Signs You Need Couples Therapy

1. Your Partner Isn't Listening To You

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Nothing can be more frustrating than when you're actually trying to tell your partner something - anything - and they aren't interested in listening. If you can't get through to them yourself, this is where a therapist's office will come in handy - so they're forced to listen!

2. Or You're Not Really Listening To Them!

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Of course, it takes two to tango, and it might be that you're not listening to them. You might not even know why - maybe they're annoying you so much that you just can't be bothered to listen to them? Either way, a therapist will help you work out why you don't want to hear them!

3. You're Stuck On The Same Argument, Again And Again!

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However upsetting and stressful arguments can be, they're there to be worked through and to come to a solution so that you can both move on. So if you're arguing about the same thing again and again, it just means you're not learning anything and you're both hung up on the same issues.

4. You've Run Into A Brick Wall

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You just can't see the way forward. You don't know how to get past something that's bugging you because you don't want to forgive and forget, but you don't want to keep pointlessly arguing about it either. Maybe some big life decision has come up, too, that's just left you feeling stuck.

5. Everything They Do Annoys You

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Every. Single. Thing. Anyone who's broken up with someone will know this feeling, because there's a point where every little quirky thing you loved about them at the beginning suddenly annoys the hell out of you. Breaking up doesn't have to be the answer, though - that's where therapy comes in.

6. Social Media Has Become A Serious Issue Between You

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This becomes an issue of boundaries, because social media can be used in many ways - and some ways may not be okay with one of you. If one person is using social media to keep in touch with exes or be friends with them/like their posts, for example, the other could be feeling annoyed about that.

7. Your Relationship Is Stopping You From Growing As A Person

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No relationship should make you feel like you have to sacrifice yourself as a person, or stop you from growing into who you want to be. So if you're feeling stunted and as though you can't develop your own interests or personality, then this is a big issue that therapy can help with.

8. It's Also Stopping You From Growing As A Couple!

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And of course it's important to grow as a couple, too. You need to develop and mature as a team, especially as time goes by and your relationship becomes more serious. If you can't grow together that's just a red flag for your future, because it doesn't bode well for the long term.

9. You Just Can't Stop Fighting

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There's nothing wrong with arguments in a relationship - in fact, they're healthy. The problem is when you are fighting non-stop, and this could be over the most random, petty things. Fighting for the sake of it is just a sign that there's some deeper issue there that you're both annoyed about.

10. Or... You Never Actually Fight At All

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We know what you're thinking - but think about it: you never, ever fight at all because you're shoving every negative feeling down and never airing it to talk about it, or walk through it. Believe it or not, fighting is better than never fighting at all because it at least means you're voicing your problems!

11. You're Not Having Sex

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Sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship, but if you were a couple who had lots of sex before and now suddenly you're not having any, this is a sign that something has changed. You could be less attracted to each other, feeling more distant, or your problems have become a block in the bedroom.

12. Or Any Exchange Of Physical Intimacy Whatsoever

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There's more to physical intimacy than sex, and every little thing is important. This could be a kiss, a hug, a pat on the shoulder, holding hands when you're out.. even just smiling at each other. if there isn't any physical intimacy whatsoever, there's something between you making you keep your distance.

13. You Actually Think You Might Need Couples Therapy

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You might have actually sat there and thought that couples therapy would be a good idea, because you don't know what else to do yourself. Even just the fleeting idea of therapy is a sign that you're obviously thinking about needing help in your relationship and whether someone else can offer a different viewpoint.

14. You're Thinking About Taking The Next Step As A Couple

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So this one can actually be a good thing. It's healthy to explore your current relationship before you take any big step. This could be marriage, having kids, a huge career or living change.. anything that is going to test you as a couple. Having therapy to talk through where you're at now can help to know whether you're ready for the next step.

15. You Just Know You're Growing Apart

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Sometimes it can be as simple as just knowing that you're moving in opposite directions. That every day is just a step further away from each other on an emotional level. The longer you leave this without therapy, the further apart you're going to grow and then it's just going to become normality.

16. Your Routines Have Changed And You Have No Time For Each Other

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Finding time for each other, no matter what else is happening, is key in a relationship - that's why so many people put focus on date nights. The fact that you're having problems could be because you're not spending time for each other - so a therapist could help you explore your schedule situation and what's going on.

17. The Honeymoon Phase Is Definitely Over!

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Most couples will feel like they have the best relationship in the world during the honeymoon phase, when everything seems fun, carefree and you're completely besotted with each other. Many couples can struggle when this phase is over because problems can begin to seep in.

18. You Want To Communicate - You Just Don't Know How

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Actually wanting to communicate is a great start - it shows you're willing to work on the relationship. But it's a bit tricky when you don't even know where to start. A therapist will be able to give you tools to work with to express your emotions and needs to your partner.

19. You've Started Having Different Ideas About The Big Things

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This one's a tricky one. When you first got together, did you talk about marriage and kids and wanting all that someday? And now something's changed - your partner has got a big promotion and wants to put kids on hold. Maybe they don't even know if they want kids anymore.

20. Or, You've Only Just Found Out You Have Different Ideas!

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This is why it's so important to talk about marriage and kids before you get into a serious relationship - because you don't want to wake up one day after presuming you both wanted kids to find out they never, ever wanted them. How can you navigate a relationship going forward if you want different things?

21. You Only Focus On The Negative

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It might not be that every single second of every day is doom and gloom - you might have happy moments. But if you're not focusing on those happy moments and you're only concentrating on all the fallouts and negatives, it shows you want

to focus on the negatives - and that needs to be explored!

22. The Arguments You Have Aren't Constructive At All

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Arguments can be very helpful for couples when they serve a purpose - when you're working through something that's important. But if you're arguing about who forgot to put the lid on the mayo in the fridge, then things are getting a little heated for no reason.

23. You Don't Trust Each Other - Or You're Struggling To!

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Trust is the bedrock of any relationship - if you don't trust each other, there's no going forward. But you don't need to give up - because a therapist can help you to understand why you don't trust each other, and you might uncover that one of you was just being paranoid all along!

24. You've Lost That All-Important Spark

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Even through the fights and bad days, there should still be some spark and love under all of that. Sure, they annoy the hell out of you, but you know you still want them. So if that feeling - that spark - is gone, a therapist can help you to either get it back, or accept you both need to move on separately.

25. You've Gone Through Something Really Difficult Together

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Sometimes, it can be a really difficult event that leaves a couple drifting apart. You might not be able to cope with grief, a huge change such as one of you losing your job, or anything else that was out of your control that might have impacted you. A therapist will be key for working through these feelings.

26. You're Actually Afraid Of Communicating

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Do you feel like you're treading on egg shells? You shouldn't feel like that in a relationship. You might be scared of communicating because you don't want to start another big fight, or maybe you think it'll be the final straw if you say anything. But learning how to confidently communicate is key!

27. There's So Much Resentment There

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Deep seated resentment is going to pull your relationship apart from the inside! If you have resentment, you're going to react in the worst way to stuff just on principal because you're annoyed. You may not even know what it is that you resent - was it something they did years ago that you thought you'd forgiven them for? Maybe you didn't after all.

28. You've Started Keeping Secrets From Each Other

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Just like lack of trust, keeping secrets is definitely on the road to a bad relationship. It might not be the worst secrets - like being unfaithful - as it could just be the simplest things like not telling them you're going out for work drinks. But choosing to keep things secret means you're not willing to share - why?

29. Your Lives Are Starting To Become Separate

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You might have started making your own decisions because it's just too stressful to make decisions with your partner these days - maybe they won't even give you a straight answer. So you've both just started doing your own thing, which isn't team playing at all!

30. Cheating Has Crossed Yours, Or Your Partner's, Mind

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And this is what could finally push your relationship past breaking point if you don't see a therapist before one of you actually cheats! If either of you is thinking about cheating, it could be because you're not having any sort of needs - emotional or physical - met in the relationship.