Signs That Your Marriage Is Over

By Abigail 11 months ago

1. Your partner no longer makes an effort.

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Everyone will have slightly different ideas about what it means to 'make an effort' in relationship. Maybe it's about going out of your way to take work off the other person, or always being there to listen, or just saying nice things every day. If any of these things stop, and your partner has ceased to actually make an effort, then it could be a sign that your relationship has reached its end.

2. You struggle to communicate.

Gone Girl
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Communication is one of the most important things in any relationship, but even more so when you're married. With marriage comes lots of important conversations around the future, like buying a home, having kids, saving for the future, and career goals. If either one of you are struggling to talk about that - avoiding the subject or always disagreeing - then that's a bad sign.

3. Your view of the future doesn't include your spouse.

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Think about what you want from life. Close your eyes and imagine your ideal future. Maybe you're visiting somewhere you've always wanted to. Maybe you're celebrating your future child's first birthday. If your current partner doesn't feature in your future plans, it could be a sign that you don't feel committed to them anymore, and it might be time to think about divorce.

4. You don't have s*x anymore.

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S*x doesn't have to be the biggest thing in your relationship. But it is an important sign of intimacy, which means that once the s*x stops, you may not feel as close to your partner. Now, this is important - you should want to be close to the person you married, so if the s*x has stopped and you don't see any sign of it returning to your relationship, it might be a warning sign.

5. You're making big financial decisions without their input.

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Finances are a tricky subject in all marriages. As soon as you're married, your partner needs to be a part of your financial decision-making, whether that's about how you spend or how you save. If you're starting to make moves without them -  changing how much you save or putting money away for a different life goal - and they don't know about it... Well, that's not a good sign.

6. You want to cheat.

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Cheating is never a part of a healthy marriage, so the moment you're starting to think about getting with your handsome friend from your running club or a long-lost high-school love, then it's probably a sign that something's not right in your marriage. What is making you want to cheat? If it's because you're mentally looking for something new, then maybe it's time for a divorce.

7. You dread spending time alone with them.

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You spend a lot of time together in a marriage, even if your work lives are busy. You probably live together, maybe you're raising kids together, you visit your families together. But if alone time with your partner is giving you the ick - it might be a sign that your marriage is heading for divorce. You should want to hang out with your life partner!

8. You don't respect them anymore.

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Every relationship is built on respect. If you can't respect your partner's decisions any more, then it's probably because you're surreptitiously thinking you shouldn't be with them anymore. Vice versa, if you don't think your partner respects your anymore, it could be time to leave.

9. You don't have anything to talk about anymore.

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We've said communication is important, but that shouldn't just be limited to the biggest issues in life. If you can't even sustain a conversation over coffee, then should you be in a relationship with them? If you've noticed your ability to talk to your partner deteriorating over time, then maybe you need to accept that your marriage isn't going anywhere.

10. You love texting or talking to someone else.

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Of course, it's possible to have friends of the opposite sex as a married person. Only you know when you're taking it too far. If you're texting someone else regularly - or even meeting up with them in person - and find that you're enjoying it a little bit too much, it might be a sign that your marriage is on the rocks.

11. You have very different opinions on having kids.

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Kids aren't always the biggest problem in a relationship - and it's certainly not a done-deal that being married means you're going to have children! But if you and your partner have very different views on having a child together, it could be a problem - especially if neither of you are going to change your mind.

12. You can't be bothered to fix the problems.

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Have you and your partner both realized that there's something wrong with your relationship? That's a good sign - now you can focus on fixing it. But wait - neither of you actually want to put in the work. This isn't a good sign, and might spell divorce in your future.

13. You both refuse to compromise on things that are important to you.

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Whether it's the question of having kids, where you're going to buy a house, or even just getting a pet, it's important that you and your partner can reach decisions together in your marriage. When this isn't the case - and neither of you can sacrifice something for the sake of a decision - it doesn't bode well.

14. Both you and your partner mention divorce frequently.

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Many relationship counsellors will tell you that it's important to discuss divorce with your partner, even in the early days of your marriage. But if divorce has become a bit of your charged word in your relationship - for example, you mention it too often, and in too many arguments - then it could be a sign that your relationship is going in the wrong direction.

15. You don't listen to your partner, and they don't listen to you.

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It's so important to listen to your significant other. Without listening, you'll never be able to resolve issues and, most importantly, be there for each other. So, if listening has kind of taken a back seat in your relationship, it's not a good sign. Even worse, if neither you or your partner can be bothered to start listening again.

16. You have fights that last for days.

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Fighting sometimes is usually a sign of a healthy relationship - it's natural that you're going to disagree on things, and what's more important is that you find a way to resolve those issues. But fights that last for days? Or ones that seem to rehash the same topic every single time? That's not good.

17. Or, you never fight anymore.

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image source: pinterest.com
You know what else isn't good? Not fighting at all. If you and your partner never ever disagree, and never get heated enough to warrant a 'fight', it could be that neither of you are actually as invested in your relationship as you think you are. So, if you barely fight anymore, have a think about why that is.

18. You don't feel an emotional connection to your partner anymore.

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There's a reason you married your partner. You can call it what you want, but it's that intrinsic 'connection' that made you want to be with them. This emotional connection is at the core of every relationship, and if you don't feel it anymore (or can't remember why you married them in the first place), it's probably a sign that your relationship is reaching its end.

19. You don't have any intimacy.

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Intimacy doesn't have to be all about s*x. It's those little things - reaching for your partner's hand, sitting close to them on the sofa, giving them a kiss before they leave for work. All those little moments of intimacy add up, and if they're not part of your relationship any more then it might be a sign that your marriage is reaching its end.

20. Your partner isn't supportive of you (and you aren't supportive of them.)

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This goes both ways. If you're not feeling any support from your partner anymore - they don't turn up for you at important events, they don't encourage you to follow your dreams - then it's a bad sign. But it's an equally bad sign if you are also not supportive of them. Does it frustrate you to be supportive of them, for example if you don't agree with them? Then maybe your marriage isn't healthy anymore.

21. You have very different future goals.

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image source: twitter.com
Couples don't have to agree on everything - far from it, some disagreement is good. But do you feel like yours and your partner's lives are moving in different directions? Whether this is because of career goals that are changing or you're wanting to move to different places, then it could be a sign that your relationship also doesn't have a future.

22. One of you is cheating on the other.

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Thinking about cheating is arguably very different from actually cheating. Both, however, are probably going to disastrous for your relationship. So, if either of you are cheating on the other, you're going to need to have a serious conversation about whether your marriage can continue.

23. You always feel sad and drained when you're with them.

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Being with your partner should make you feel happy. This sounds like a really obvious statement, but so many married couples stay together without even thinking about whether they're happy anymore. But if you feel genuinely sad and drained after spending time with your partner, it's definitely time to think about whether your marriage has reached its end.

24. You actively dislike your partner.

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image source: weheartit.com
You absolutely don't want to hate the person you're married to. And while it's normal to get annoyed by them sometimes (you spend a lot of time together, after all!), it's a big step when that frustration turns into actual hatred for the person you're with. The best thing to do - for both of your sake's - at this point is to consider divorce.

25. You don't trust your partner anymore.

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Trust is the foundation of a marriage - and any relationship, for that matter. You should trust that your partner loves you, and is going to be there for you, and will help and support you. If they don't give you a reason to trust them anymore, then it's definitely not a good sign.

26. You're always angry about something.

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Anger can destroy relationships, especially when neither of you can find a reason to de-escalate and talk about the problem. If you find that you wake up every day angry with your partner, and never get a rest from that anger, it's probably a sign that you shouldn't be married to them anymore.

27. You're only with them still for convenience.

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It's all too easy to stay with someone out of convenience, even if that sounds awful. The costs alone of divorce are enough to deter people from it, even when you both know it's the right thing to do. Remember, you should never be with someone out of convenience. And you might be ruining your only chance to move forward with your life and get to a better place.

28. You're both getting more distant.

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Distance is a classic relationship ruiner. Being married means being involved in each other's lives intimately, from supporting each other's families to possibly raising children together. If you feel like you're drifting apart - you don't talk about important things anymore, you don't want to spend time with each other - it's probably a sign your marriage is over.

29. You feel lonely the majority of the time.

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Sure, it's natural to feel lonely sometimes, especially if you and your partner have work schedules that make it difficult to spend quality time together. But what about when you are hanging out? Do you still feel like they're not listening to, they don't take you seriously, they're not really with you? All that can be really detrimental, and could be a sign that your marriage is ending.

30. Neither of you are fighting to make it work.

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Nobody ever said marriage was easy - it's something that requires both parties to want to succeed. If both of you are resigned to the idea of your marriage finishing, and don't want to make an effort to change things for the future, then it's definitely a sign that a divorce is the next logical step.

Now Let's Look At How To Improve The Success Of Your Marriage... Open And Honest Communication

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A successful marriage involves good communication where both partners feel comfortable expressing themselves openly and honestly. This means being able to listen actively, communicate clearly, and share feelings and thoughts in a non-judgemental manner.

Mutual Respect

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Respect is crucial in a successful marriage. It involves treating your partner with dignity and understanding that they have their own values, beliefs, and opinions that should be respected. Having that mutual respect creates a judgement free zone for your partner to express themselves.

Shared Goals, Values, And Interests

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A successful marriage involves partners who share similar values and goals. Having shared values means that both parties hold similar beliefs about what is important in life, such as honesty, kindness, and respect. This shared foundation helps to provide a solid base for the relationship, and it can also help to guide decision-making and problem-solving.

Incredible Intimacy

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Intimacy is a key component of a successful marriage. This involves physical touch, emotional connection, and sexual compatibility. A healthy sex life can increase intimacy, boost happiness and energy levels, and massively help to reduce stress which could be causing a strain on your marriage.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

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A successful marriage requires trust and honesty. Trust involves having faith in your partner's intentions and actions, while honesty involves being truthful and transparent in all aspects of a relationship. Marriages that have involved cheating are less likely to be successful as the trust has been broken.

Working As One

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A successful marriage involves partners who are willing to work together to solve problems and make compromises. This requires open communication, empathy, and a commitment to the relationship. Compromising involves finding a middle ground where both partners can feel satisfied with a decision or solution, even if it means making concessions or sacrifices.

Growing Together

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A successful marriage involves partners who support each other's personal growth and development. This means encouraging each other to pursue interests, hobbies, and goals that enhance personal growth. This can be done together or apart, don't forget that you and your partner need time apart as well as together.

Conflict Resolution Skills

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Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, and can put quite the strain on anyone, but a successful marriage involves partners who have good conflict resolution skills. This means being able to listen, understand each others perspectives, and find a mutually acceptable solution.

Maintaining Shared Experiences

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A successful marriage involves partners who spend quality time together, adn maintain shared experiences. This can involve shared hobbies, travel, and other activities that create positive memories and strengthens the bond between partners. When times aren't so easy, these positive memories can remind you that it is all worth it.

A Sense Of Safety & Security

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A successful marriage involves partners who feel emotionally safe and secure in the relationship. This involves trust, respect, and a commitment to the relationship. Safety is an essential component of a successful marriage as it makes both parties feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable and honest with each other.

You Can Express Gratitude To One Another

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A successful marriage involves partners who express appreciation and gratitude towards each other. This means acknowledging and valuing each other's efforts, accomplishments, and contributing to the relationship. Showing that appreciation towards one another increases the likelihood of you both wanting to put in the effort.

You're Friends Too

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A successful marriage involves partners who share a strong friendship and emotional connection. This involves supporting each other through ups and downs, having fun together, and enjoying each other's company. When partners are friends, they enjoy spending time together, sharing experiences, and building memories. This kind of connection can help to build a deep and meaningful bond that can sustain a relationship through the ups and downs of life.

Willingness To Apologize

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Willingness to apologize and taking responsibility for your mistakes is vital in a successful marriage as it allows you to always move forward. This means acknowledging when you are wrong, apologizing sincerely, and taking steps to make amends. Failure to do so will mean that your relationship will get trapped in a negative aura.

Forgive And Move Forward

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After your partner has taken the steps to apologize for their mistakes, it is important to have the ability to forgive and move forward from any past hurts. This means letting go of grudges and resentment, and working together to rebuild trust and and repair the relationship.

Healthy Financial Habits

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A successful marriage involves partners who work together towards shared financial goals and have healthy financial habits. This means being financially responsible, creating a budget in different aspects of your life, and communicating openly about money.

Work-Life Balance

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A successful marriage involves partners who prioritize their relationship and maintain a healthy work-life balance. This means setting boundaries, creating quality time for each other, and avoiding overworking. If you work from home, create a separate space to work and a separate place to relax with your partner to resist the temptation to work.

Supporting Each Others Aspirations

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A successful marriage involves partners who support each other's dreams and aspirations. This means encouraging each other to pursue career goals, personal interests, and other aspirations that are important to them. Showing an interest in your partner's dreams and aspirations is a selfless act that they will be sure to appreciate.

Flexibility And Adaptability

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A successful marriage involves partners who are flexible and adaptable. This means being able to adjust to changes and challenges in the relationship, and being open to new ideas and perspectives. This shows the harsh realities on how to maintain a healthy relationship... it's not easy, but it's totally worth it.

Shared Responsibilities

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A successful marriage involves partners who share responsibilities in the relationship. This means dividing household chores, childcare duties, and other responsibilities equally and fairly. When this is one sided, it creates a parent/child dynamic that will definitely dampen the spark.

Celebrating Milestones!

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A successful marriage involves partners who celebrate milestones and accomplishments together. This means acknowledging and celebrating important events and accomplishments in the relationship. Celebrating the small stuff allows you to keep the spark alive.

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