12+ Reasons Why We Shouldn’t Make New Friends!

1. You could get social burnout

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Social burnout is when your calendar is jam packed with too many commitments, interactions, and obligations that overwhelm you- leaving you mentally and emotionally drained. If you add a bunch of new pals to your roster, you might end up wearing yourself thin. Self-care is key!

2. Burnout is very common in social-media users

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If you're on social media, it can be easy to think that everyone is out and about with friends every night of the week. This isn't true for the vast majority of people! Taking some time to rest, relax, and restore your social battery is equally important.

3. Spreading yourself too thin might mean you lose old friendships

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If you want to make lots of new friends, but want to avoid spreading yourself too thinly, then you might end up having to let go of your existing friendships. It's a sad inevitability, and a reason to think twice before you make new friends.

4. You only have so much time in the day!

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Yes, unfortunately, there are only 24 hours in a day, and therefore only so many people you can spend your social time on. Unless you're Hermione Granger and happen to have a handy time-turner (and if you do, we'd love to borrow it please!) the finite nature of your time puts a cap on how many friendships you can maintain.

5. If you’ve had a fight with old friends, it could be fixed

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Maybe you're hankering for new pals after a big bust-up with your regular gang of friends. In life, sometimes rifts and disagreements can leave you permanently at odds with people you used to consider like brothers and sisters. But, before you give up on them forever, it's good to consider if there might be a way to make amends.

6. Time heals all wounds, and sometimes a chat over coffee can heal most of them too

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Was your friendship-ending fight really big and serious enough to warrant cutting someone out forever? If it's possible that things might have gotten blown out of proportion, it could be worth clearing the air and trying to find a solution before you run off to make a whole new friendship group.

7. It’s good to feel comfortable being on your own

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Some people feel they can never have enough friends, always trying to find yet ANOTHER bestie. Whilst this impulse can come from a lot of root causes, sometimes this insatiable need for different social connections can come when someone isn't all that comfortable just being in their own company.

8. Alone time is important- go hermit mode!

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Sometimes a Friday night will roll around, and you don't have any plans. Maybe your regular posse are out of town, working late, or busy with date nights. No need to panic! A clear evening in your social calendar could be a lovely chance to hang out with someone very special: yourself!

9. Your old friends might be offended

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If you love your current friends, but they notice that you're on a mission to find yourself new ones, their feelings might be hurt. And understandably so! They'll be left wondering what it is you need that you're not getting from your relationship with them.

10. You're putting it all on the line

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Yes, it can be a dangerous game trying to have it all! If you're too busy searching for new friends, and your old mates get hurt feelings, you could end up losing what you already had. It's like Joni Mitchell said, "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone".

11. Whole new set of baggage to get your head around

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When you've been in a friend group for a few years, it's like a TV series you've been following for years. Season after season you've tracked the drama, as new characters are introduced and written out, with all the twists and turns a good plot throws up.

12. Catching up on everything you've missed will feel like studying for an exam!

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So, when you join a new social circle, you'll have so much to catch up on. All the mouldering resentments and emotional baggage that you're totally unaware of. Plus, when you don't have a handle on the group's shared history, it's all too easy to accidentally put your foot in it!

13. Your old friends already understand you

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Sometimes it can be so relaxing to be around people who already know everything about you. No boring backstory to rattle through, no long winding anecdotes to provide context, no need to explain the same old stories over again. With new friends, you're starting from scratch again.

14. An old friend can be helpful calling you out

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Someone who knows you really well will have seen you at your best, and probably at your worst too. So, not only do they already know all the necessary context for your stories, they'll probably be better than a new friend on calling you out when needs be.

15. You could just get a pet instead

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Hear us out- why go through all the hassle of making a new friend, when you could just adopt one instead. Meeting new people is a HUGE effort! Just think- you've got to go out and find them, figure out some common ground, build up emotional intimacy bit by bit...it's exhausting!

16. They're called man's best friend for a reason!

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Instead of all that hassle, you could give a home to a little furry friend instead! Lots of dogs and cats are looking for loving homes, so if you have some extra love in your heart that you're looking to dish out, why not? They'll love you unconditionally, and they give great cuddles- it's a win-win!

17. People might start to think you have an ulterior motive

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We all know someone who can never seem to stop socialising. They move through a party and, on a wider scale, through life, making new connections at every turn. Now, there's nothing wrong with this per se, but if they're on an absolute mission you might start to wonder what their motivation is...

18. Nobody likes a social climber

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No one wants to be considered a social climber: someone interested in friendship only if it helps the climb the ladder of popularity. So, consider this when you're thinking about making new friends: play it carefully, or people might get the wrong idea about your motivations.

19. Making friends takes a lot of time

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Between demanding bosses and deadlines at work, family at home to spend time with, and rest and relaxation to be had to recharge, life can get pretty busy!! If it's not an email that needs responding to, it's date night or a parent teacher evening- there's always something going on.

20. You'll end up running around like a headless chicken!

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All that is to say: do you actually have the time to make new friends?! Think of the hours you'll need to invest getting to know these new mates, and now think of your schedule. Can you really cram in more hang-outs without having to run around like a headless chicken?

21. Being obsessed with popularity is unhealthy

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Facebook, Instagram, Twitter: they're fabulous for killing time and having a laugh. But they can make it seem like everyone has millions of mates, hoards of homies, a platoon of pals. It's all too easy to get obsessed with adding friends to your life just to fill out the numbers.

22. Sometimes a few good friends are worth more than 100 acquaintances

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If you get obsessed with having as many friends as possible, it can start to be a big strain on you and your wellbeing. Plus, it's healthy to remember that having a few really good, true friends, is much more rewarding than having huge numbers of mere friendly acquaintances.

23. It takes a lot of energy

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Making friends was so easy as a kid. On the playground you could just join a game of tag, and in the classroom simply offering to share some crayons could form an instant connection. Sadly, as an adult, it's not quite that easy! You'll need to dig deep emotionally to forge a connection with someone brand new.

24. If your internal battery is low, why drain it further?

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A lot of people living in the busy, modern world, report that their energy is pretty much used up already! If you add on the additional task of meeting and bonding with new people, it sounds like a pretty exhausting prospect. Maybe sticking with your old friends would avoid all the hassle!

25. You might get rejected

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Whilst fear of rejection isn't a good reason to avoid putting yourself out there, it's something we have to point out. If you're thinking of ditching your old pals in search of new people, there's a chance they won't reciprocate. Who needs that heartache in their life?

26. Figure out if it's the right time to meet new people

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Of course, rejection is a natural part of life. It can't be avoided, either in your personal/love life or in your career: so, on balance, it isn't a reason not to try. It's just worth taking stock and making sure you're in a strong enough place to handle it if it happens; if you're feeling fragile, it might just not be the right time to go socially exploring.

27. You might be over compensating post-pandemic

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The COVID 19 lockdowns were, for most of us, a totally unprecedented time. Unable to leave our homes for weeks on end, with no capacity for seeing our friends except over a video call. Once those restrictions were listed, it was only natural that people prioritised socialising over most other things.

28.  COVID left us longing for more social contact

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The problem comes when our brains don't adjust this back down to a normal level again! Feeling the need to socialise as much as possible, with as many people as possible, might just be a hangover from this period of our lives- but it can be exhausting for all the reasons we've already been through.

29. You could pick up a new hobby instead

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If you're yearning to make new friends, it could be that you're looking to fill a bit more of your time. Instead of hunting for new mates, you could always pick up a hobby: something you've always wanted to try, or a wild card activity you'd never even heard of before!

30. There are so may activities out there to try

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So many of us have things we wish we'd tried: whether it's seeing more of the world, playing a musical instrument, or getting involved in sports. Well, it could finally be the moment to invest some time into these hobbies. And just think, if you meet new people in the future, you'll be all the more interesting for it!