Divorcee Reveals The Top Things They Wished They Had Done Differently

1. Seeking professional help earlier

Image source: Reddit

A divorcee revealed that if there was something he would have done differently, he would have sought professional help sooner. He would have hired a relationship therapist to try and help them overcome their problems before they got too great to ever be fixed!

2. Encouraging open communication

Image source: Reddit

Another element that he would have chosen to do differently was that he would have encouraged open communication immediately; so that they could work through issues rather than staying silent and bottling up growing feelings of resentment towards one another!

3. Prioritizing self-care

Image source: Reddit

As well as acknowledging the things as a couple that could have been done differently, there was also the fact that it's super important to continue self-care and make sure that you look after yourself. Only by taking care of yourself can you hope to take care of a relationship!

4. Listening to boundaries

Image source: Reddit

Another huge aspect that a divorcee opened up about regretting not doing differently was listening to their personal boundaries. One divorcee felt that they had let their boundaries be dismissed for too long before it actually came to the point of divorce!

5. Turned to their family

Image source: Reddit

Divorce is a trauma to go through, and nobody needs to do it alone. Divorcees actually stated that they regretted trying to undergo the process and taking the emotional toll all upon themselves rather than leaning on their friends and family for support!

6. Kept their emotions in check

Image source: Reddit

One divorcee also revealed just how hard it is to keep your emotions (in many different senses) in check while going through a divorce. She wished she hadn't let her anger take over, and she wished she'd allowed herself to listen to her other emotions rather than trying to just 'be okay'.

7. Been more financially prepared

Image source: Reddit

It's no secret that as well as the emotional toll of a divorce, there's also the huge financial implications! Many divorcees found themselves in a terrible financial position because they had not prepared for what was about to happen, and all of the legal costs involved!

8. Tried to keep things civil

Image source: Reddit

There was a regret that came up time and time again by divorcees: having not managed to keep things civil. When two people are angry everything is heightened and things are much more out of control, this is when things turn ugly. But a lot of pain and time could've been spared if things were kept more civil.

9. Resolving differences in a neutral space

Image source: Reddit

When one person wants to discuss an issue and the other doesn't it's not a good time because it automatically means that the conversation will be heightened. Similarly, these important conversations have to be in a neutral setting at a time when both parties are calm, otherwise, it will never go well!

10. Followed legal advice

Image source: Reddit

A divorcee also revealed how she had wished that she had followed legal advice straight away to avoid the process dragging on a lot longer than was really necessary and to avoid things getting out of hand to the point that they did. Following the legal advice could save some time and tears.

11. Kept the children out of it

Image source: Reddit

Another regret for many divorcees was the fact that the children had ended up in the crossfire. Divorces are never pleasant, but keeping the children out of it as far as possible is something divorcees wish they had done so that they hadn't inflicted such a huge emotional impact on their kids.

12. Considering the emotional toll on the people around them

Image source: Reddit

Divorce doesn't just hurt the people involved, it hurts all of those around them. One divorcee describes how they neglected to think about the emotional impact and toll it would take on their families who were involved and how this was much greater than just the two of them.

13. Documented everything

Image source: Reddit

Another regret seemed to be not documenting the process properly so that they lost track of what had happened during the divorce. This meant that as the divorce continued for such a long time, they forgot the legal proceedings that had happened or what had been said and done during each step.

14. Tried to solve these privately

Image source: Reddit

Talking things over calmly and coming to agreements before filming for a divorce means that the legal sides of things have to be solidified, but it keeps the personal elements out of it as much as possible. Instead, because they didn't do this their whole personal relationship was dragged into the legal process.

15. Learned about their legal rights

Image source: Reddit

Divorce is a legal proceeding that nobody understands what it truly entails until they go through it. Knowing your rights is super important to be able to go through a divorce and come out the other side with a compromise that you feel is right and just. But, it's not always the case for divorcees which can be regretful!

16. Gone into the marriage with their eyes wide open

Image source: Reddit

Some divorcées look back and simply regret the marriage...or not going into the marriage fully informed or with their eyes wide open. Getting married can seem so exciting, at the expense of listening to doubts or facing realities that will come with it. And, divorcees definitely regretted this!

17. Tried to find a middle ground

Image source: Reddit

One divorcee recalls how she looks back on the whole divorce and wishes that they had privately come to some kind of middle ground before sending lawyers to sort out their fight for them. Not only did it cost so much more, but it also caused a lot more upheaval within the family.

18. Considered the right timing and not rushed into it

Image source: Reddit

Timing is everything and a divorcee talks about how they wished that they had waited until the dust had settled before launching into a divorce. Beginning the divorce when things were completely uprooted and fraught with tension was actually the worst thing to do for everybody!

19. That they had avoided making impulsive decisions

Image source: Reddit

Impulsive decisions are made in the heat of the moment, and when someone is faced with a very difficult time in there like when everything's super emotional, these decisions may not be the best. Looking back at a divorce is when divorcees realize they wish they had thought through their decisions properly.

20. Considered how it would upturn their whole life

Image source: Reddit

Marriage definitely isn't something to rush into...as one divorcee tells us. They regretted the way they went into marriage fairly naive, rushing the process because they were in love with no idea of how a divorce could completely upturn their life should things go wrong.

21. That they had tried to work on forgiveness

Image source: Reddit

As a divorcee aid, one of the best things you can do during a divorce (something that they did NOT do and regretted) is find forgiveness. This is because they thought that finding forgiveness earlier on in the process would have helped them move on with their life much easier.

22. Tried to protect their mental health more

Image source: Reddit

Another woman who divorced her husband after 15 years of marriage described how she totally neglected her mental health during the process because she was so wrapped up in grief. But protecting herself would have left her feeling less low and vulnerable at such a hard time.

23. That things hadn't turned so personal and nasty

Image source: Reddit

Something that many divorcees agreed on was the fact that they all regretted how their divorces had gotten so nasty and personal in terms of insults and trying to get back at one another. Hurt causes people to act in a totally different way than they would usually act.

24. Truly knowing what marriage meant

Image source: Reddit

Marriage is such a huge commitment and it can be hard, and this is what some divorcees look back on and wish that they had truly understood before they decided to get married. Understanding the true impact of marrying someone could have saved a lot of heartbreak in the end.

25. Avoided playing the blame game

Image source: Reddit

The blame game never works and it's never useful, as one divorcee looks back and realizes after their divorce was settled. The blame game had them going around in circles with each other and made things so much harder than they necessarily had to be.

26. Prepared for single parenthood

Image source: Reddit

If you're a parent, divorce is even more of a huge deal because it's not only the two of you to think about. Preparing for single parenthood is one thing that divorcees don't always take into consideration. Being single after a divorce is one thing, being a single parent is something else entirely.

27. Thought about the impact on their future relationships

Image source: Reddit

Another account from a divorcee talks about how divorce isn't just one process and they move on with their life. Divorce in their opinion shapes the rest of your life and how you interact and engage with future relationships because you are so scared of the same thing happening again.

28. Acknowledged their part in the marriage breakdown earlier

Image source: Reddit

According to one divorcee, one thing they really do regret was not admitting that they had any part in the breakdown of the marriage. They accused it all on their partner when in actual fact the reality was much less simple, and it made the whole thing get a whole lot nastier than it needed to be.

29. Asked for support

Image source: Reddit

There's definitely no shame in asking for help during a divorce, in fact, it's the best thing to do because it means you do not have to go through something alone! But, many divorcees regretted that this was something that they HADN'T done, perhaps due to pride.

30. Fought for their own interests

Image source: Reddit

One divorcée really wished that she had fought for her own interests rather than allowing her wishes to get completely overlooked. The impact of the divorce on her had led her to agree to terms that she looked back and regretted just because at the time she wanted it to be over as fast as possible.