10 Things Our Kids Should Never Apologize For

1. Being overly emotional

image source: reddit.com

Having a kid that gets emotional all the time and has tantrums is very difficult to deal with, but one thing you shouldn't make them apologize for is having emotions/showing those emotions. It's important to work through emotions and curb bad behavior while making them understand it's okay to feel!

2. Getting angry

image source: thetodayshow.com

Anger issues need attention, but your kid also needs to understand that feeling angry about something is normal and it's okay. It's another emotion, after all, and instead of making your kid say sorry for being angry, instead understand where that anger is coming from to work at better handling it!

3. Doing things earlier than you agreed

image source: reddit.com

Your kid may have been surprisingly super organized and done something you spoke about way ahead of schedule (which sometimes is just as inconvenient as something being late) but don't make them apologize for being proactive and getting stuff done as this might make them feel less inclined to do anything in future!

4. Not being able to concentrate

image source: reddit.com

Children and adults alike have trouble concentrating, and not many people can help that if they're suffering from conditions like ADHD. In a growing child especially, if you notice signs they're really struggling to concentrate, it's not something they should apologize for if it's not their fault.

5. Standing up for themselves with other kids

image source: reddit.com

If your child is being picked on or annoyed by other kids - and their reaction is valid - then you shouldn't chastise them for standing up for themselves (with words, not getting physical!). Encourage your child to have their own boundaries and stick to them, as it's a good thing.

6. Or even other adults

image source: reddit.com

Other adults might even push your kid's boundaries too, especially when they get older and go to school. It might be a teacher, teaching assistant, friend of the family - any adult that says or does something that upsets them or that they don't think is fair. Don't make them apologize for telling the truth about how they feel if they do so in a mature way!

7. Not showing any emotions at all

image source: reddit.com

You might think there's something 'wrong' with your kid because they never seem to get sad, angry, happy or excited about anything, but not openly showing their emotions isn't something that they need to apologize for - it's just something to work through understanding why.

8. Telling you what they think

image source: todayshow.com

Your kid should learn as they're growing up that it's okay to tell you straight what they think, as honesty is always encouraged. You might need to guide them to be a little more tactful, of course, but never try to make them hold back or say sorry for telling you honestly about what they think/feel!

9. Standing up for what they believe in

image source: reddit.com

This also counts for standing up for their own beliefs, too. Your child should learn that it's okay standing up for what they think, feel and believe in - as long as they learn to respect other people's different beliefs, too. So they should never be made to say sorry for doing that!

10. Just being themselves!

image source: reddit.com

One of the most wonderful things in the world for a parent is your child just being themselves - they're unique, with their own personality, and it's great to watch them shine! So make sure they know they never need to apologize for just being themselves, even if it's different to everyone else.

11. Not wanting to take the life journey you thought they would

image source: reddit.com

As your child grows, you might have had some ideas about what they would take an interest in, or the path they would take (maybe you even subconsciously guided their hand). If your child has taken a different path, don't make them feel like they disappointed you or that they need to apologize for it.

12. Things that are completely out of their control

image source: reddit.com

Some kids grow up apologizing too much, maybe trying to be people-pleasers, and end up apologizing for things that are completely out of their control - like cancelling plans due to the weather, or natural occurrences. Don't encourage your child to say sorry for things that aren't their fault!

13. Speaking up about a service that's wrong

image source: eater.com

As your child gets older and they're going out more, or you're out for a family meal, make sure they don't apologize for services they've paid for that are wrong. If you're at a restaurant and they clearly specified something only for it to come wrong, they don't need to say sorry for that or say it's their fault for not explaining it clearly - it's not their fault! Being respectful is key, but they don't need to act like it's their fault.

14. Saying no

image source: reddit.com

No is a full sentence, and it's something every kid should learn as they grow up that it's okay to say. You never need to apologize for saying no when you want to or need to - and forcing yourself to say yes, or apologizing for saying no, can turn into people-pleasing behavior when they're older.

15. Taking a time out

image source: reddit.com

Your kid also needs to understand that it's okay to say no in order to have a time out, take a mental health break or have some time alone. None of these things are things which need to be apologized for! So make sure they're not saying sorry just for needing some space.

16. Having mental health struggles

image source: reddit.com

As your child gets older, they also need to understand that mental health struggles aren't their fault, and nothing they need to apologize for. Whether it's struggling to fit in, feeling anxious or having low mood, they never need to say sorry for feeling that way when it's not their fault.

17. Telling the truth

image source: reddit.com

Your child should always be encouraged to tell the truth as much as possible, so you definitely shouldn't be making them apologize for something they've said that is honest. What's more important is guiding them to tell the truth in a more tactful and empathetic way, rather than blurting out hurtful things.

18. Lying because they thought it was best

image source: reddit.com

Sometimes, though, kids might hide the truth for the right reasons, because they don't want to hurt people, or maybe they're scared about getting into trouble for something they shouldn't be worried about. In this situation, don't make them apologize for it, but make them understand better about what to do next time.

19. Dressing/looking different

image source: reddit.com

Your child should be their full authentic self, of course! So they never have to apologize for what they want to wear, or if they have a personal style that makes them look completely different. Don't make them feel like they should have to apologize for looking or dressing a certain way.

20. Needing to ask for help with things

image source: usatoday.com

It's good to encourage your kid to ask for help when they need it, so that they don't power through alone and stubbornly refuse a helping hand. So if they do need to ask for help, make sure they know it's a valid thing and not something they need to say, "I'm so sorry but I could use some help."

21. And admitting they're struggling

image source: reddit.com

It takes a lot of courage to admit when you're struggling, whether with something like a task or even mentally or emotionally. So the one thing you don't want to do is have your child grow up thinking that it's not okay to say when they're struggling, and that they have to apologize for it.

22. Making a mess doing something they love

image source: bablands.com

If your kid is still young and discovering what they love and what they don't, try your best not to curb their passions or make them feel like they have to say sorry. It's not great if your child is discovering painting and decided to do it on one of the house walls - but if they're super proud of their artwork, don't make them say sorry for it - just make sure they understand to do it on paper and not on the house!

23. Taking a while to respond

image source: reddit.com

It's actually a good thing when growing kids learn to take their time before responding so that they can think what to say - it means they'll grow up understanding better how their words can impact others. Some kids may also take longer to process what someone has said, especially if they have short attention spans, so you definitely don't want to make them feel like they have to say sorry for taking a while to reply.

24. Not trying to hide their tears

image source: reddit.com

Emotions should be expressed fully, and that includes tears - as so many kids might be told that they have to hold back their tears, or that showing sadness is a weakness. Make sure you teach your child that crying is okay and definitely not something they have to apologize for. The important thing is managing emotions, not apologizing for them!

25. Here's what you can do instead of making your kid say sorry!

image source: huffpost.com

When you're trying to raise a child to be considerate of other feelings, encouraging them to say sorry is one of the top priorities parents have, but sometimes saying sorry can be an empty effort where they don't fully understand and just do it because you told them to. Here's what you can do instead of just forcing them to apologize!

26. Give them time to calm down first

image source: reddit.com

When things happen out of nowhere, your first reaction as a parent can be to act quickly and tell them to immediately apologize (like if they pull a friend's hair at playgroup). But your child is still full of heated emotion and you need to give them time to calm down first. Let them diffuse so you can talk them through why they should say sorry.

27. Talk about the feelings that led to the behavior

image source: reddit.com

As adults, you know instantly what's good and bad behavior from a child, but it can't just be based on when you tell them they should be sorry. You need to understand what led them to do the thing they should be sorry about, so understanding where that behavior came from (were they upset about something? Suddenly angry? Doing it because they'd seen someone else doing it?) is key.

28. Ask them what they'd do differently

image source: chicagotribune.com

Actually saying the word "I'm sorry" is only the first part of the process, as you need to get them thinking about their behavior and how they can fix it. Asking them what they would have done instead allows them to address their own behavior and be more aware of their actions. You can talk them through what would have been the right thing to do.

29. Make sure they understand what was wrong

image source: reddit.com

You can talk to your child about their feelings and have them give an apology that seems genuine, but it could always be the case that they're just saying sorry because it's the right thing to do - without even knowing what they did was wrong. Talk them through why

they need to apologize.

30. Work on making amends

image source: reddit.com

If you're really sorry about something, you need to do what you can to make it right, which often comes after the 'I'm sorry'! You need to take steps to make it up to the person and show that you're really remorseful, so you should work through this with your kid on how they can make a kind gesture in apology.