for a long time. And sometimes it's too late. We can't hang around forever, can we? Sometimes the relationship is over before men start to get emotions involved.4. They say things they don't mean
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I bet we've all been on the receiving end of this. Men often tell us what they think we WANT to hear, rather than the truth. So, they may say that they're into us...even when they aren't. And when their actions don't match up with their words, we aren't going to stick around!5. They move too quickly
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Men sometimes act on how they think they should be acting, rather than acting on how they feel. This can lead to a man asking for a woman to be his girlfriend, way before he's ready to take that step. Moving too quickly can have the opposite effect, making a man retreat, rather than fall in love.6. Men do not link sex with love
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There have been multiple scientific and social studies on how men and women view sex. It is largely thought that men view sex with pleasure, rather than emotional intimacy. And for women, it is generally thought that they associate it with feelings and that when a woman gets intimate they develop stronger feelings which can lead to discrepancies!7. They aren't emotionally mature!
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Look, it may sound like a stereotype, but a lot of guys just aren't emotionally mature. Or, it takes them a lot longer to emotionally mature. And a woman generally isn't going to be attracted to a man who doesn't even know his feelings and can't express them.8. They need to see you as a friend too
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A man falls in love with a woman when he also views her as a friend. A man emotionally connects on a friendship basis and needs this alongside a romantic connection and physical attraction. Although, if a man sees you as a friend FIRST, it can lead to the dreaded friend zone...9. They can't communicate their emotions
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We've all been at the brunt of men who cannot express their emotions. The prime example; just compare a card written by a man and a woman...it explains a lot. When men can't express their emotions it means that as a woman, we emotionally check out too because we don't feel loved or wanted!10. They don't know what they need from a partner
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When a man doesn't know what he needs from a partner, he can't express this, and he then can't feel fulfilled in a relationship. Without communication, we have no idea what they need to make the relationship an environment where love can grow and blossom!11. They have a negative view of love
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For some reason, popular culture has made 'love' to be something yearned for by a woman, and repulsive or unattractive to men. This view has given many younger men a view that life isn't something that they should want or need...which of course means that it is less likely to happen to them!12. Their ego gets in the way
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We all know men who let their egos get in the way of pursuing the woman that they could fall in love with. Men often want to be chased by a woman, or they want to feel wanted to feel good about themselves. When a woman isn't giving those signs, a man sometimes gives up because of his ego.13. They're preoccupied with maintaining an image
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Sometimes men have an image of themselves that they like to portray to their friends or peers. They may see themselves as 'too cool' to be in love, or they may want the image of the 'baby boy; who can't be pinned down with a woman. But they also can't fall in love!14. The fear of rejection
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Nobody likes rejection. It's a fear that we all have. But men seem to have this strong feeling of rejection which can prevent them from acting or pursuing something, to begin with. If something doesn't even start, there's nowhere for it to go and a man cannot fall in love.15. They fear commitment
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Men and commitment don't exactly go hand in hand. There seems to be a fear of commitment from men that's not as apparent in women. Men have a fear when taking the first step (or any stage in fact) is this really what they want? Am I tying myself down?16. Society's toxic masculinity
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The view of toxic masculinity is definitely something that doesn't allow men to fall in love. This view that a man has to be strong, dominant, and have a negative view of women means that men don't fall in love. They don't let themselves feel their emotions.17. Men are very visual
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Men are more focused on visuals, so what a woman looks like. Women, of course, are attracted to visually appealing men but they prize personality and emotional connection more. The visual appeal of men can stop them from developing a deep enough bond to fall in love with the person, not the appearance.18. They crave attention from multiple girls to feel secure
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Some men seek security and self-assurance through the approval of women. So, they feel the need to have lots of attention. Choosing one woman, committing to them, and falling in love aren't on the radar of a man who is still chasing the attention of multiple girls at once.19. They hate feeling vulnerable
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Feeling vulnerable is uncomfortable for anyone. But men in particular hate this feeling of being vulnerable and exposing themselves to emotion which should allow them to get hurt. But if you do not let yourself be vulnerable, there's no chance of falling in love!20. They have had bad past experiences which have hurt them
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There's scientific research that suggests women get over bad experiences from the past better than men. So when a man has been hurt, they want to avoid anything that can do it again. If a man has been hurt by a woman, they may close themselves off entirely from love.21. They don't take the initiative
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Sometimes men need a little bit of a push when it comes to love because they often struggle to take the initiative. They may not want to take the first step and sometimes their hesitance can mean that they don't take the plunge, and so they don't have the opportunity to fall in love.22. They want to be independent
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There's no saying that you can't be independent in a relationship, in fact, you should still have your independence! But sometimes men get scared that a relationship will take away their independence and they don't like the thought of having to think about someone else other than themselves.23. They're a player
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One of the most obvious reasons why men don't fall in love is that some men are simply just players. They don't want one woman, they want multiple women. They don't want to get to the serious stage they just want a string of short romantic encounters.24. They're more focused on themselves
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Women are more social and emotional creatures, meaning that other people's emotions are often t the forefront of their minds. Men are more self-focused in general, meaning that they focus on themselves and sometimes they struggle to switch this mentality meaning that they cannot think about their romantic partner's needs and feelings.25. They have a strong focus on career
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Whilst many women may want to fall in love, have a family, AND have a successful career, some men are just focused on career only. This can prevent them from falling in love as they may not put any time aside to actually focus on developing their personal life.26. They have the limited emotional vocabulary
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Sometimes even when a man knows how he feels about you, he can't express it. Some men don't have the emotional vocabulary to express how they feel about you. But this can stop love from developing on both sides. It will limit how you grow and feel about one another because neither party thinks the other one cares.27. They don't want to be ridiculed for not being a 'man's man
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For some reason, younger generations of men have decided that being a 'man's man', means that they cannot fall in love, be happy, and have a fairy-tale romance. They have decided that a man's man rejects any kind of meaningful and loving relationship with a woman.28. They're more focused on immediate fun
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Men love immediate gratification. They seek pleasure and fun immediately, rather than putting in the effort to something that could grow into something amazing. They may prefer the kind of party lifestyle, going out with their friends and seeking out girls, rather than putting effort into a relationship where they could fall in love.29. They don't realize their feelings in time
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Not only do men take longer to develop their feelings but they also take longer to even realize their feelings, meaning that sometimes by the time they do, it's too late! Women like a man who is in touch with their emotions, and if he's not reciprocating these feelings she might not stick around!30. They panic when a woman expresses their feelings
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When men hear the love word, the 'what are we', or even anything to do with feelings...they PANIC. Men are scared of women getting feelings for them when they don't know if they feel the same. And when they hear a woman express her feelings and they're not yet at that point...they may run for it.31. Why does he keep you around if he doesn't love you? He's just in it for the physical
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The most common reason can be because he's using you as a booty call! If you've already been intimate, it makes sense why he'd just continue on with that arrangement, while you might be thinking it's leading to something more, he might be thinking he just wants to continue getting his physical needs met.32. He wants the emotional support without commitment
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But it might not be only about the physical for him - he still might feel some emotional connection, but not want the huge commitment of having that with love and a relationship. He might just need someone to talk to and a shoulder to lean on, and you can be filling that gap when he needs it.33. You're a cure for his boredom
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He might be someone who thrives on being around other people and doesn't do well when he's on his own or has nothing to do. If he knows you'll answer his calls and texts, as well as want to meet up to do something fun, he's going to use you as a cure for that boredom!34. He doesn't want the relationship 'drama'
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He wants all the benefits, without the 'drama'. Of course, drama doesn't always have to happen in relationships, but it's more the idea of the work he'd have to put in if you were upset about something, or making the big decisions as a couple. He doesn't want to have think too much about your ups and downs.35. He doesn't want to hurt you
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It may be that he wants out, doesn't love you back and doesn't want to commit, but he doesn't want to hurt you - so he's keeping you around to still give the idea of 'something' without him officially breaking it off. But it's all a sort of limbo that's not leading anywhere.36. It's platonic, not romantic
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It can actually make a nice change if a guy genuinely sees you as a friend and still wants you in his life, rather than crying about being in the "friend zone" when he was never your friend to begin with. There's a chance he only feels platonic affection for you, but worried you'll leave if he says that, so having you around is better than not at all.37. He's taking advantage of you paying for things
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It might not all be about money - he may still enjoy your company, but it's a nice bonus if you're always willing to pay for things because you want to see him, and who is he to argue with that? He likes you paying for things because it means he gets to do them for free.38. He uses you for something he couldn't have without you
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It might not always be about paying for things either - you may have access to something he wants, or have influence he needs. Maybe you have important friends in careers he wants to break into. Maybe you have a vacation house by the lake that he knows he'll use when you go there together.39. He thinks he might find something better
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A lot of men are scared to commit because they have this fear that they could find something better, and don't want to 'settle'. Refusing to fall in love with you or commit to you means he's available for 'bigger and better' things should they come along - but in the meantime, he can have his emotional and physical needs met by you.40. That ol' fear of commitment!
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It may actually be that he has a genuine fear of love and commitment, because maybe he lacks self esteem, thinks it won't work out, thinks he'll hurt you, or even that you'll hurt him. He's having you around for the company, but he's not going to commit because that thought scares him too much.41. He might be trying to understand his identity
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It could be that he's still trying to work out his own sexual identity and what he likes and doesn't like. He might be dating you either because he's seeing how it feels, or thinking that kind of relationship fits more into what people expect of him. It's more like an experiment than love in his eyes.42. He just wants something casual
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Some people have fully admitted to themselves that they can't do the whole serious love thing, and they just want relationships to be completely casual. The problem starts when they know that, but the other person (you) doesn't! Having something casual is fine if you both know that!43. He might have A LOT of baggage
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There could be something completely holding him back where it isn't you that's the problem. He might have come out of something abusive, have trauma from past relationships, something in his past holding him back... anything that means he can keep you around without opening up to love.44. He has no clue what he wants
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It might just be that he has no clue what he wants - does he want to be single? In a relationship? Is he ready for love? He might think he doesn't want to be single, but now doesn't know whether he wants to take the next step in a relationship. He could be keeping you hanging on while he works it all out.45. He just doesn't think about 'love'
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Some people might just not be programmed for love. Maybe he cares about you as much as he's possibly able to, and would stay with you for companionship, but just doesn't think he'd ever love anybody in that way. Maybe it's one of those where he won't know until it happens.46. It's just more convenient this way
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Staying this way and keeping you around is just a whole more convenient than it getting messy him trying to tell you the truth and hurting your feelings. It's also more convenient for him to have you on speed dial when he wants to go somewhere or hook up rather than the inconvenience of having no one.47. He's hung up about an ex
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You might be the rebound after a messy breakup with an ex, or a situation where he got his heart broken. Maybe he's trying to make his ex jealous, or he's just not doing well on his own after splitting with his ex so you're there to fill the void while he works through his feelings (or ignores them).48. You're not the only person he's seeing
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He might be really enjoying playing the field, and you're only one of many people he's seeing right now. If that's the case, he doesn't have time for love or exclusivity, because he's too busy multi-tasking. And if he doesn't consider you worth seeing exclusively, love is unlikely.49. It's too much pressure
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The idea of love and commitment is just way too much pressure for some people, which is why he's avoiding it altogether. He likes the way things are without that pressure, so he can enjoy being with you and doing stuff together without that scary next step - and all the burden that comes with it.50. It's a status/social thing
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It could also be because he cares about appearances - he wants other people to think he's in a happy and loving relationship with a cool partner because it makes him look good, and makes him look successful. He keeps you around so you can go to parties together and on double dates and so everyone can see him with you.What To Read Next
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