10+ Signs You Should Move In With Your Partner

By Kirsty 1 year ago

1. You Spend Every Day Together Anyway

Image Source / RedditCan you even remember what your own place looks like? Is it covered in dust like a ghost town because you spend every day and night at your partner's anyway? You're paying rent on your own place when you're barely even there anymore because spooning with your partner in their bed every night is much better than sleeping at yours.

2. You've Practically Moved All Your Stuff In Already

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Ah yes, that famous 'here's a drawer you can have for your underwear' that swiftly turns into 'okay you can take over the entire wardrobe and did you repaint the bedroom while I was at work?'. You've carted pretty much all of your belongings to their's anyway, so you're practically living together just without officially saying it.

3. You've Actually Spoken About A Budget

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You might not have officially said the words 'let's move into together', but maybe you've been dancing around it by talking about hypothetical situations, and what you'd be willing to pay for rent or mortgage. If you've actually found that you're both on the same page with your budget and what you can afford, it means you have the same financial expectations if you did move in - which is great stuff.

4. Your Schedules Are *Chef's Kiss*

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Different schedules is one thing that can pull cohabiting couples apart - because who wants to be woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning because their partner is going to work, 5 hours before you even need to get up? But if your schedules work perfectly together and are in sync - or, if you just have an amazing understanding of what each other needs in terms of work shifts and time to sleep - that's perfect.

5. You Know How You'd Split Your Bills

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Another source of squirmy-ness for a lot of couples can be how to split the household bills and rent fairly if you're both making different salaries (which you likely will be). But if you've no problem working out a fair way to split everything without arguing or feeling pressured, this bodes well for both of you!

6. You Can Deal With Those Dreaded Expenses

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The household bills are the easy part, because they're a set amount. But here comes the fun part - the expenses! Trying to work out who pays for food, for the hot water and for the electric when your partner eats twice as many portions as you and takes twice as many showers can be a tough one to handle unless you're both on the same page. If you know exactly how you'd work it out and definitely won't argue about it, you're onto a winner!

7. You've Taken One (Or More) Successful Trips Together

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A vacation together is the true test of a new relationship. If you can't make it two weeks on vay-cay together without getting annoyed at your partner leaving their shorts and flip flops on the floor, or without arguing about one thing or another, it's probably not the right time to move in. But if you've successfully spent 24/7 together in that way without a single hiccup, you're obviously able to cope being together in a live-in situation!

8. You Can Deal With A Little Mess

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As sure as the sky is blue, you or your partner are going to have the opposite idea of what 'mess' means. And compatibility isn't about neither of you being messy - it's about being able to deal with it and get the best understanding you can of each other around the house. The key to this is compromise - if neither of you can compromise and are always going to be arguing about who left a wet towel on the floor, it might not work.

9. It's Not Just About Saving Money

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Living in one place together would save a ton on bills, as well as avoiding paying two rent or mortgage payments, but that shouldn't be the only reason. If one of you has said 'Oh we might as well move in together then to save money -shrug-' it's not really the best reason - not to mention not very romantic! Of course saving money is a huge bonus, but there needs to be other reasons, too - like, you know... actually wanting to live with them.

10. You're Both On The Same Page About Chores

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There can be nothing more stressful in a relationship than arguing about chores, or one person expected to do everything because they're a woman - or so society's outdated views have taught us. It doesn't matter how you choose to go about it - even if one person is a live-at-home partner and does all the chores while their partner is at work all day - all that matters is that you're both happy with the arrangement.

11. You Know The Do's And Don'ts Of Social Media

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Boundaries can get blurred when it comes to living together and what you post online. If your partner is a TikTok fiend, you don't want to be subjected to a 'Deciding to surprise my partner on the toilet' type video that's uploaded online. Living together can mean more potential for your private life to be splashed all over social media, so you need that understanding of what's okay to post.

12. All Your Debt Is Out On The Table

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It's one thing to have a healthy conversation about how much you make and can afford for bills - it's another entirely if your partner is telling you their salary but forgetting to mention the thousands of dollars of credit card debt. Your entire financial situation - the bad and the good - needs to be laid out on the table, because living together means bad credit history and debt issues need to be taken into account.

13. You've Survived Your Biggest Fight Yet

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Couples argue - it's a natural thing, and doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. If you've already had The FightTM, the biggest one you've ever had, and made it through the other side, this sets you up right for living together. If fights are inevitable, you need to know you can handle them like a pro when you're in the same house.

14. You're On The Same Page If You Already Have A Pet Or Two

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If either of you already have a pet, either one you already had when you first got together or one you bought when you were living separately, you need to be on the same page about how it'll work with the pet when you move in together. Who's responsible for what? Does your partner even like your pet? Will your partner's pet make a mess you're expected to clean?

15. And You're Happy To Change That Arrangement As You Go Along

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A mistake or miscommunication that many couples can have when moving into together is that they think the agreement they made for finances when first moving in is set in stone for all eternity. If you're planning on being together for a long time - which hopefully you are if you're thinking of moving in together! - chances are that situations will change, like new jobs with different salaries. So if you're both comfortable with switching up who pays for what based on circumstances, you're all good!

16. You Never Ignore Relationship Problems

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The thing is, when you live separately it's easy to ignore an angry text for a bit to cool off, or avoid seeing either other for a couple of days if you've had a fallout. But what's key about moving in together is that you can't avoid anything - you HAVE to talk about it. If you have this sussed, you'll do great. If you don't, you'll find that when you move in together, your problems are just going to explode if you don't know how to talk about them!

17. You're Not Scared To Talk About The Future

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One mistake couples can make is focusing on the here and now and the fact they know they want to live with each other, but without giving a second thought to what that means and what comes next. You need to openly talk about the future and ask what moving in together means for your relationship. If you ask your partner and they say, 'Oh I just want to save money on bills, don't think this means I want to marry you or anything', that might be a bit of a red flag.

18. You Openly Talk About Your Money

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Many people consider money as a taboo subject. If you ask your partner how much they make and they gasp and hide their bank statement like a Victorian maiden who's just been found without her glove on, it's not a good sign for living together and sharing the bills. To live together successfully, you need to talk about money - because you need to be sure you can both afford everything. So if you already comfortably blab to each other about your finances, that's great.

19. You Don't Feel Any Pressure Whatsoever

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The decision to move in together needs to be one without a single drop of pressure, from anything in your life. You shouldn't be moving in together because your parents told you to, because you've been together for years and feel 'obliged', or because all your other friends are moving in with their partners. This decision needs to be your own, and completely free of other people's unwanted input.

20. You're Not Scared About Making A Plan For If It Doesn't Work Out

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Nobody wants to think this way, but it's important when you're taking a huge step to share bills and/or property investment. Obviously fingers crossed it will work out, but having an upfront conversation about who would pay for what, or who would get what, if you did split up is key. And if you've both spoken about that maturely and realistically, you've got this!

21. You Know 100% That You're Exclusive

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This isn't just in relation to moving in together, as it shouldn't be a 'okay we wanna live together so I guess we're exclusive?' Ideally long before you're deciding to move in together you should have had the 'so what are we?' chat and both agreed that you're most definitely exclusive!

22. You're Not Moving Because You Think It'll Change Your Partner

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You shouldn't ever use moving in together to fix any niggles in your relationship that you have about your partner. If you're going into this thinking that you're moving in together in the hope that they'll spend more time with you, communicate better with you or they'll look for a better job, it might not be the best idea to move in.

23. You Both Understand What You Want From Your Own Space

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Living together doesn't mean that you should be up in each other's face 24/7, as there still needs to be boundaries about what space in the house means to you. Of course, if you're happy in a relationship that has you in each other's face 24/7, there's nothing wrong with that either! The key here is that you both understand what you both need, whether that's a spare room to do your own thing, or an open-plan living situation because you'd prefer to share space in that way.

24. You Both Know The Do's and Don'ts Of Living Together

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Living with someone else means some things are out of your control, and neither of you should ever do anything that pushes a partner out of their comfort zone unexpectedly. So if you've both communicated what you'd like and what you wouldn't - for example, you've told your partner you never want unexpected guests, and they've told you that cooking really isn't their forte - it's a good sign.

25. You're Okay With Losing Independence

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This doesn't mean you can no longer be an independent person if you live with your partner, but there's no denying that living with someone else means a certain level of dependency and also giving up some of that good ol' freedom. So if you're both cool with the fact that you won't be as independent as you were before, it's all good!

26. You Know What You'd Both Need In A Crisis Situation

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You know when you have those really bad days and you just want to go home and be left alone? It doesn't quite work like that when you live with someone else, which is why you both need to know what you need from a bad situation. Do you need space to cool off? Do you need to talk it out, or stay out of the house for a while?

27. You Have A Methodical Approach To It

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Being methodical and treating moving in together like a work task isn't actually a bad thing (even if it doesn't sound very romantic). It's so important to do this so that you both know what you need and expect from a living situation in relation to chores, bills, time spent together and even interior improvements or living layout.

28. You Know (And Respect) Each Other's Boundaries

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Boundaries are so important in a relationship, and especially so when you live together. You need to both understand what you can and can't cope with when you're living together. You may draw the line at having dirty laundry everywhere, and they may draw the line at unwashed dishes being left in the kitchen. It's important to tell each other before you move in and not afterwards when it turns into a built-up argument from bad habits!

29. Your Gut Says This Is The Right Thing

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Your gut is so helpful when it comes to things like this, because sometimes you just
. So if your gut has got your back when it comes to this decision and is telling you to go for it, be sure to follow your gut if every other box has been ticked, too. Your intuition will always tell you whether you're truly ready to move in or not.

30. You've Tried To Come Up With Every Possible Reason Not To, And Come Up With Nada

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It's always a good idea to draw up a pros and cons list for things like this. If you can come up with even just one reason not to move in together, it's worth looking into that. But if you can't think of a single reason not to move in together, no matter how hard you've tried, it's obviously a very big green flag!

31. Neither Of You Are In A Desperate Circumstance

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You should never move in together through desperation, or in the middle of any sort of crisis - even if all the other signs are that you'd be great roomies! If you've just been kicked out of your old home and desperately looking for somewhere to sleep, you're feeling desperate in general like time is ticking away or you've lost your job, these shouldn't be reasons to jump straight to, 'Hey, let's live together!'.

32. You Both Have Job Security

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It's always going to be a huge plus when you're deciding to live together that you both have job security. The worst thing would be to work out who is paying for what, the type of place you can afford, only to then move in and have one of you lose your job. Of course couples can always work through something like this, but if one of your jobs is a huge risk right now, maybe hold off.

33. And You've Both Worked For You Current Jobs For A Long Time

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This isn't just about job security, it's also about the type of place you'll be able to move into. This is because sometimes it can work against you from a bank or landlord's point of view if you've just started a new job, because they see it as a financial risk if you're still working a probation period. So even better if you've both had your jobs for ages!

34. You Both Want To/Need To Relocate

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Of course this shouldn't be the
reason, but if it's one of the reasons, it's a good one. Have you both suddenly got a job in a different location you need to relocate to? Or are you both on the same page about wanting to relocate and start a fresh? Well if you both want to/need to move to the same place anyway, there might be no point trying to find two separate new properties!

35. Or, One Of You Wants To Relocate Where The Other Lives

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Or maybe you're dealing with a long distant relationship and one of you lives in the place the other one now actually wants to move to - not necessarily because of the relationship, maybe just because it's the area they want to live and they've got a job there. If that's the case, it might make more sense just to move in with the person who already lives there!

36. You Don't Have Other People Who Depend On You

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We don't mean the obvious here like kids, because obviously to be in a serious relationship you'd already had the chat about the other person having kids! But do you have a best friend who likes to turn up unannounced and crash on your couch for the third time in a week because they've been kicked out?

37. Or, You've Had A Serious Talk About Dependents

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If it's a case that you have a situation like this you're not willing to change, and you've told your partner, 'Oh FYI, my bestie likes to sometimes sleep over after a night out - would you be okay with that?' and they're absolutely fine with it, hallelujah! The problem is if you tell your partner this and they would 100% hate anyone turning up to sleep over.

38. Your Future Plans Absolutely Align

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It's one thing to talk about the future - it's another to make sure your future goals completely align. You've been open about what you both want from the future, but if your future plans are an absolute match made in heaven, then this is only going to bode will if you move in together because you know you'll be on the same wavelength for every step after that.

39. You're On The Same Page About Kids

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There are some pretty big deals when it comes to relationships, and having kids together is one of them. You need to make sure you're on the same page about this before you move in together, because if you find out down the line you want different things, you might start wishing you'd never moved in together at all. If one of you definitely wants kids and one of you doesn't, you might want to think twice about getting that house together.

40. And Marriage, For That Matter

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Any Friends fan (so all of us) will remember that episode where Phoebe moved in with Mike then he turned round and said he didn't want to get married. She'd barely even unpacked her boxes! This is because, like kids, you need to be on the same page about marriage, too. You don't want to end up buying a house together hoping to get married, only to find out your partner
want that.

41. You Both Have The Same Ideas About Eco-Living

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It's only when you live with a person do you find out their bad habits in regard to eco-living and things like recycling. It might cause a lot of friction if you move in with someone only to learn you're complete opposites when it comes to eco-friendly living. If you're an eco-warrior and they're doing everything they can to make the environment worse, you might have a problem.

42. You Both Want The Same House Type/Setup/Layout

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It's more important when you're buying a house, but it's still very important if you're renting. You need to have the same idea about what you want from a property - because if one of you would go crazy without a garden and open-plan living, while the other wants a top floor apartment with no windows, you might need to have another chat.

43. Or, You're Very Willing To Compromise On Some Property Features!

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Of course, not every couple agrees 100% on what they want from a property - and it doesn't mean you shouldn't move in together! If you are willing to compromise on things you might not be able to get because you can't agree, then you can still live in harmony with each other - granted you actually mean it when you say 'okay' and you're not going to make them feel bad about it every single day!

44. You Don't Have Any Secret Habits That You Want To Keep That Way

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If you currently live alone and have something you like to do in the privacy of your own home, you might struggle to suddenly give that up. Maybe you have a secret stash of 100 teddy bears that you like to talk to and you're suddenly faced with the idea of your partner finding out about that. Make sure all your 'secret' habits are laid on the table before moving in!

45. You're Both Cool About Your Relationships With Each Of Your Parents

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Now this one is for all the people out there with very clingy parents. Because if you prefer to be left alone at home, but your partner has parents that like to turn up unannounced every single day and stay every weekend, this might cause a bit of friction. So you need to be sure you're both cool with how your parents would be if you had your own place.

46. You Don't Have Any Huge Plans In The Next Few Years That Could Change Everything

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You can still be in a committed, loving relationship where you both want the same things, but make big changes for your own life or career that might impact your home life. If you want to move in with your partner but also know that you have a bucket list item to travel the world before you're 40, you might want to discuss that first.

47. You Agree On Whether This Is A Stepping Stone Property Or Forever Home

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This is such an important one because you don't want to muddy the waters with what you both might think this is. Does one of you think this property together will be your forever home, while the other is thinking it's just a starting point and you'll move again in a few years? Definitely make sure you agree about this, because you don't want one of you stuck in a home forever that they were hoping would only be short-term!

48. You've Been Together For A Long Time

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Nobody can say when the right time to move in with someone is - when you know, you know. But it can always help if you've been together a very long time, because it just makes it more likely you've already talked about the future, you know what you want, you already know what your partner is like to live with and you already know
their bad habits!

49. You're In Love!

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With all this talk about bills, properties and future plans, it's also important not to forget the bottom line: you're completely loved up! Being in love with each other is kind of a big deal, and a good reason to move in together. Why wouldn't you want to wake up every day with the person you love and know you share a home?

50. You've Got The Deposit Ready To Go

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And as a huge bonus, if you've already got a massive chunk of money for a deposit ready to go on a new property and don't have to worry about trying to cut back on takeouts to try and save some dollar, then this is a good starting point for your future together as a serious couple!

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